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Thread: ISTP Relationship User Guide

  1. #71
    I am Sofa King!!! Array kendoiwan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heinel View Post
    ^ I think I just had that happened
    I know this has happened when the reaction to what I said is disproportionate to the meaning of the conversation for me. The more I feel like the more I know it's happened.
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ml#post1161526

    "They the type of cats who pollute the whole shoreline. Have it purified. Sell it for a $1.25"

  2. #72
    I am Sofa King!!! Array kendoiwan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foolish heart View Post
    A common, recurring pitfall in communication with an ISTP is that the combination of perceived aloofness and the expectation to know what seems to be obvious to the ISTP can create a pressure to perform that causes someone's disposition to crumble and impedes communication. Being such a common occurrence, the ISTP becomes annoyed at an inefficiency which they are unable to resolve as well as the assumptions about their attitude that they feel unfairly tread upon their identity which they wish to accurately portray. This annoyance exacerbates and reinforces the other person's initial assumption. This puts the ISTP in a difficult social position where the only comfortable option is avoidance. If an ISTP does not develop a friendly vibe and a better awareness of their own presence they will most likely end up what most other people consider to be a loner. For another person to reverse this tread, they must understand that this is unintended no matter how much it tends to expose the other person's insecurities and to communicate with them in simple terms, with honesty any directness of intention.
    QFT

    Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ml#post1161526

    "They the type of cats who pollute the whole shoreline. Have it purified. Sell it for a $1.25"

  3. #73
    Active Member Array Poki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kendoiwan View Post
    You did that on purpose!!!
    I cant help it
    Take what I say with a grain of salt, because that's all it is compared to the ocean of complexity when it comes to actions and real life.

  4. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by woolgatherer View Post
    Is telling an ISTP that you've been reading about their personality type a good way to make them uncomfortable? Haha, I would guess it would be, maybe even for most types... but I'm not sure. I think I will keep it to myself for now though.
    Nah, maybe some types (especially NF I think) would get some understanding in our need for space and how we "process" emotions.
    But that works the other way around too.

    Wouldn't make me feel uncomfortable anyway .

  5. #75
    Member Array woolgatherer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HerrDoktor View Post
    Nah, maybe some types (especially NF I think) would get some understanding in our need for space and how we "process" emotions.
    But that works the other way around too.

    Wouldn't make me feel uncomfortable anyway .
    Yes it's helped me a lot to get a better understanding. So many things that people in the forums say are common for ISTPs to do early in relationships would normally make a person think that they can't be that interested. I still don't know what the ISTP I'm thinking of feels though.
    Introverted (I) 76.67% Extroverted (E) 23.33%
    Intuitive (N) 61.11% Sensing (S) 38.89%
    Feeling (F) 65.52% Thinking (T) 34.48%
    Perceiving (P) 80.65% Judging (J) 19.35%

  6. #76
    Active Member Array Poki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kendoiwan View Post
    I know this has happened when the reaction to what I said is disproportionate to the meaning of the conversation for me. The more I feel like the more I know it's happened.
    Take what I say with a grain of salt, because that's all it is compared to the ocean of complexity when it comes to actions and real life.

  7. #77
    I am Sofa King!!! Array kendoiwan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    I'm amazed at how something innocuous to me causes a shitstorm. On FB I once put as my status the hook of a particular song I like. Random as hell right? A pal got offended because he felt it was directed at him.
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ml#post1161526

    "They the type of cats who pollute the whole shoreline. Have it purified. Sell it for a $1.25"

  8. #78
    Junior Member Array lalangela's Avatar
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    I broke it off with my ISTP a few days ago. His ex contacted me and forwarded me a few emails that he had been sending to her. They were friendly emails to "catch up," but she claimed that he had done this with his ex while dating her also. She said it was his way of getting close to her which is completely unacceptable because he was in a relationship. Then, she took the time to convince me on the phone that he had treated her horribly the one year that they were together.

    I confronted the ISTP, and believed him when he said that they were just friendly emails. I even saw them myself and there was nothing wrong. However, being the ENFJ that I am, I overreacted and started questioning his past relationship. I tried to be understanding but I lost it when he said that his ex and I are eerily similar and that he didn't feel any different this time around. In other words, I would go through the same thing because he doesn't change for anyone.

    Problem is that I had changed for him, I became more accepting of his habits which included disappearing for a few days to be by himself. I made his shortcomings work for me. To this, he answered that I was overlooking his flaws and this gave him the idea that he could do "whatever the fuck I wanted." He said he was looking for someone who would threaten to leave him if he ever fucked something up.

    Is something that all ISTPs look for in relationships?

  9. #79
    Senior Member Array Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lalangela View Post
    . To this, he answered that I was overlooking his flaws and this gave him the idea that he could do "whatever the fuck I wanted." He said he was looking for someone who would threaten to leave him if he ever fucked something up.

    Is something that all ISTPs look for in relationships?
    I'm having trouble understanding your post.

    Is your question: Do ISTPs look for/desire someone who would threaten to leave them if they "fucked something up?"

    In other words, someone who will look out for their own needs and keep the ISTP in check with notification that their behavior is undesirable?



    Assuming that is your question, then yes, I find it desirable for people to communicate with me clearly if I'm doing something they don't like and who will be someone who has their own idea of what they really want and won't just stay around me because of their emotional attachments, but because we actually benefit each other in some mutual way.

    That said, I don't want to be "threatened" with a break up. It should just be acknowledged that if two people don't work then it's inevitable that they will fall out of being in a relationship.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  10. #80
    Junior Member Array lalangela's Avatar
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    He did benefit me, but I guess I had trouble showing him that I wasn't validating my emotional attachment. Was it wrong for me to call him out on a past relationship when those things hadn't happened with us (yet) ?

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