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[ISFP] ISFP: I don't get it.

paradox fox

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An acquaintance of mine is an ISFP. He has a really bizarre sense of humor. Whenever he does a funny, nonsense tumbles out of his mouth. English words, but totally random, non-sequitur stuff. He has a penchant for making awkward moments even more awkward, to try to get you to laugh.

He gives me this face a lot: o_O kind of a sidelong glance, a mix of "holy crap you're weird" and vague distrust, when I didn't even do anything weird. Unless me talking to him counts as being weird. Makes me feel totally uncomfortable and crappy when he gives me that look. But I guess that look is part of him being funny, because all the rest of his friends think it's funny when they get that look from him.

It's not like he's unpopular. He's got tons of friends all over the place. And they all think he's funny. As for me, I can only laugh at his shtick when he and his brother (IxTP) are together. They make an amazing comedy team.

I try to be friendly and nice to him, but I get the feeling like this guy just really does not like me at all. Had that feeling since we met 5 years ago. It's a really nasty feeling. And I've tried asking him why he doesn't like me or what I did, and he says there's nothing wrong. I feel like there's a username and password I have to login to in order to understand this guy, and everyone but me got the login instructions. I don't think he's intentionally being a jerk, but I just don't get it. :(

He's the only confirmed ISFP I know, and he's left kind of a bad taste in my mouth. I don't want to judge a whole group of people based on my experience with one individual, so.... I don't know.

Does any of that sound familiar?
 

ayoitsStepho

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I really don't think I can relate to the OP. I'm not really sure what it is though that you want to know either.

Though, maybe this guy just feels awkward around you? So that's why he acts that way? I'm really not sure.
 

paradox fox

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I guess what I'm asking is if you find yourself acting like my friend.
 

Jeffster

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Sometimes. I certainly say plenty of nonsense, and give people looks. I'm not sure what's bizarre about that. But if he says there's nothing wrong, then he probably means it. You're likely reading too much into him just goofing around. If he gets laughs from giving people "the look" then that's why he continues it. If you don't react the same way others do, he may see it as a challenge to try to crack you up too.

All of that is speculation cuz I dunno the dude, but it's at least semi-educated speculation.

But re-reading your description, I don't really see what the guy does that makes you have a "nasty feeling." Why would you have such strong feelings based on him saying nonsense and looking at you weird?
 

KDude

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umm.. how old is he?

i definitely don't think i'm like this now, but i used to do weird stuff when i was.... 12? even to strangers. sometimes me and a friend would walk around malls, and we'd dare each other to just walk up to someone and point with a crazy expression on our faces.. and then run away. :rolleyes:

they probably got that "nasty feeling" too, i bet :newwink:
 
B

brainheart

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OP- Maybe I behave this way? If it were the case, it would probably be if I am with someone who I like and I am unsure as to how they feel about me and I'm nervous and excited, or maybe because being around them makes me happy and so I kind of light up.

Or possibly it's because he knows you think he doesn't like you so it makes him act a little weirder. (Again the uncomfortable thing combined with the desire to diffuse any tension. I don't know about ISFPs in general but I like to be liked. If I'm feeling self-conscious and wanting to please, I can get odd.) Dunno.

My question is... why do you hang out with him if he makes you feel like crap? Me no understand... (kind of what you're saying and why you're saying, I guess)
 

OrangeAppled

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My ISFP step-dad likes to say weird, nonsensical stuff to get a reaction out of people, but it's usually harmless. If he doesn't joke with you like that & just makes a stream of rude, sarcastic jabs (many of which also do not make sense...I guess they do to him), then that means he does not like you (in that moment at least). That's pretty much how he treats me lately, because he's an ass & we're not getting along.
 

KDude

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Hmm.. to be a little more serious, it's really hard to say. I don't think I piss off many people these days or make them uncomfortable to begin with. If I detect they're introverted (even more than me), I'm polite. And as far as jokes go, I consider myself more of a laugher than a joker (12 yr old antics aside). About the only people I don't get along with are like.. drunk marine types or something. But I don't say anything to them. That's more like controlled tension.
 
B

brainheart

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Yeah OA and KD make good points. I can be seriously jerky sometimes with those I get bad feelings from. But it is extremely rare, and it generally involves copious amounts of alcohol.

Typically if I don't like someone I just don't talk to them, aside from the one-sentence social niceties.
 

paradox fox

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He's 20, my age. His circle of friends overlaps with mine, but he and I are not really buddies. Plus I see him every week at church, occasionally we work together, and that won't change unless one of us moves. The only time I like hanging out with him is when there's a group going swing dancing. He's an awesome dancer, and he doesn't talk while he dances. I don't go dancing very often though, it conflicts with my work schedule.

He never says anything mean. I just plain don't understand a word this guy says. That's all. I've given up talking to him unless absolutely necessary.

And I get that awful feeling whenever anyone at all gives me the o_O face. I get about as bothered by it as Jeffster gets annoyed when people read too much into things.
 

Jeffster

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Yeah OA and KD make good points.

Oh, so my points sucked then, is that what you're saying? ;)

You're right, though. I only mess with the people I like or respect, the people I can't stand I try to spend as little time around as possible.

He never says anything mean. I just plain don't understand a word this guy says. That's all. I've given up talking to him unless absolutely necessary.

And I get that awful feeling whenever anyone at all gives me the o_O face. I get about as bothered by it as Jeffster gets annoyed when people read too much into things.

Sounds like you've already solved your "problem" then. And there's probably nothing to "get" about him giving you a look. He just enjoys doing it. So, it's all good. Have some cake! :)
 

paradox fox

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Lol ok. I really don't know what I was expecting to hear, hehe
 

ayoitsStepho

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You're right, though. I only mess with the people I like or respect, the people I can't stand I try to spend as little time around as possible.

This. :)
 

wolfy

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Maybe he has the hots for you.

I don't know, I used to say nonsensical stuff for a laugh. But now not so much. I don't know about the looks, I'd need to take a look.

The most likely scenario is that he feels the tension and is using humour to try and break it. Ironically increasing the very thing he seeks to dissipate.

That'd be funny.
 

KDude

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I can't exactly remember what I was like at 20, but generally, I just speak gibberish/get tongue tied if I'm nervous or I'm expected to give a quick answer.. or if I'm excited and my mind's kind of moving too fast for my mouth.


Sounds like he has happy and joking with you though.. what exactly is he saying when he doesn't make sense? If you can remember. I don't think I'm that unintelligble sounding. Most people get where I'm coming from at least.
 
B

brainheart

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Oh, so my points sucked then, is that what you're saying? ;)

Oh, I didn't mean to offend thee... it's just your post was already, what, like three removed so I'd already forgotten about it. I'm sure it was excellent, though! :D

Yeah, Paradox, I am willing to wager that if this ISFP guy spends so much time hamming it up around you, chances are he thinks you're pretty ok. And I as well would like an example of his gibberish, cause I'm curious.
 

man

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No I don't speak gibberish because I'm not a dumbass!!!!
 
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