[ISFP] ISFP Ladies

[ayoitsStepho]

It is a deep need to just disappear in one's inner world. The freedom is about not being responsible for anything or anyone. If this is not met, for me, I can get very snarly and begin to push people away even my children. My husband usually recognizes this and takes the kids for the day so I can have my space. One of the reasons why I love my husband deeply.

The more you can give this to her when she needs it and not take it personally, the more she will come back to you with loving arms.

Yes yes yes! Have I ever told you that it's like you're living in my head?

 

[countrygirl]

....With introversion you have a person who finds interaction draining after while, hence the need to withdraw. Then you have the SP's desire for freedom and independence in enjoying the moment.... SFP types in particular love to experience their current emotions and have the freedom to express/act on them....As my own ISFP says: "I need me time. To feel like myself again."

That's quite accurate. The 'me time' or 'alone time' is very important for balance.

 

[countrygirl]

So how long does it take an ISFP female to recognize her ways and be able to express that to her SO? If she's hot and cold, I think she should tell this to her dude.

I never knew that it came across hot and cold until now. And I've been married for 7 years.

 

[countrygirl]

Yes yes yes! Have I ever told you that it's like you're living in my head?

Have I ever told you that I wanted to learn to belly dance?

 

[Clonester]

My ISFP girlfriend is like this. There are days when she's all lovey-dovey and affectionate, and then the next few days I'll get nothing.... Hence, the partner is given this impression of a "hot and cold" lover; the ISFP will be focused on you one moment, then something else the next. Just try not to take it personally, or better yet, find something to distract yourself. When my girlfriend is having her "cold" days, I take the time to do my own thing.

That's exactly what I find. I'm trying my best not to take it personally, I just over think things sometimes (err, well, all the time...). Now that I'm getting to know and understand her better, I'll just take things as they come. It's funny after a day or two of the "cold" she's back to her caring self, calling me up and wanting to hang out.

It is a deep need to just disappear in one's inner world. The freedom is about not being responsible for anything or anyone. If this is not met, for me, I can get very snarly and begin to push people away even my children. My husband usually recognizes this and takes the kids for the day so I can have my space. One of the reasons why I love my husband deeply.

The more you can give this to her when she needs it and not take it personally, the more she will come back to you with loving arms.

Good to know. This is very different from myself, so it's great to see it from an ISFP point of view.

Well, for myself, I NEED my personal space. I make sure to inform the guys that I've dated, that I need a moment to go away without a phone call or something interrupting me. If I don't get this, then I will not like you after awhile. It's happened on a couple of occasions where this wish had no value to the guys I was with and I ended up being revolted by them and having to break everything off. Once my feelings for someone is gone, it never comes back. So it's very important I get my space. I make darn sure to let the guys in my life know this.

I can be the most lovable, most cuddly, but if I don't get my space everyone once in a while, I become cold.

Hmm... note to self... give her space...

Thanks a million guys for this! This hot/cold thing made me think before that things weren't going so well when I had a hundred reasons to know they were. But lately I've realized there's something more to it, that it's part of who she is. And this confirms it. So I'll just accept it as long as it's not a big issue, and communicate when necessary.

For the record, I'm officially part of the ISFP fanclub. I ISFP's. Especially one in particular...

 

[ayoitsStepho]

Well I ENFPs.

 

[countrygirl]

However, if it really bothers you, you can always say something. If she really likes you, she will happily come to a compromise. You should allow her some space, but the relationship shouldn't be based entirely on her "need to live in the moment". Not if you're both serious about eachother.

I would like to add that of course we ISFP would like to compromise but when there is nothing left to give because there was not enough alone time, then usually there will be some sort of emotional shutting down.

 

[Clonester]

Well I ENFPs.

Speaking of which, how do ENFP's come across to ISFP's? The good and the bad, of course.

 

[ayoitsStepho]

Speaking of which, how do ENFP's come across to ISFP's? The good and the bad, of course.

Well, I dated an ENFP guy for 2 months. I fell for his charm, but so did every girl that came across his path. He was so wooed by the other girls' attention that he'd neglect me and go out with other girls. This is the only guy that never gave me the attention I needed, and it upset me deeply. I'd have to say that he was the only one that had my heart, but he just didn't know what to do with it.

I loved his charm. He was always the center of attention and always had the girls wooing over him with his good looks and his sense of humor. He was intense about everything he did, and came across as a very deep individual. Unfortunately, his depth was just an illusion.

Him and his best friend were both ENFPs. His friend had ADHD and I wanted to hate him so much because he just wouldn't stop moving or talking or ANYTHING! He was so immature, but still had girls wooing over him too, lol.

So over all, I love ENFPs. But there's a place and time for me, with the intensity they give off. I'm just horrible because I can't keep up with them.

 

[Kasper]

ISFPs:

 

[stellar renegade]

HOLLA BACK NOW

All the ISFP girls meet me in my spa-sized bathtub in ten minutes. Jack Daniels and Mr. Bubbles will both be present.
ornstar:
Oh, and ISTP girls are invited, too.

 

[A window to the soul]

All the ISFP girls meet me in my spa-sized bathtub in ten minutes. Jack Daniels and Mr. Bubbles will both be present.
Oh, and ISTP girls are invited, too.

**sniffles**

 

[stellar renegade]

**sniffles**

*twists your N into a funky-looking S really fast*

You're good, babe. Will you let me come on in?

 

[ayoitsStepho]

Way to make us feel special, inviting every type of girl. I see how it is .

 

[stellar renegade]

Way to make us feel special, inviting every type of girl. I see how it is .

Oh, believe me. You ISFP babes will all get plenty of time with me to yourselves. That's what the VIP room is for.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

I appreciate the love . (It's about time! )

What do I find attractive in a guy? That's kind of difficult for me to really say because the guys that I've been attracted to have been kind of random in interests and features.
I do want a fun guy though. Someone who doesn't take life so seriously that he doesn't know how to relax and have a good time. I personally have an affinity to outgoing guys because, from my experience, they really bring me out of my shell and allow me to have fun as well. Idk, I really liked what Raine wrote about showing emotions in a practical way:


I've never really been one whose hearts been captured by someone writing me a song or trying to romance me in a way that seems fit for only television. Just be yourself and involve me in the adventures you're going to partake in and I'm hooked.

I LOVE dates that get me involved outside! Let's go to an amusement park, have a picnic (during the day or at night), riding bikes, ect. I value dates that allow me to see the guy in a better light, when he can be a bit more relaxed and enjoying himself. Personally, I hate going to see movies or strictly going out to dinner. Those are really awkward, sit still kind of environments that I just don't care for. Let's just do something active and fun! Heck, I'd be thrilled to play tag on a date, really.

If you have any other questions, feel free to ask.

Completely agreed. Us ISFP's like to feel adventure and play like we're still children. This is why I dated an ESFP and an ESFJ in the past. They were always on the move, always doing something different, and especially the ESFP boyfriend that I had... we went on canoe trips a few times, hiking... some of our first dates were just going for walks around campus, climbing trees, walking around the neighborhood... going for drives and finding random spots to sit and talk or listen to music. I really valued those qualities and the type of dates we went on in him. And he was always very funny and would go completely out of his way to make sure I was having a good time, which of course made me feel special and cared about.

I like that the overall advice that I am getting is "just be yourself." There are a lot of people who pretend so much in a first date, which, inevitably, leads to disapointment. Frankly, I am just tired of girls talking themselves up to get in my pants . But seriously, I appreciate the advice! I will stray away from corny serenades outside at 3 AM for now...

Yes! ISFP's are typically pretty accurate in their thoughts of others. We are observers. We can tell when someone is being fake. When it comes to boyfriends or just friends, I prefer to surround myself with people that keep it real. And it's not that we don't like romance, or dinner dates or movies... but just that in order to truly catch our attention, we need action and adventure and fun.

One thing that I find very different from me is the ISFP girl I've been dating very much has a need to pull back once in a while and she needs her space. Sometimes we're so close and she's so warm and caring and then the next time she might be a bit withdrawn and need some space. I know the ISFP need for freedom is mentioned in MBTI descriptions, but can an ISFP explain why to me? I'm not sure I fully understand this part of her yet.

Grungemouse hit right on target. We do indeed need "me" time in order to feel like ourselves. I don't know if other ISFP's feel this way as well... but sometimes I feel like constant interaction with others makes me lose who I am. I start to forget who I am. It is true, sometimes this alone time takes the form of sleeping or playing video games... and other times, especially when we're allowed plenty of alone time to where we feel well rested... we can tap into our more creative and expressive sides as well. After dating my last boyfriend, whom was an extreme extrovert and did not understand my definition of "i need space!" I took about two months of lazy-ing around before I finally began to draw, read, write, etc again. He really drained me! Hence why we aren't together anymore. I warned him for a couple of months before I finally broke up with him. And also, by that time, I had no remorse. We highly value our independence. It's vital to our health!


We definitely need lovers that can and want to keep up with our adventurous/fun side, but who also desires their own alone time. My experience so far with extroverts, though fun, have turned out very ugly...

 

[Clonester]

Update from previous posts: Forget the hot and cold thing a bit in my case. That was apparently due to something else which has since been resolved. However my ISFP still has a need for some down time and time to be independent. This is very true. Funny enough, there will be a day where I attempt to give her space, not call her, etc. and then SHE calls ME and we have a big chat. Or a day when she seems totally burnt out and I assume she'd want to stay at home and rest, but then she'll go out with her friends and stay out late. But I know her well enough now and how she's different than me to appreciate these things and recognize when she needs her space and independence.

Apart from that, she's such a warm, caring, sweet person. The past couple months have been amazing. There are a lot of things that work really well between us. I like to go out and do things and be active, and she is a willing participant. I like to create art and music and write songs, and she likes to experience what I create. She likes to talk, and I like to listen. We don't have those intuitive conversations, and she doesn't really have a desire to understand what makes me tick in the same way I do her, but we still have great conversations and communicate our values well. And we're both close, caring people. Me in a responsible, protective way, and her in a nurturing, bonding way. We appreciate this in each other.

 

[countrygirl]

....Yes! ISFP's are typically pretty accurate in their thoughts of others. We are observers. We can tell when someone is being fake. When it comes to boyfriends or just friends, I prefer to surround myself with people that keep it real. And it's not that we don't like romance, or dinner dates or movies... but just that in order to truly catch our attention, we need action and adventure and fun. .....

We definitely need lovers that can and want to keep up with our adventurous/fun side, but who also desires their own alone time. My experience so far with extroverts, though fun, have turned out very ugly...

I can lose myself reading to many post!

Regarding the bolded, this is what I love about my ISTP husband. We were actually discussing this the other day, that we give each other space and that we are not demanding on each other. As for the fun/adventurous...we do what we can with children, mortgage, up keeping the house, etc.

@ Clonester: That sounds wonderful!

 

[miss fortune]

All the ISFP girls meet me in my spa-sized bathtub in ten minutes. Jack Daniels and Mr. Bubbles will both be present.
ornstar:
Oh, and ISTP girls are invited, too.

fine... I see... the ESxP chicks don't matter

not that I'd show up anyways... I don't like Jack and am allergic to Mr Bubbles

I should probably hand in my ESTP card for that statement

 

[Sunny Ghost]

Update from previous posts: Forget the hot and cold thing a bit in my case. That was apparently due to something else which has since been resolved. However my ISFP still has a need for some down time and time to be independent. This is very true. Funny enough, there will be a day where I attempt to give her space, not call her, etc. and then SHE calls ME and we have a big chat. Or a day when she seems totally burnt out and I assume she'd want to stay at home and rest, but then she'll go out with her friends and stay out late. But I know her well enough now and how she's different than me to appreciate these things and recognize when she needs her space and independence.

Apart from that, she's such a warm, caring, sweet person. The past couple months have been amazing. There are a lot of things that work really well between us. I like to go out and do things and be active, and she is a willing participant. I like to create art and music and write songs, and she likes to experience what I create. She likes to talk, and I like to listen. We don't have those intuitive conversations, and she doesn't really have a desire to understand what makes me tick in the same way I do her, but we still have great conversations and communicate our values well. And we're both close, caring people. Me in a responsible, protective way, and her in a nurturing, bonding way. We appreciate this in each other.

Awe. It is hard for us ISFP's to find mates that match well with our temperament. You guy's both sound very lucky to have one another.

Oh yes, Countrygirl. I think this is why the INFP I dated turned out to be my first and only love thus far in life. I'm still young, so I'm hoping I'll eventually love again. But... I don't even know of any prospects. Every guy I know or have met is just too involved in the social networks. And like I mentioned earlier, the last time I dated an extrovert... he had absolute no concept or understanding of the fact that I NEED MY SPACE, OR I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU!! :workout: It turned out very ugly in the end. I began lashing out at him. But with the INFP ex, we dated for four years. We both allowed each other plenty of space, while still being able to give the other the support and care and love we each needed. There was never any question or doubt of love. And we both loved being able to go on the occasional adventure here and there. However, I had the tendency to be a bit more social and impulsive than him. That's where we often would clash.
Maybe I need to find myself a nice ISTP... However, I'd worry he'd be too concrete and unimaginative. Which extroverted types also value independence or alone time? Any? I do gush over those introverted boys...