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  1. #1
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Default ESFPs and Compulsive Social Lying

    I'm just making an observation so please don't take offense or feel like I am pointing fingers.

    It seems to be kind of a trend I've picked up on in the social atmosphere of human interaction. Compulsive lying to try to gain praise and appreciation from peers, or to suit/establish one's reputation. I've seen it especially in ESFPs.

    And after I realized what was going on, saw this whole thing being played out right in front of my nose, I was kind of put in a really awkward position. A position where I know they're lying but wouldn't have it in the life of me to call them out. Lies are annoying and make me lose trust, but I wouldn't want to ruin the goodness of a friendship in calling someone out and making them feel like a fool.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  2. #2
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    I feel EXACTLY the way you do too about ESFPs who have these qualities.

  3. #3
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    I'm just making an observation so please don't take offense or feel like I am pointing fingers.

    It seems to be kind of a trend I've picked up on in the social atmosphere of human interaction. Compulsive lying to try to gain praise and appreciation from peers, or to suit/establish one's reputation. I've seen it especially in ESFPs.

    And after I realized what was going on, saw this whole thing being played out right in front of my nose, I was kind of put in a really awkward position. A position where I know they're lying but wouldn't have it in the life of me to call them out. Lies are annoying and make me lose trust, but I wouldn't want to ruin the goodness of a friendship in calling someone out and making them feel like a fool.
    If there is anyone who wants praise and appreciation from peers, it's the ESFP.
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Ming's Avatar
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    That's true, I agree with you. (See the irony in there? )

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    I'm just making an observation so please don't take offense or feel like I am pointing fingers.

    It seems to be kind of a trend I've picked up on in the social atmosphere of human interaction. Compulsive lying to try to gain praise and appreciation from peers, or to suit/establish one's reputation. I've seen it especially in ESFPs.

    And after I realized what was going on, saw this whole thing being played out right in front of my nose, I was kind of put in a really awkward position. A position where I know they're lying but wouldn't have it in the life of me to call them out. Lies are annoying and make me lose trust, but I wouldn't want to ruin the goodness of a friendship in calling someone out and making them feel like a fool.
    Hate to break it to you but I've never met someone who hasn't lied, including myself. There are even tiny factual discrepancies with professional acting performances. It doesn't bother me personally, because the truth never changes regardless. I think people lie and deceive for fear of the truth, and the way that is resolved is personal conviction between each person and God. In my experience, it is for our own good to live with honesty so that pain caused by wrongdoing is not hidden away. It sure makes life simpler too.

  6. #6
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Most ESFPs are enneagram 3's, and this is basically how you identify them. (Trying to look good to their peers, so the unhealthy ones would lie)
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  7. #7
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    I know one ESFP and I can't stand her. She's manipulative and creates drama with every breath she takes. She and I were friends thru a mutual friend but I'm not friends with either of them anymore. And I'm never going to be friends with her again. She's just a ridiculous person and idk why anyone would want to be around her for the long haul. In the short term, I guess she's fun to be around, but holy crap. Don't get involved with her at all.

    Idk any other ESFPs, so she's all I have as a reference point. I'm sure there are good, healthy ones that aren't retarded and make me hate people. She, however, is a waste of natural resources, most importantly oxygen and food that could go to starving kids in the 3rd world.

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    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    ...lying about what?

  9. #9
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I'm hesitant to say something wholesale about the type, but I do see trends, even among my kids. This is sort of a big issue we've had with our ESFP kid -- the need for drama, the need to be liked, the desire to get what he wants and/or feed his need, the desire to avoid negative experiences... well, because of that, he tends to bend the truth a lot, and I'm surprised sometimes the truth does not break. At this worst times, he can rival Bill Clinton's legendary Truthbender nature.

    Fortunately, the older he gets, the more mature he gets; but he seems to have had more trouble with this than our other two kids who seem to be more willing to acknowledge reality and more easily think about the impact of their words and actions on others and "owning up."
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LuckyNoLimits View Post
    Hate to break it to you but I've never met someone who hasn't lied, including myself. There are even tiny factual discrepancies with professional acting performances. It doesn't bother me personally, because the truth never changes regardless. I think people lie and deceive for fear of the truth, and the way that is resolved is personal conviction between each person and God. In my experience, it is for our own good to live with honesty so that pain caused by wrongdoing is not hidden away. It sure makes life simpler too.
    I agree totally. But what I'm bringing up is how when they are obviously lying. And they do it so frequently you really don't know what's true and what's not true. There's a fine line between casually lying once and a while like most people do, and deliberately making up stories and events for social acclaim and reputation.

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Most ESFPs are enneagram 3's, and this is basically how you identify them. (Trying to look good to their peers, so the unhealthy ones would lie)
    Totally agree, I really hadn't dragged enneagram into the light but briefing over the type description really fits.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa View Post
    ...lying about what?
    For example, the person I have in mind is a real funny man. He'll make up hilarious stories that make you laugh and people think he's hilarious. He is though, and I love him, but what I'm remarking at is that the longer I hear them, and put a few pieces together in my head, the more I come to believe that it's all an act..not real. And it makes sense.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

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