[MBTI General] 21 year old dating 18 year old?

[Thalassa]

This is a joke, right?

Even I thought that.

 

[OrangeAppled]

It's charming you have given this so much thought, but the age gap is relatively small & she is of legal age. It seems fine to me. Given the time of year, I imagine their HS days are nearly over anyway.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

I didn't think it was a joke, but I am genuinely shocked that anyone might consider this unsavory. It's only three years' difference between adults. If you end a relationship over this issue, you might come to regret it when you're a few years older and realize how little difference this makes.

 

[Ivy]

Yeah if she's a senior, school's out in like a month or two anyway.

 

[Zarathustra]

I've read nothing but part of the OP, but here's the rule:

Divide by 2, plus 7.

Once you're old enough to bone, this golden rule works pretty much all the time.

14? 14.

18? 16.

22? 18.

30? 22.

40? 27.

See, it works.

It's God's math.

 

[Forever_Jung]

I've read nothing but part of the OP, but here's the rule:

Divide by 2, plus 7.

Once you're old enough to bone, this golden rule works pretty much all the time.

14? 14.

18? 16.

22? 18.

30? 22.

40? 27.

See, it works.

It's God's math.

haha, I told him that! Isn't it a great rule?

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

The age gap doesn't seem that bad. Anyway. Sorry for being the SP who says "do what feels best" but.....

Pick which one you feel the closest connection to and continue. If the age thing is a big deal for you - which I understand - then don't make it "official". Keep your options open. Play the shit by ear until a clear front runner is apparent. Be honest but be true to yourself and your wants.

 

[Thalassa]

I've read nothing but part of the OP, but here's the rule:

Divide by 2, plus 7.

Once you're old enough to bone, this golden rule works pretty much all the time.

14? 14.

18? 16.

22? 18.

30? 22.

40? 27.

See, it works.

It's God's math.

This is awesome!

 

[CzeCze]

18 and 21 don't sound so bad on paper. Especially when you are in your golden years looking back on your youth. 30 and 18 or even 30 and 21 sound worse.

But I remember when I was back in college and thought it was strange that people in college were dating high schoolers. It just seemed like a very significant demarcation college/highschool. There was a 22 year old woman I worked with and she was so depressed after breaking up with her pot dealing high school senior boyfriend that she cut off her hair (she was ENTP). I remember thinking "man, what a loser". Perhaps judgemental, but true. I didn't like her to being with so that probably had something to do with it.

But, the older you get the less of a difference those 3 years seem to make.

 

[Roach]

E: I wanted to post the formula

 

[sammy]

Go for it. Make sure they're 18 like was previous mentioned. Just be ready for one of them to fall in love with you. 18 year old girls going straight to college are unpredictable and likely to change over time. Feed them enough, water every day, and you should be okay.

Are you even looking for something long term? Be sure you're clear about intentions with them from the get go if you want to prevent future HUGE issues.

And if you want to prevent issues like you used to have about sexual relations, then I would recommend making sure that's not all they're after. You're not a peace of meat!

 

[Unique]

lol America

I went for a 16yr old when I was 18, same diff

I'm also almost 21 now and wouldn't hesitate a moment on an 18 yr old if I actually liked them

Maturity is relative... a lot of older people are jaded

 

[Laurie]

But I remember when I was back in college and thought it was strange that people in college were dating high schoolers. It just seemed like a very significant demarcation college/highschool.

When I was dating my husband and he was in college I didn't realize that it might look weird to the people he was going to college with. If you stuck with it that would pretty much mean a freshman in college could only date the same age or older. I must say I don't know what I would think of my 16 year old dating a 19 year old but it worked out fine for us. I wouldn't suggest having sex with a minor though, that's where he would have gotten burned.

With that story I'm sure you can imagine that 18 and 21 doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

 

[tinker683]

It's legal, and if you like her...go for it!

My last great big crush is 20 (almost 21) and I'm 26 (almost 27) and I doubt anyone would object to our age gap so I don't see why yours would be a problem.

 

[Grungemouse]

When I was 18 I dated a 21 year old and a 23 year old. Not at the same time, obviously. As long as you're straightforward about what you want out of the relationship, I don't see the issue here.

 

[countrygirl]

The age gap doesn't seem that bad. Anyway. Sorry for being the SP who says "do what feels best" but.....

Pick which one you feel the closest connection to and continue. If the age thing is a big deal for you - which I understand - then don't make it "official". Keep your options open. Play the shit by ear until a clear front runner is apparent. Be honest but be true to yourself and your wants.

+1

 

[Randomnity]

She's 18 and you're within a few years, totally fine.

Though you may (or may not) find her appallingly immature when you get to know her better, which is fine.

 

[Haphazard]

I honestly don't see why this is a problem? It's only a 3-year age difference, and school is almost over for the year.

Then again, my parents have a 10-year age difference...

 

[Ivy]

I suspect if she were 18 and not in high school there wouldn't even be a question.

When I met my husband I was 17 and he was 20. However, I had been in college already for a couple of years so he never had to wonder if it was okay for him to date a high school girl.

 

[IZthe411]

it's a 3 year difference

The funny thing is it's a big difference when you're 21 and she's 18, but later when you're, let's say 29, and she's 26, it's not.

You're right women mature much faster. Go for it.