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Thread: ISTP dads

  1. #1
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Default ISTP dads

    So my ex is an ISTP. I was out of town for a few days and when back I asked about our older son.

    I got this answer:

    "Your oldest son woke up with a bizarre illness so after numerous calls to doctors and specialists the only thing we could figure is he lost a baby tooth (@ 14 no less, what a slacker) so he needs to skateboard and go see a movie instead of go to school. Good news is you don't have to leave work early to pick him up"

    Which made me think...How are ISTP dads in general?

    Thoughts? comments? observations? tales of woe?

  2. #2
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    oh, for the love of god!

  3. #3
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Just to clarify-I thought that quite funny and replied "Sounds very serious...it seems very important to keep pressure off of his...face...enjoy the afternoon"

    He is actually a really awesome dad.

    1. He is nicer than me-inferior Fe FTW. He is actually quite caring and says I need to be more sensitive.
    2. He enjoys doing physical stuff with the kids.
    3. He likes to be down on hands and knees in the middle of them as they play. It is very interactive and hands-on. Loves to wrestle.
    4. Very careful about time and calling, He is more motherly than me. It is very funny. 5. He notices when we need to bring in cookies for the daycare parties and gets all bent if I dont pick any up. "Why didnt you bring the cookies???"

    and yeah, stuff like that.

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    You've described certain elements I've observed in friends as parents.
    Although I'm sure it's not universal?

    I'd say typically an ISTP would enjoy and look forward to doing activities with their kids. Playing, yes. Flexible, laid-back, uncontrolling parents who like to take things as they come. The tenancy seems to be to give kids a lot of breathing room and space for individual growth.

    One of the later items you describe strike me as being, correct but would require consious effort on the part of an ISTP. So not universal?

    "Very careful about time and calling"

  5. #5
    Widdles in your cream.
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    My daddums is ISTP.

    We get on great. When he comes home from work, I open the door for him, mutter "Coffee's in the kitchen" and return to whatever I was doing. He sits in the kitchen, drinking his coffee, before preparing dinner. I'm elsewhere. No conversation, no questions. I just leave him to it. There was this one time my friends had come over, and witnessed this. They asked if we'd fallen out, or something. This is our standard routine, whenever I'm home for the week.

    He was always distant. My mum (ESTJ) pretty much had everything under control and engaged with me and my brother. When I was a baby, and my mum had nightshifts at her previous job, he would place me in the play pen and watch TV. But in recent years, we've started bonding. Whenever he goes for a drive, whether it's to the dump or supermarket, I'll hop in the passenger seat. He'll announce he's going out, and then asks if I want to come. We don't talk in the car; he listens to the radio and I have my iPod. That is basically our father-daughter time. Overall, he's a "submarine" parent; observing everything from a distance. But he certainly wasn't a bad parent. His way of showing affection is by surprising me with chocolate, or helping me with homework within his expertise.
    Um, yeah.

  6. #6
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    My ISTP stepdad is to coolest dad I could ever ask for. He's the happiest person on this planet. He's always so content, and gentle-spirited.

    He's even more nurturing than my ESFP mom.

    Whenever I have any problems or like to talk/ask questions about anything and everything- he's always on the couch listening. If I need to vent- he's there with a happy face. He puts up with so many of my questions.

    He's really chill about most things in life, and hardly ever gets upset. When he sutbtly gets mad, that is when everyone backs away, because we hardly see it.

    With the kids in the family- he's good with them too. They all like him, because of the quality of attention he gives them. He's really patient. I'm lucky to have him as a father.. very considerate of everyone. His presence seriously reminds me of the Dalai Lama. (Thread also reminds me of what I should do for him for father's day. Gracias!)

    Edit- I also had him take the Keirsey/online Jungian test. As not all ISTP fathers are like him, we all come from various sets of experiences. that can really alter the way we behave, plus- values, culture (micro/macro), personal interests and stuff..

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    Senior Member Willfrey's Avatar
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    My dad (I'm guessing was ISTP, or ISTJ) wasn't very fatherly until I was in teens, when I started taking an interest in sports and other things that he was interested in. Went from the dad who spent most the time either in the garage on the couch watching TV to going out shooting, camping, or playing catch, watching sports, working on his truck, etc. I remember he'd always take me out at night during winters when he'd plow snow, good times.
    ...Then I ducked my head and the lights went out, and two guns blazed in the dark;
    And a woman screamed, and the lights went up, and two men lay stiff and stark...

  8. #8
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    "Very careful about time and calling"
    It's a weird Fe thing I think.

    We are both pretty P, but I can do things like pay my bills on time (go tert Te) while he is actually better about social nicities (go inf Fe).

    So he gets very bent if I dont call or do things that are "rude" by some Fe social standards. But it can be really hit or miss honestly. He may get mad if I show up to pick the kids up at 4:45 rather than 4:30 and say it is rude, but he wont go to family holidays. (But if he goes he will be on time.)

    When he first would give me a hard time about the Fe stuff It immediately pissed me off , but once I understood it is how he cares for others, I have learned it isnt meant as an attack on me, so I try to be obliging. (It feels like criticism)

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    Not Your Therapist Sinmara's Avatar
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    My dad believed in bizzare and creative punishments. He didn't give us time outs, he screwed with our heads.

    The most notorious punishment he's ever doled out was when he stapled the daughters of a family friend to the wall because he was babysitting and they were misbehaving. They hung there spread-eagle about 3 feet off the ground for about a half an hour before their parents came home. They girls were bawling and telling their parents what a horrible person he was but their parents laughed so hard they cried at the sight of them.

    He got the reputation of being That Crazy Guy in the boy scout troupe run through what was our church at the time. If the he and the boys (10 - 15 y/o range) were out camping and they were trouble makers, he'd do things like wash their mouth out with soap in the river, pick up their tent with them inside of it and dump it into the ice-cold creek at 3am, or more famously, hang a boy over the side of a cliff and threaten to drop him unless he said Pretty Please.

    It certainly kept all the horny bastard teenagers at church to leave us alone. My sister and I were the only ones who didn't get mono.

    I remember we had this one screen saver that was a first person view of careening through a roller coaster. My dad and I would get a couple of chairs, line them up back to back in front of the computer, and then turn the screen saver on and put our hands in the air and scream and thrash from side to side as though we were actually on a roller coaster. My ESFJ mom and sister looked at us as though we were insane.
    Never wrestle with a pig. You will get dirty and the pig will enjoy it.



  10. #10
    sammy
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pettycure View Post
    ...he stapled the daughters of a family friend to the wall .......My dad and I would get a couple of chairs, line them up back to back in front of the computer, and then turn the screen saver on and put our hands in the air and scream and thrash from side to side as though we were actually on a roller coaster. My ESFJ mom and sister looked at us as though we were insane.
    That's awesome!


    My ISTP dad and I didn't get along till I moved out of the house for school and travels and came back a few months later to him making all sorts of suggestions for us to hang out (we like going out for ice cream and Wendy's baked potatoes together, plus outdoorsy stuff). Seems the guy missed me, but didn't know it till I was gone.

    He and I have a similar sense of humor, we like playing pranks on people, and being annoying in general. He really gets my way of thinking and approach toward life. It took a while for us to understand each other well. My ESFJ mom has always told us how similar we are, and that's why we got into huge fights when we were younger. He once told me to get out of the house when I was sixteen and I told him I would gladly leave, but that it would take me some time to pack, so he'd have to be patient. We don't seem to have any major issues anymore, but I attribute all of our problems in the past to his inexperience with children and teenage girls (he's my stepdad and came into my life when I was just entering puberty...bad timing).

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