User Tag List

First 4567 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 63

  1. #51
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    595

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    I see nothing wrong with her response or her questioning herself. Look at what she says. "I always think I am justified in everything I do. But over time, it appears that I am not committed to anything." She is questioning herself based on how others see her. Right there is her consideration.
    I didn't see anything wrong with her questioning and reflections. It is good! She is realizing that commitment might be more important than she thought. I am trying to help SPs see the perspective of those who are possibly affected by their difficulty with commitment as a motivation to improve their attitude on the matter.
    Also, I am not sure shortnsweet is so concerned with others' perspectives, as much as seeing this might be causing her difficulties in her own life.

    I'm a type One Reformer. Don't see this as an attack, but as a wish to help the SP reach out for the best.

  2. #52
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    STP
    Posts
    10,501

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I agree, but the examples given were from a SP questioning herself, not from me. She declares "I always think I am justified in everything I do," but realizes there might something wrong with this because of the outcomes in her life. I thought this post was about helping SPs getting a better understanding of commitment, not justifying their behaviour.

    If being who you are causes people pain, you might want to consider improving your behaviour and having more consideration for the other person's side of the coin. You will only become a better person. Expecting the people you love to be their best is not disrespectful. On the contrary. But I believe in grace and unconditional love.
    No its not disrespectful, its all in the way you push them to become better. The way people push can be disrespectful to others.

    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I'm a type One Reformer. Don't see this as an attack, but as a wish to help the SP reach out for the best.
    accepted
    Im out, its been fun

  3. #53
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    595

    Default


  4. #54
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    STP
    Posts
    10,501

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    What makes you choose to commit to a person? What makes you decide that a person is worthy of your loyalty? I see SPs do commit to a few. A few.
    To answer this question, be yourself and I will make a decision if I want to commit based on that. I commit to people not to events, contracts, etc. If i do work to be ontime, be commited in these ways described, it is not for me, it is not to be a better person, it is for you. If you do not realize this and continue to push me for the purpose of becoming a better person I will not do it because I dont want it. Thats not the right way to push me. My goals are not to be a better person for myself, but for those that are around me. My goal for myself is to enjoy life. I will escape my goals for others, but I wont escape my goals for myself.
    Im out, its been fun

  5. #55
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    6,727

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I was thinking of commitment in friendship. How do you see it? Do you keep friends for a lifetime or only for a season?
    There's only one friend that I ever "dumped" so to speak, and I was in 5th grade at the time. I would love to keep friends for a lifetime. It doesn't seem to happen, though, outside of my family. It seems like people forget about me.

    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    If being who you are causes people pain, you might want to consider improving your behaviour and having more consideration for the other person's side of the coin. You will only become a better person. Expecting the people you love to be their best is not disrespectful. On the contrary. But I believe in grace and unconditional love.
    How do you know if one is "being their best?" And is it the right of any person to determine what that is for someone else? I agree that if a person finds themselves continually hurting others, then change is probably a good thing. But everybody's a little different, and aren't all hurt by the same things.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

    "I like the sigs with quotes in them from other forum members." -- Oberon

    The SP Spazz Youtube Channel

  6. #56
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    595

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    To answer this question, be yourself and I will make a decision if I want to commit based on that. I commit to people not to events, contracts, etc. If i do work to be ontime, be commited in these ways described, it is not for me, it is not to be a better person, it is for you. If you do not realize this and continue to push me for the purpose of becoming a better person I will not do it because I dont want it. Thats not the right way to push me. My goals are not to be a better person for myself, but for those that are around me. My goal for myself is to enjoy life. I will escape my goals for others, but I wont escape my goals for myself.
    This is very interesting.

    Being SP, you possibly read shortnsweet's first post more accurately than me. But I really thought she was seeing a problem in her own life, it didn't sound like she was worried about how others saw this.
    Reaching out for our best (something unique to each person) is something we do both for ourselves and others, in my opinion. If I am a better person, people I deal with will suffer less and my relationships will go smoothly. Everyone will profit.

  7. #57
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    595

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    How do you know if one is "being their best?" And is it the right of any person to determine what that is for someone else? I agree that if a person finds themselves continually hurting others, then change is probably a good thing. But everybody's a little different, and aren't all hurt by the same things.
    I agree.
    Being an idealist, I suppose I meant to reach out for a certain ideal of being trustworthy and committed, something that is greater than ourselves and that all can profit from. But you will say we all have different ideals. It's true.
    If shortnsweet decided to ponder on the issue of commitment and saw something that was not working quite well in her life, I thought she was seeing there was a better way to all this.

  8. #58
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Posts
    899

    Default

    Commitment is hard because once you start getting bored, you kind of start to slack and hope it goes away.

  9. #59
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    595

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rainne View Post
    Commitment is hard because once you start getting bored, you kind of start to slack and hope it goes away.
    What do you hope will go away? The boring element or the boredom?

    If the boring element is a person, this is where you must be careful not to make that person feel boring and disposable. I have had SPs making me feel like this. It's a hard blow for self-esteem. I suppose there are wise ways to deal with this boredom, since SPs refuse to put up with boredom. That must be challenging.

  10. #60
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    827 sp/so
    Posts
    20,122

    Default

    If I like a person I don't tend to get bored... I tend to be Committed, with a capital C... and I will work towards making things go well... I had an NF kick me in the teeth, so backwards of your story
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

Similar Threads

  1. [SP] Sp's and tactics.
    By ColonelGadaafi in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 03-17-2009, 05:47 AM
  2. [SP] SP's and Se.
    By Athenian200 in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 12-26-2008, 08:56 PM
  3. [SP] SP's and cheating
    By GirlAmerica in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 12-02-2007, 01:33 AM
  4. [MBTItm] NT Responsibility, SP enjoyment and own example
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 10-22-2007, 01:48 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO