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Thread: ESTJ confused by ESFP friend

  1. #31
    Senior Member Array KDude's Avatar
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    Jan 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    well, maybe they've decided that they don't want to open up to you. We choose our close friends very selectively, and keep everyone else at a reasonable distance. So that lack of understanding isn't your fault at all.
    Bummer. I've known him since I was 9. Perhaps an off-on friendship, but still.

    Not that I demand people open up or anything.. I value it, but I don't expect it (in most cases, people do that with me anyways, without asking).

    Thanks for the rest of the post btw

  2. #32
    Senior Member Array ilovereeses's Avatar
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    Dec 2009


    Sounds a lot like my close ESFP friend. About 2 years ago (when she was 15) she was just like your friend: socially awkward, lonely, selfish, etc.

    This was mainly because many of her friends that were girls had left her. She just wanted someone to feel her pain with her and understand what she was going through. Whenever we talked, it always ended up returning to the subject of how terrible she felt and that someone had wronged her. She couldn't relieve herself from the awful feeling of being isolated or disliked. She had to talk about it all the time. And I didn't necessarily have a problem with it, I enjoyed listening and helping her out. It did make her seem selfish though since she never seemed to ask about my life.

    But, whenever I did bring up something about my life she would listen intently to every detail I said. She truly cared about my problems as well as hers, she just didn't know I had them until I brought them up because she was so consumed in her own.

    Eventually, after she got more friends and her confidence back, she became more aware of me, asking how I was doing and such. Her friends and family seem to be the center of her life, and so when it was disturbed...she kinda became a wreck.
    Last edited by ilovereeses; 05-05-2010 at 02:02 PM.
    eNFP 9w8 sx/sp

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