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  1. #21
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StephMC View Post
    I'm starting this one up, with false hopes it will answer at least some of the questions all the ISTP threads are asking (even though I'm female ).

    So here are a few tips off the top of my head that I think (read: "hope") most ISTPs might agree with:

    - We really don't mean to say hurtful things. When we're using Ti, we may say something we think is simply objective, but comes out the wrong way. Sometimes we forget to translate our thoughts to something a little more diplomatic.

    - We're most likely to stick around if you don't try to control us. Just say "no" to putting leashes on ISTPs.

    - Spending time with you or doing things for you is a tell-tale sign you're important to us. Seriously.

    - Wanna do something special or to cheer us up? My advice is food or something new and exciting. A cheap trip somewhere (even nearby) would be pretty sweet. From what I can tell, almost all of us enjoys traveling.

    - Be straightforward with us. If something is bothering you, just tell us. Just don't nag. And let it slide the first or second time if it's not a big deal. This way, if it happens again, you'll be able to give us examples of what we're doing so we can fix it. Calm tone of voice helps too.

    - Cut loose with us! If we seem a little bored or are working too much, we need to cut loose every once in a while. If you're the person that reminds us of this, we'll love you for it.


    I'll think of more later, but I really just wanted to get people started
    I just realized that I'm an ISTP!


  2. #22
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Since this is all handy and stuff, I will ask for some advice -- it is about an ISTP man, but not one I'm dating or want to date -- it's about my dad.

    Dad and I didn't meet until I was 27 years old (he and my mom had a very short, but fruitful relationship, lol). In the 13 years since then, we've not lived near one another and have kept in touch via infrequent phone calls and birthday/holiday cards. Anyway, after being recently quasi-widowed, he has moved to his home town -- about thirty miles from me.

    I am okay talking on the phone, but I have a weird thing about calling people -- it's almost a phobia, so it's hard to work myself up to calling unless I have a specific reason. When dad and I do talk, we get along like gang busters -- we talk about politics and stupid people, etc and it's fun.

    So a few days after he moved, he calls me on the phone, says he's in town because he had to go to the VA office and asks if I'm going to be home. I'm virtually always home. However my place was a mess as usual, so he got to see my house for the first time in a messy state because I didn't have any notice.

    I'd like to spend more time with my dad and I'd like for he and my kids to get to know each other better. He's a great guy with a lot of humor and wisdom. We both like to camp and fish (as do two of my four kids) and I think maybe that's something we could do together. Do I just mention that I'd like to do that sometime and let him take the lead on when and if?

    Do I invite him to specific events like schedule a cook-out or something? What about things like my daughter being presented with a citizenship award at city hall, etc?
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  3. #23
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willfrey View Post
    Very true. I never understood women who brag about being able to control their men. If I even get the notion that somebody is pulling this on me I'll show them how little control they have.
    J men like external structure more than P men. Different strokes and all that.

  4. #24
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Do I just mention that I'd like to do that sometime and let him take the lead on when and if?

    Do I invite him to specific events like schedule a cook-out or something? What about things like my daughter being presented with a citizenship award at city hall, etc?
    I think mentioning any of these would be a great idea, as long as you don't try to pressure/guilt him into going (not that I think you would).
    -end of thread-

  5. #25
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    you istps all share one brain. my istp bf said that he will be starting a colony for all other istps to join. all other types are banned, he said... especially enfps. rude.
    Likes FlyTrap liked this post

  6. #26
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Since this is all handy and stuff, I will ask for some advice -- it is about an ISTP man, but not one I'm dating or want to date -- it's about my dad.

    Dad and I didn't meet until I was 27 years old (he and my mom had a very short, but fruitful relationship, lol). In the 13 years since then, we've not lived near one another and have kept in touch via infrequent phone calls and birthday/holiday cards. Anyway, after being recently quasi-widowed, he has moved to his home town -- about thirty miles from me.

    I am okay talking on the phone, but I have a weird thing about calling people -- it's almost a phobia, so it's hard to work myself up to calling unless I have a specific reason. When dad and I do talk, we get along like gang busters -- we talk about politics and stupid people, etc and it's fun.

    So a few days after he moved, he calls me on the phone, says he's in town because he had to go to the VA office and asks if I'm going to be home. I'm virtually always home. However my place was a mess as usual, so he got to see my house for the first time in a messy state because I didn't have any notice.

    I'd like to spend more time with my dad and I'd like for he and my kids to get to know each other better. He's a great guy with a lot of humor and wisdom. We both like to camp and fish (as do two of my four kids) and I think maybe that's something we could do together. Do I just mention that I'd like to do that sometime and let him take the lead on when and if?

    Do I invite him to specific events like schedule a cook-out or something? What about things like my daughter being presented with a citizenship award at city hall, etc?
    In general, if your dad wants to be a part of your life, he would loved to be invited. However, allow him the option to say no and remember, if he does say no, it probably is not personal.

    Also I would suggest to go slow. All of this could be new for him and a bit overwhelming.

  7. #27
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StephMC View Post
    I'm starting this one up, with false hopes it will answer at least some of the questions all the ISTP threads are asking (even though I'm female ).

    So here are a few tips off the top of my head that I think (read: "hope") most ISTPs might agree with:

    - We really don't mean to say hurtful things. When we're using Ti, we may say something we think is simply objective, but comes out the wrong way. Sometimes we forget to translate our thoughts to something a little more diplomatic.

    - We're most likely to stick around if you don't try to control us. Just say "no" to putting leashes on ISTPs.

    - Spending time with you or doing things for you is a tell-tale sign you're important to us. Seriously.

    - Wanna do something special or to cheer us up? My advice is food or something new and exciting. A cheap trip somewhere (even nearby) would be pretty sweet. From what I can tell, almost all of us enjoys traveling.

    - Be straightforward with us. If something is bothering you, just tell us. Just don't nag. And let it slide the first or second time if it's not a big deal. This way, if it happens again, you'll be able to give us examples of what we're doing so we can fix it. Calm tone of voice helps too.

    - Cut loose with us! If we seem a little bored or are working too much, we need to cut loose every once in a while. If you're the person that reminds us of this, we'll love you for it.


    I'll think of more later, but I really just wanted to get people started
    Every F peoples need to read and assimilate that to be cured of their over-sensitivity!
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

    Chaotic Neutral

    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  8. #28
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Not to rain on your parade [sorry, INTP], but these seem like things that would work on anybody.



  9. #29
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    Seriously, we need more input! ... Even though we all seem to share the same brain

    - We suck at that whole "giving praise" thing, so you're probably really special if you receive a compliment from us. Seriously, it's like pulling teeth. We don't like to feed egos. So in a way, it's a double compliment... we consider you a down-to-earth, well-rounded person that wouldn't let it get to your head

    - If we're not in a talkative mood (i.e., our only responses are grunts, mumbles, murmers and other animal-like noises), it doesn't necessarily mean we don't want you around. My advice would be (if we seem fairly sedate and not very grumpy) just sit with us while we're doing whatever it is we're doing. I've always liked it when someone can recognize I'm not very talkative and can read a book next to me when I'm reading, or something similar. It's nice to enjoy someone's company without all that talking nonsense. Sometimes it takes a lot of energy!

    - We may not always know what we want, but we do our damndest not to step on anyone's toes during the process. We really, really don't want to hurt you if we love you (and you didn't do something so drastic as to ignite ISTP anger ), so tell us if we do something to hurt your feelings! Even if we can't understand it at the moment, we try to piece it together with other information anyways to prevent it from happening again in the future.

    -Beware of an ISTP being vague with their answers. I mentioned this way back when on another thread... but we're probably trying to hide something. We don't like to lie, and a few of us may have ourselves convinced that being vague isn't lying.

    -If we appear we're giving the silent treatment, don't let up. ... But I don't mean harass us. We don't give the silent treatment as a punishment, it's more of a quiet analysis and a prevention to saying something we don't really mean. We may not even know what we want to say. If we didn't piss you off too bad, try to open us up with input and detailed questions. It will help us translate our thoughts to speech.


    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    Kitchen counter works better then dinner tabel(its more sturdy), power tools(I have no qualms about using anything powered, prefer batteries as plugin type is to restricting), and from certain points of views yes mountain ranges are pretty accurate description.
    ... but who am I kidding? This is all you really need to know.
    I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.

  10. #30
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Do I just mention that I'd like to do that sometime and let him take the lead on when and if?

    Do I invite him to specific events like schedule a cook-out or something? What about things like my daughter being presented with a citizenship award at city hall, etc?
    Yep. Say it'd be nice for you guys to do X activity sometime and then ask him to do it when the time comes around. Show him you mean it. If you mention it now, it'll let him warm up to the idea of actually doing it and get used to the thought.

    Aw, a cookout would be great! Food is one way to my heart, that's for sure! It's a casual environment too with an easy exit. It's not like a show or special event where you have to stay the whole time. There's much less chance he'll feel trapped into it.



    And StephMC -
    I 65.63% E 34.38%
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    P 66.67% J 33.33%

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