I feel like it's too late because first, I initiated the break up, so do I have to make the first move? Second, he said a lot of painful things like he didn't know if he even liked me and dating me was to see if I would grow on him. Also, I'm like his ex and he doesn't feel any different (though his actions seem to prove otherwise), so I will probably go through the same thing as she did. He gave me two reasons because I specifically asked where I came short: (a) He didn't feel like I trusted him (which I clarified to him asap) (b) the relationship didn't seem like it was going anywhere. I questioned this because I know he likes to live in the moment but this annoyed him and he replied, "well god woman I know I'm stupid but I'm not retarded. I stop to see what the fuck I'm doing once in a while." I guess people can say painful things in the heat of an argument. I don't know where to start fixing things, and part of me wants the dust to settle first.
Are you sure you are a good fit for each other, overall?
Fear isnt the way to get me to do anything. I will respond, but I will always get past my fears. I dont like being controlled by my fears.
+1. I hate it. Don't do it if you expect to be around me much longer.
Originally Posted by StephMC
I prefer it very much if people tell me what I'm doing wrong or if something I'm doing is bothering them. I seriously may never know otherwise. The more calmly I'm confronted about it, the more favorably I respond. Although I respond as well as I can no matter what, I just might be a little more stressed out if I'm attacked with a flurry of emotions.
But yeah, I don't tolerate threats well. At all. It flicks on my stubborn switch. And I'm not proud to say I've damaged relationships further by just up and walking away without looking back when I'm threatened past a certain point.
Originally Posted by Randomnity
I'm kindof confused why you want to fix things? It sounds like he wasn't making you very happy, and I also can't imagine an istp being happy about the behaviour that you've described.
btw, "clarifying asap" that you trust someone after acting in a way that shows you don't trust them will not change their minds. Again, actions>words, and not just with istps.
Everyone already said everything for me. That's why I'm lazy
I 65.63% E 34.38% S 68.75% N 31.25% T 87.1% F 12.9% P 66.67% J 33.33%
If anyone were cornering me with threats and the like, I'd probably react with some snipey remarks and probably hurtful comments to get rid of the person (to regain my peace of mind). Especially, if I perceived that my actions to make effort were being taken for granted.
Also, I guess I can go into some more detail. When I clarified it, I pointed out that I trusted him with my virginity so that should prove something. His actions did show that he was making some changes, but I blew up at him in the heat of the moment. I didn't know what to do with so much information at once. I just lost it. Seems like I can't redeem myself either.
I'm not sure if I can speak for all ISTPs when I say this except for me and a few individuals I know IRL... but when some ISTPs constantly admit to something negative about themselves without any action (i.e., "I'm really lazy", "I'm just being stupid"), it's an excuse. They don't really plan on doing anything about it. They say those things in hopes you'll throw up your hands, get off their backs, and leave them be.
An ISTP that wants to change just -does.-
I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.