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  1. #11
    Member Talisyn's Avatar
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    Wow, all some very interesting input. Husband and I got together long before I knew anything about MBTI, so we didn't know we were INFP and ISFP, only that we had a lot in common, common principles, & really wacky side. We've been together 10 years and there is occasional unrest, but for the most part things are great, even if not insanely exciting. I'd say the hardest part for me to understand is education- school, writing etc is was very easy for me, but sooo difficult for him. That and the fact that at 29 he is still interested in so many things he'd like to do "when he grows up" but can't settle on anything!
    I want to be alive To all the life that is in me now, to know each moment to the uttermost.
    (Khalil Gibran from Mary Haskell's Journal June 7, 1912.)

    "I'd rather die than live without Mercy and Love" - House of Heroes, Code Name Raven


    "I write/Slowly at first/Then the words come quicker/Slow in comparison/To my rapid thoughts/I fall silent/In awe of love"

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #12
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Don't have much recent experience, but from what I recall from dating an ISFP years ago:

    • ISFPs tend to be more present in the now, so can be helpful for INFPs (who can be so future-focused they miss the good stuff while it is happening).
    • ISFPs are even better at rationalizing than we INFPs... can be scary to see in action.
    • ISFPs are attuned to emotional nuance... makes for a great Fi connection and a sense of being understood emotionally.
    • ISFPs tend to be less tuned into theorizing and abstract arguments, so one can feel a little lonely intellectually, depending on how much your interests overlap.


    I ended having to be the "adult" with the ISFP I dated, so had to be the one to keep track of time, expenses, commitments and other practicalities; however, that could have been more about the individuals involved than type generalities.

    If my monologues tended to wander off into the abstract and theoretical, he could go into great detail about options and details about his hands-on projects. We were perfectly capable of boring each others with our interests (and how we talked about them) if we weren't careful.

    Still the physical and emotional connection was great. Also his hands-on "jump in and figure it out" approach was handy on occasion. I'd want to read up and prepare before I tried something, while he was more willing to jump in and figure it out himself.

    I'd say it can make for a great relationship, but does mean someone has to be willing shoulder the practicalities despite it not being a natural strength.

    Quote Originally Posted by Talisyn View Post
    I'd say the hardest part for me to understand is education- school, writing etc is was very easy for me, but sooo difficult for him. That and the fact that at 29 he is still interested in so many things he'd like to do "when he grows up" but can't settle on anything!
    The ISFP I dated (and still know) definitely struggled with school. He had severe test anxiety, and basically gave up on education by the time he reached high school. He managed to drift through high school and graduate, but had definitely checked out long before. He also has had a hard time finding a job (or career) that was both fulfilling and paid enough to live (not that that's an uncommon problem).

  3. #13
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seymour View Post
    Don't have much recent experience, but from what I recall from dating an ISFP years ago:

    • ISFPs tend to be more present in the now, so can be helpful for INFPs (who can be so future-focused they miss the good stuff while it is happening).
    • ISFPs are even better at rationalizing than we INFPs... can be scary to see in action.
    • ISFPs are attuned to emotional nuance... makes for a great Fi connection and a sense of being understood emotionally.
    • ISFPs tend to be less tuned into theorizing and abstract arguments, so one can feel a little lonely intellectually, depending on how much your interests overlap.


    I ended having to be the "adult" with the ISFP I dated, so had to be the one to keep track of time, expenses, commitments and other practicalities; however, that could have been more about the individuals involved than type generalities.

    If my monologues tended to wander off into the abstract and theoretical, he could go into great detail about options and details about his hands-on projects. We were perfectly capable of boring each others with our interests (and how we talked about them) if we weren't careful.

    Still the physical and emotional connection was great. Also his hands-on "jump in and figure it out" approach was handy on occasion. I'd want to read up and prepare before I tried something, while he was more willing to jump in and figure it out himself.

    I'd say it can make for a great relationship, but does mean someone has to be willing shoulder the practicalities despite it not being a natural strength.



    The ISFP I dated (and still know) definitely struggled with school. He had severe test anxiety, and basically gave up on education by the time he reached high school. He managed to drift through high school and graduate, but had definitely checked out long before. He also has had a hard time finding a job (or career) that was both fulfilling and paid enough to live (not that that's an uncommon problem).


    If I may say one thing on part of the ISFP... it's not that we are incapable of theorizing and abstract thinking, but rather when we're thinking about it... at least in my case, I go off into my own mind and toy with the ideas. I forget that I'm even in conversation and appear to float off into space with no response back to the person I'm "conversing" with. I DO THIS SOOOO OFTEN!

    I have a similar problem to your ISFP boyfriend, Talisyn. In my case, which I feel may be similar to other ISFP's, the problem is that I want to do something that is fulfilling in the sense that I would like to do something that is practical as well as satisfying my internal set of values. I don't want the executive job or waiting tables. I want something bigger! I want to do something where I'm helping, be it people, animals or the environment. To do anything outside of that seems pointless and a dead end. However, to achieve some of these jobs requires great academic achievement. And it's not that we're completely incapable, but rather find this difficult because we also prefer to live in the moment. It's a, "but if I go sit in class versus go to this music festival, can I truly say that I've lived?" We always prefer to satisfy our current needs versus future needs, because we want to feel like we're living and getting the most out of life. And if I'm feeling blue or a little depressed, as opposed to studying, I'll go to the bar or go for a car ride, or whatever it is I feel will make me feel better in that moment. However, I felt like my INFP boyfriend of the past helped keep me more grounded. I made far better grades and stayed much more focused while we were together. If you're able to keep these things in mind about him, you could help him achieve these things in life. Like I said, we're not incapable, but have feelings and senses we must satisfy before anything else can happen.

  4. #14
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    ISFP's FTW!!

    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

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