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  1. #1
    Junior Member antigone's Avatar
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    Default How to tell if an ISFP dislikes you?

    Hello, I'm new to the forums, though I am a longtime lurker.

    So, my question lies in the mental realm of the ever-mysterious S-type. I am as far from a Sensor as one can be without the diagnosis of autism or somesuch. So, as much of an INFP as I am, I tend to speak a lot of abstract nonsensical things and randomness that SF types completely disregard or interrupt if they can help it. I feel as though, with this particular ISFP, anything I say is some kind of subtext for the carefully observant, and she is there to provide the big bold title because that's what really matters at all anyway.

    We've had a bit of a complicated relationship to begin with because a mutual "friend" of ours, who we both had dated - myself more recently and for a substantially lengthier amount of time - has put a lot of effort into distorting others' opinions of me since our break-up. That's a much longer story, but that particular ex of mine could spend 10 minutes alone in a room with our friends, I'd walk in, and the atmosphere would turn cold and I'd suffer the piercing onslaught of 8 icy pairs of eyes. She's more manipulative than Scientology, and JUST as untrue.

    They happen to be BEST friends. However, the ISFP has remained friends with me, because I've never given her a reason to dislike me. I've gone out of my way to be a good friend to her. That probably isn't what my ex is saying behind my back, though ...

    So, since our break up, the ISFP's behavior toward me has grown colder. She says that she wont form her opinion of me based on my ex's words, but I have my doubts. In social situations, she absolutely has to assert her dominance over me. She makes it clear that she is more capable than I am at everything. She'll bluntly be like, "... That doesn't make any sense" when I make a joke, frustrated obviously by my abstractness. She's very belittling ... And honestly, she must think I'm a total idiot if everything I say is so unimportant.

    Yet she's definitely not this way toward anyone else as far as I've noticed. Anyone she deems as "cool" is a complete exception, and she'll quickly throw herself at any joke or idea they conceive, anything they like ... Whereas my taste in just about everything sucks, apparently.

    Weirdly enough though, we've signed a lease on an apartment together. I know I can tolerate it since we're both going to be extremely busy, full-time work AND school, and I'll have my own room, and we ARE friends. I don't think she'd agree to be my roommate if she hated me, but the disrespect is just getting to be too much. I am excessively sweet but I don't have an extensive supply of this ... I absolutely wont tolerate a lack of respect like this from any friend, regardless of how little their sh*t does or does not stink.

    I suppose what I'm asking is ... How to ISFP's treat people they don't like/respect? Is she maybe harboring secret resentment, or does she just plain think herself better than me?

  2. #2
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by antigone View Post
    So, as much of an INFP as I am, I tend to speak a lot of abstract nonsensical things and randomness that SF types completely disregard or interrupt if they can help it.
    No kiddin'.

    I suppose what I'm asking is ... How to ISFP's treat people they don't like/respect?
    I try to avoid them if I can. If I'm forced to be around them, like they're at work or something, then I just make fun of them in my head.
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  3. #3
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    I try to avoid them if I can. If I'm forced to be around them, like they're at work or something, then I just make fun of them in my head.
    This. And I would NEVER sign an agreement to rent an apartment to live with someone I don't like.

    Quote Originally Posted by antigone View Post
    In social situations, she absolutely has to assert her dominance over me. She makes it clear that she is more capable than I am at everything. She'll bluntly be like, "... That doesn't make any sense" when I make a joke, frustrated obviously by my abstractness. She's very belittling ... And honestly, she must think I'm a total idiot if everything I say is so unimportant.

    Yet she's definitely not this way toward anyone else as far as I've noticed. Anyone she deems as "cool" is a complete exception, and she'll quickly throw herself at any joke or idea they conceive, anything they like ... Whereas my taste in just about everything sucks, apparently.
    Another thing, for me I don't care to dominate people in social situations but I am blunt and don't always realize that my comments can hurt.

    Could it be (1) you are sensitive to any perceived negative comment and (2) the ISFP in question may not realize that her comment are belittling and hurtful.

    You need to talk to her to clear up the air especially since you will be living with her.

  4. #4
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by antigone View Post
    Weirdly enough though, we've signed a lease on an apartment together.
    Yeah that is pretty weird and a recipe for disaster to enter into this type of essentially personal business relationship when there is a history suggesting emotional baggage. Well the choice is either sleep in your bed now that you made it or abandon ship. Understand that you too are most likely a part of the equation.

    You might want to appreciate your own dynamic which is a tendency to be a bit predisposed to being offended as well as not directly standing up for your rights. ISFPs can be great but they tend not to be at the top of the list when it comes to mind reading. Try and even the power dynamic more directly, don't dominate just dont allow yourself to become a doormat. I think when you are able to both even up the power dynamic and take what the ISFP says with a few more grains of salt you will be better able to evaluate the situation better on whether you should close the door on your ISFP.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

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  5. #5
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    ISFPs can be great but they tend not to be at the top of the list when it comes to mind reading.
    Someone actually tops that list? :confused:

  6. #6
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Typically, ISFP's require reason to be disrespectful or mistreat another. Typically, these reasons are deeming another person to have lower morality or a lower value system. She must feel like there is something you've done for her to behave this way towards you. However, I could be wrong. Also, are you positive she's an ISFP?

  7. #7
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    ^Agreed.. I really clamped down like this on an old friend of mine because he proved to be selfish and manipulative with people (long story not important). By virtue of him being in the same crowd, I still had to hang with him sometimes... but I couldn't bite my tongue. I'd get really...terse/cutting/shut out his ideas a bit..still showing that I didn't care for him to be around. It's been years now, so I tolerate him more if I see him.. but I remember being like this.

    Not saying you did anything, but if you're unsure, try to clear it up.

  8. #8
    Senior Member man's Avatar
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    I don't really actively dislike people, I'm busy enough as it is. I just won't make time for them.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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