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  1. #41
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Not to rain on your parade [sorry, INTP], but these seem like things that would work on anybody.
    Naw. Just look into the typical needs of an ENFJ.

    - Spending time with you or doing things for you is a tell-tale sign you're important to us. Seriously.
    Completely untrue for me & many people I know (like my best friends ESFP & ENTP), though it seems accurate for my ISTP. I spend time with people to get things done or feel lively, even when I care little about them. Without verbal affirmations to say: "hey, I like you more than most!", they'd sometimes have no external sign that they were more important just because we have a lot of activities together.

    Also, to me "doing something special" & "cheering me up" would hardly be used in the same sentence. If I'm upset about something, being "cheered up" with something "new & exciting" right away is usually invalidating for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by StephMC View Post
    -Beware of an ISTP being vague with their answers. I mentioned this way back when on another thread... but we're probably trying to hide something. We don't like to lie, and a few of us may have ourselves convinced that being vague isn't lying.
    Oh man! This is a great one! My ISTP does this all the time (used to be worse) & it gets to me so bad in Ni! I used to come up with all kinds of terrible scenarios about what he was hiding. It usually seems like he's not so much hiding/lying as waiting to be sure that he's confident in what he's revealing or afraid there's some angle about it that he hasn't seen yet which may get him into some complication.
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by toast View Post
    Completely untrue for me & many people I know (like my best friends ESFP & ENTP), though it seems accurate for my ISTP. I spend time with people to get things done or feel lively, even when I care little about them. Without verbal affirmations to say: "hey, I like you more than most!", they'd sometimes have no external sign that they were more important just because we have a lot of activities together.
    I'm kind of the exact opposite. If a group of people are boring to me, I'll typically make an excuse and go find something else to do. I can't feel lively or like I'm getting things done, unless it's on my own or with a good play mate.

    That's something I'd like to learn to out-grow, maybe in the next life.

  3. #43
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    We really don't mean to say hurtful things. When we're using Ti, we may say something we think is simply objective, but comes out the wrong way. Sometimes we forget to translate our thoughts to something a little more diplomatic.


    Ha! That is exactly what he did! And that is exactly what I said back! After I got over the whole 'you said something really hurtful to me and I am extremely mad at you and hurt by you'. After I calmed down, I was all like, I would have appreciated a bit more diplomacy.

  4. #44
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    I'm kind of the exact opposite. If a group of people are boring to me, I'll typically make an excuse and go find something else to do. I can't feel lively or like I'm getting things done, unless it's on my own or with a good play mate.

    That's something I'd like to learn to out-grow, maybe in the next life.
    For real. This one time a dude I'd just met started going waaaaaaaay into religious talk (and I'm kinda atheist)... First chance I got, I left to go read a book.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    Ha! That is exactly what he did! And that is exactly what I said back! After I got over the whole 'you said something really hurtful to me and I am extremely mad at you and hurt by you'. After I calmed down, I was all like, I would have appreciated a bit more diplomacy.
    I'm the least diplomatic person I know. I have a couple of people I go to for advice on how to handle a particular situation when I know I've upset someone.

    Typical conversation:
    Me: Why should I have to say anything? Idk what I did wrong or even what statement it was! I tell people all of the time to tell me when I'm being a jerk. They should know to tell me!
    Them: Because that's their nature. Ask them what you did and tell them you didn't mean to hurt their feelings, that you were just being honest.
    Me: But if it's a problem THEY have with ME, then THEY should tell ME what I did wrong. Why should I have to figure this crap out? Why do I always have to play THEIR game with this friendship? If they don't say anything, I assume it's not that big of a deal.
    Them: *sigh* They've been like that their whole life, and you know they're upset, so just try to make some peace if being friends is worth it.
    Me: *pouts* :rolli:
    I 65.63% E 34.38%
    S 68.75% N 31.25%
    T 87.1% F 12.9%
    P 66.67% J 33.33%

  5. #45
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    Typical conversation:
    Me: Why should I have to say anything? Idk what I did wrong or even what statement it was! I tell people all of the time to tell me when I'm being a jerk. They should know to tell me!
    Them: Because that's their nature. Ask them what you did and tell them you didn't mean to hurt their feelings, that you were just being honest.
    Me: But if it's a problem THEY have with ME, then THEY should tell ME what I did wrong. Why should I have to figure this crap out? Why do I always have to play THEIR game with this friendship? If they don't say anything, I assume it's not that big of a deal.
    Them: *sigh* They've been like that their whole life, and you know they're upset, so just try to make some peace if being friends is worth it.
    Me: *pouts* :rolli:
    I also dislike trying to figure out what someone else is feeling. If they have a problem, they should just say it out loud so we can both take a look at the issues and fix.
    Weathergirl: District 38 is sunny. Slight rock showers this morning. Chance of rock showers into the afternoon—20 percent. District 39 is cloudy. Chance of rock showers this afternoon—10 percent.
    Edward: Bebop here here! Alright woo hoo!
    Weathergirl: Chance of rock showers today upgraded to 90 percent.
    Edward: Really.

  6. #46
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    I relate so well to most of these posts. I have no choice but to peg it to the ISP, because I am for sure Fi-dom, no doubt whatsoever.

  7. #47
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    How To Seduce an ISTP

    Step 2: Move upwind, making it harder to track your scent

    Hello

  8. #48
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    Default lucky's ISTP guide part 1: communication

    Getting along with an ISTP is deceptively simple, meaning it's so easy you're already doing it wrong by trying to "understand" them. The ISTP, much like the ESTP, has a natural interest in behavior, intentions, and the cause and effect behind how it all interacts together. This raw understanding of interactions, in this case human interactions, is the "simple" part of getting along with them. However, unlike their extroverted brother, when it comes to a baseline need for communication the ISTP is falls somewhere between little to none. The ESTP will proactively engage in verbal and facial expression, while the ISTP observes and engages only if needed. Because the ISTP actively observes what is going on around them, they consider the majority of what most people exchange in conversation to be obvious. The stronger the tendency for the ISTP to observe, the less they will communicate because they tend to take the gathered information for granted, assuming it to be common knowledge.

    Upon encountering an ISTP, what is immediately noticed is a vibe of awareness and physical prowess. Along with the fact that they are not expressing much, this is often mistaken as aloofness and most people feel unnecessarily intimidated. On the "inside", however, the ISTP is simply actively observing and more often than not so drawn into what they are experiencing that they can forget their own presence (this is why despite their physical awareness they can be occasionally clumsy). Going back to "deceptively simple", this means that any communication starts at the very least a blank slate and at best in full consideration of the immediate environment or the issue at hand. Although ISTPs are most often skilled which gives them a confident attitude, it is important to separate that from the perceived aloofness so that you can talk to them without feeling unnecessary pressure. The ISTP perceives themselves as being "blank" in expression, and it is upon this blank canvas that many people tend to paint their insecurities onto. Even though something that is obvious to the ISTP may not be obvious to you, that is something they are accustomed to and you should not feel as if you need to know something that you do not. More often than not an ISTP will have strong ability in inductive reasoning which they actually enjoy using for the benefit of others, so don't be shy! If and when the ISTP recognizes you as being more knowledgeable about something, they will simply ask to know more and you should do the same with them. How much and what kind of knowledge one has accumulated is merely a matter of each of our unique life experiences and ought not to be a competition. This unique nature of each of our experiences is why it makes more sense to the ISTP to compete with themselves and remain peaceable with those who also maintain peace.

    A common, recurring pitfall in communication with an ISTP is that the combination of perceived aloofness and the expectation to know what seems to be obvious to the ISTP can create a pressure to perform that causes someone's disposition to crumble and impedes communication. Being such a common occurrence, the ISTP becomes annoyed at an inefficiency which they are unable to resolve as well as the assumptions about their attitude that they feel unfairly tread upon their identity which they wish to accurately portray. This annoyance exacerbates and reinforces the other person's initial assumption. This puts the ISTP in a difficult social position where the only comfortable option is avoidance. If an ISTP does not develop a friendly vibe and a better awareness of their own presence they will most likely end up what most other people consider to be a loner. For another person to reverse this tread, they must understand that this is unintended no matter how much it tends to expose the other person's insecurities and to communicate with them in simple terms, with honesty any directness of intention. This is why I say it is deceptively simple, because the ISTP desire for pure observation excludes them from many verbal and facial expressions that make communication so complex. Remember, the assumptions are all in your head, let go of the anxiety and test the boundaries... you might be surprised at how well the ISTP responds.

  9. #49
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VagrantFarce View Post
    How To Seduce an ISTP

    Step 2: Move upwind, making it harder to track your scent

    Clever girl...



  10. #50
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LuckyNoLimits View Post
    Getting along with an ISTP is deceptively simple, meaning it's so easy you're already doing it wrong by trying to "understand" them. The ISTP, much like the ESTP, has a natural interest in behavior, intentions, and the cause and effect behind how it all interacts together. This raw understanding of interactions, in this case human interactions, is the "simple" part of getting along with them. However, unlike their extroverted brother, when it comes to a baseline need for communication the ISTP is falls somewhere between little to none. The ESTP will proactively engage in verbal and facial expression, while the ISTP observes and engages only if needed. Because the ISTP actively observes what is going on around them, they consider the majority of what most people exchange in conversation to be obvious. The stronger the tendency for the ISTP to observe, the less they will communicate because they tend to take the gathered information for granted, assuming it to be common knowledge.

    Upon encountering an ISTP, what is immediately noticed is a vibe of awareness and physical prowess. Along with the fact that they are not expressing much, this is often mistaken as aloofness and most people feel unnecessarily intimidated. On the "inside", however, the ISTP is simply actively observing and more often than not so drawn into what they are experiencing that they can forget their own presence (this is why despite their physical awareness they can be occasionally clumsy). Going back to "deceptively simple", this means that any communication starts at the very least a blank slate and at best in full consideration of the immediate environment or the issue at hand. Although ISTPs are most often skilled which gives them a confident attitude, it is important to separate that from the perceived aloofness so that you can talk to them without feeling unnecessary pressure. The ISTP perceives themselves as being "blank" in expression, and it is upon this blank canvas that many people tend to paint their insecurities onto. Even though something that is obvious to the ISTP may not be obvious to you, that is something they are accustomed to and you should not feel as if you need to know something that you do not. More often than not an ISTP will have strong ability in inductive reasoning which they actually enjoy using for the benefit of others, so don't be shy! If and when the ISTP recognizes you as being more knowledgeable about something, they will simply ask to know more and you should do the same with them. How much and what kind of knowledge one has accumulated is merely a matter of each of our unique life experiences and ought not to be a competition. This unique nature of each of our experiences is why it makes more sense to the ISTP to compete with themselves and remain peaceable with those who also maintain peace.

    A common, recurring pitfall in communication with an ISTP is that the combination of perceived aloofness and the expectation to know what seems to be obvious to the ISTP can create a pressure to perform that causes someone's disposition to crumble and impedes communication. Being such a common occurrence, the ISTP becomes annoyed at an inefficiency which they are unable to resolve as well as the assumptions about their attitude that they feel unfairly tread upon their identity which they wish to accurately portray. This annoyance exacerbates and reinforces the other person's initial assumption. This puts the ISTP in a difficult social position where the only comfortable option is avoidance. If an ISTP does not develop a friendly vibe and a better awareness of their own presence they will most likely end up what most other people consider to be a loner. For another person to reverse this tread, they must understand that this is unintended no matter how much it tends to expose the other person's insecurities and to communicate with them in simple terms, with honesty any directness of intention. This is why I say it is deceptively simple, because the ISTP desire for pure observation excludes them from many verbal and facial expressions that make communication so complex. Remember, the assumptions are all in your head, let go of the anxiety and test the boundaries... you might be surprised at how well the ISTP responds.
    Very, very nice! That was awesome
    I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.

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