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  1. #81
    I am Sofa King!!! kendoiwan's Avatar
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    Yup.
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ml#post1161526

    "They the type of cats who pollute the whole shoreline. Have it purified. Sell it for a $1.25"

  2. #82
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    ^ yup, definitely...but probably for the best. I can't imagine a situation like that working out well.
    -end of thread-

  3. #83
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    Fear isnt the way to get me to do anything. I will respond, but I will always get past my fears. I dont like being controlled by my fears.
    Im out, its been fun

  4. #84
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lalangela View Post
    He did benefit me, but I guess I had trouble showing him that I wasn't validating my emotional attachment. Was it wrong for me to call him out on a past relationship when those things hadn't happened with us (yet) ?
    Yeah. Don't bring up accusations like that when things haven't even happened yet. Actions speak a lot louder than words.

  5. #85
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lalangela View Post
    I broke it off with my ISTP a few days ago. His ex contacted me and forwarded me a few emails that he had been sending to her. They were friendly emails to "catch up," but she claimed that he had done this with his ex while dating her also. She said it was his way of getting close to her which is completely unacceptable because he was in a relationship. Then, she took the time to convince me on the phone that he had treated her horribly the one year that they were together.

    I confronted the ISTP, and believed him when he said that they were just friendly emails. I even saw them myself and there was nothing wrong. However, being the ENFJ that I am, I overreacted and started questioning his past relationship. I tried to be understanding but I lost it when he said that his ex and I are eerily similar and that he didn't feel any different this time around. In other words, I would go through the same thing because he doesn't change for anyone.

    Problem is that I had changed for him, I became more accepting of his habits which included disappearing for a few days to be by himself. I made his shortcomings work for me. To this, he answered that I was overlooking his flaws and this gave him the idea that he could do "whatever the fuck I wanted." He said he was looking for someone who would threaten to leave him if he ever fucked something up. Is something that all ISTPs look for in relationships?
    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    ....In other words, someone who will look out for their own needs and keep the ISTP in check with notification that their behavior is undesirable?
    I don't understand this. What are you, his mother? Why do you have to be his conscious?

    Quote Originally Posted by lalangela View Post
    He did benefit me, but I guess I had trouble showing him that I wasn't validating my emotional attachment. Was it wrong for me to call him out on a past relationship when those things hadn't happened with us (yet) ?
    It's not good in any relationship.

  6. #86
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    I prefer it very much if people tell me what I'm doing wrong or if something I'm doing is bothering them. I seriously may never know otherwise. The more calmly I'm confronted about it, the more favorably I respond. Although I respond as well as I can no matter what, I just might be a little more stressed out if I'm attacked with a flurry of emotions.

    But yeah, I don't tolerate threats well. At all. It flicks on my stubborn switch. And I'm not proud to say I've damaged relationships further by just up and walking away without looking back when I'm threatened past a certain point.
    I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.

  7. #87
    Member woolgatherer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lalangela View Post
    I broke it off with my ISTP a few days ago. His ex contacted me and forwarded me a few emails that he had been sending to her. They were friendly emails to "catch up," but she claimed that he had done this with his ex while dating her also. She said it was his way of getting close to her which is completely unacceptable because he was in a relationship. Then, she took the time to convince me on the phone that he had treated her horribly the one year that they were together.

    I confronted the ISTP, and believed him when he said that they were just friendly emails. I even saw them myself and there was nothing wrong. However, being the ENFJ that I am, I overreacted and started questioning his past relationship. I tried to be understanding but I lost it when he said that his ex and I are eerily similar and that he didn't feel any different this time around. In other words, I would go through the same thing because he doesn't change for anyone.

    Problem is that I had changed for him, I became more accepting of his habits which included disappearing for a few days to be by himself. I made his shortcomings work for me. To this, he answered that I was overlooking his flaws and this gave him the idea that he could do "whatever the fuck I wanted." He said he was looking for someone who would threaten to leave him if he ever fucked something up.

    Is something that all ISTPs look for in relationships?

    I would have actually been most suspicious of his ex for getting involved in your relationship when really nothing scandalous was going on. It just sounds like meddling motivated by her own feelings. If she resents the friendly emails she doesn't have to reply to them.

    It does sound like some of the things he said to you were pretty harsh though... if he really said he feels like he can do "whatever the fuck" he wants, but does he? I mean it sounds like he's not cheating on you or anything, maybe just disappearing more often? I would have thought trying to give an ISTP space would have been appreciated. Now I'm just more confused, I find this type very hard to understand.
    Introverted (I) 76.67% Extroverted (E) 23.33%
    Intuitive (N) 61.11% Sensing (S) 38.89%
    Feeling (F) 65.52% Thinking (T) 34.48%
    Perceiving (P) 80.65% Judging (J) 19.35%

  8. #88
    I am Sofa King!!! kendoiwan's Avatar
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    Someone needs to read the post in my sig
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ml#post1161526

    "They the type of cats who pollute the whole shoreline. Have it purified. Sell it for a $1.25"

  9. #89
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StephMC View Post
    I prefer it very much if people tell me what I'm doing wrong or if something I'm doing is bothering them. I seriously may never know otherwise. The more calmly I'm confronted about it, the more favorably I respond. Although I respond as well as I can no matter what, I just might be a little more stressed out if I'm attacked with a flurry of emotions.

    But yeah, I don't tolerate threats well. At all. It flicks on my stubborn switch. And I'm not proud to say I've damaged relationships further by just up and walking away without looking back when I'm threatened past a certain point.
    Reminds me of this:


  10. #90
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Apparently I'm the only one who can't understand the post (orig. by lalangela).

    Nobody answered my question as to whether my assumption of what you're (lalangela) asking is correct.

    And I don't even understand what you did or said to this guy or how it involved his past girlfriend.


    Quote Originally Posted by countrygirl View Post
    I don't understand this. What are you, his mother? Why do you have to be his conscious?
    Are you talking to me? Or her?




    I'm so friggin' confused.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

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