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  1. #1
    ..... Intricate Mystic's Avatar
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    Default ISTPs- shared activities with romantic interests

    Sharing a common activity or hobby with others seems to be an important source of gratification for ISTPs. In an ideal life, what activities or hobbies would you like to be able to share with people you are in a relationship with?

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    I am Sofa King!!! kendoiwan's Avatar
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    The answer you are about to receive in one form or another is "whatever I'm/they are into"
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ml#post1161526

    "They the type of cats who pollute the whole shoreline. Have it purified. Sell it for a $1.25"

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    kendoiwan nailed it.

    Finding myself sharing an activity with someone, I sense doesn't really enjoy an activity for the sake of the activity. Now that's a big drag.

    I'd rather have one activity in common to share, the other person enjoys just as much as I do...vs.

    Doing something one loves and sharing the experience with someone you love is a beautiful thing. Those moments are the ones that build a relationship for me more than any type of intimate communication ever could.

    In my early twenties, what kicked off a relationship that grew to the point of becoming engaged? A big group of male and female friends, out water rafting for a day. It was the way she enjoyed and had a natural affinity for the activity itself.

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    I am Sofa King!!! kendoiwan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    Finding myself sharing an activity with someone, I sense doesn't really enjoy an activity for the sake of the activity. Now that's a big drag.
    Exactly. A: it ruins the fun for you. Or vice-versa. B: you find yourself wondering "what's wrong with you that you don't enjoy this". Or "what's wrong with them for liking this." Not exactly a bonding experience.
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ml#post1161526

    "They the type of cats who pollute the whole shoreline. Have it purified. Sell it for a $1.25"

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    ..... Intricate Mystic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    kendoiwan nailed it.

    Finding myself sharing an activity with someone, I sense doesn't really enjoy an activity for the sake of the activity. Now that's a big drag.

    I'd rather have one activity in common to share, the other person enjoys just as much as I do...vs.

    Doing something one loves and sharing the experience with someone you love is a beautiful thing. Those moments are the ones that build a relationship for me more than any type of intimate communication ever could.

    In my early twenties, what kicked off a relationship that grew to the point of becoming engaged? A big group of male and female friends, out water rafting for a day. It was the way she enjoyed and had a natural affinity for the activity itself.
    So just having one activity in common would be enough? What if you started out having a mutual enjoyment of a particular activity, but over time, for various reasons, one of you no longer enjoyed it? If you build a relationship on shared interests, and one or both of you change your interests over time and they no longer intersect, what then?

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    Senior Member Heinel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    So just having one activity in common would be enough? What if you started out having a mutual enjoyment of a particular activity, but over time, for various reasons, one of you no longer enjoyed it? If you build a relationship on shared interests, and one or both of you change your interests over time and they no longer intersect, what then?
    Fall back on sex, or try something neither of you have tried before until something clicks?
    Check out my blog: http://OrnateRitual.com

  7. #7
    I am Sofa King!!! kendoiwan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    So just having one activity in common would be enough? What if you started out having a mutual enjoyment of a particular activity, but over time, for various reasons, one of you no longer enjoyed it? If you build a relationship on shared interests, and one or both of you change your interests over time and they no longer intersect, what then?
    As a rule, we like what we like, and we always will like what we like. So in all likelihood it would be you doing the changing. I don't know what to tell you about that.
    For example, one of my hobbies is chess, I'll never not play chess, so if you once upon a time played chess with me and for whatever reason stop enjoying chess, I wouldn't know what to tell you.
    If your asking, "how would I take that?", it would depend on how important you sharing that particular activity is to me.
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ml#post1161526

    "They the type of cats who pollute the whole shoreline. Have it purified. Sell it for a $1.25"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    So just having one activity in common would be enough? What if you started out having a mutual enjoyment of a particular activity, but over time, for various reasons, one of you no longer enjoyed it? If you build a relationship on shared interests, and one or both of you change your interests over time and they no longer intersect, what then?
    When that happens I always try to figure out something to do...or something new to try. Like hey, would you like to go for a walk or bike ride in the park? Maybe go ride some horses? Play some pool? Pick out something we can cook together? Doesn't have to be the same activity all the time, just so long as there is one.

    With my oldest ISTP friend, we lifted weights at lunch almost everyday for about three years. Played golf every other weekend. Eventually my job location changed, but we'd always encourage each other with getting back into weights or running...after months of individually loosing "sustained effort" over the years.

    After five years we were both tired of golf. Got into dirt bikes and motorcross, would meet up to play pool on a weeknight about every other week. He and his wife moved to another city, and it's kind of funny I'm wanting to play golf again...and he's been thinking recently about getting back out there too.

    Other activities we'd done over time: Water-skiing, tubing, swimming, biking, hiking, bowling, sports event, concert, building PC's, swing sets, remodling projects, helping each other move, car repairs, car shows, video games, drinking more than a few beers, double dating, playing guitar, talking about/listening to music, grilling out, chillin' at a bar, watching "Fight Club", getting pissed as hell at each other and arguing. :steam:

    After my friend got married, he was always looking for activities to share with his wife. Bought them both bikes. Later a little golf. Bought her a dirt bike. Those interest didn't seem to sustain for very long? Like she'd come along with us a time or two, but some of the activities just didn't seem to be a good fit for what she liked to do? I thought it was awesome that she would try, and did amazingly well with a dirt bike. Just wasn't her thing.

    So I think the variety of things she's willing to try, in addition to what they go do...keeps him happy.

    Most of my other friends, there'd usually only be one or two activities shared in common max. Only the STP's whether E or I seemed more ready to go and do. Or maybe "click" enough to get the common activity/interest sequence started.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kendoiwan View Post
    As a rule, we like what we like, and we always will like what we like. So in all likelihood it would be you doing the changing. I don't know what to tell you about that.
    For example, one of my hobbies is chess, I'll never not play chess, so if you once upon a time played chess with me and for whatever reason stop enjoying chess, I wouldn't know what to tell you.
    If your asking, "how would I take that?", it would depend on how important you sharing that particular activity is to me.
    Chess is something I've always enjoyed too. I don't get to play anymore in that I don't know people who play...and playing a computer just isn't the same level of satisfaction for me.

    One of my ISTP friends had a chess set. Which I discovered upon an occassion we were just drinking and playing guitar. So he pulled the board out and we commenced to play.

    Before the first piece was moved, I looked at him and said that I'd checkmate him in less than seven moves. He laughed at that concept.

    Suddenly "I say well in less than five then..." Dudes like, "What?"

    Check Mate!

    My buddy was so quietly pissed as he instantly cleared the board, I knew that he'd never want to play me again. And we haven't since.

    So yes I still like the game, but haven't played in years.

  10. #10
    ..... Intricate Mystic's Avatar
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    Thank you so very much for your answers. They have been of immeasurable help, and made me realize that I need to be with an ISTP that I share common interests with.

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