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  1. #1
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Default Relentlessly cheerful ESFPs?

    I have an acquaintance who I am pretty sure is ESFP – though she could possibly be ESTP – and I would characterize her as relentlessly cheerful. Would you say this is typically ESFP?

    I don’t know her that well, though we have mutual friends. We could have spent more time together if we’d chosen but we have just never clicked sufficiently. I think we more or less like each other but I find her a bit too, well, relentlessly cheerful and party-party-party, while I’m fairly sure she finds me a bit too withdrawn, serious and maybe even pessimistic.

    I get the feeling she may be someone who’s had some unpleasant experiences in her life and her way of dealing with them is the relentless cheerfulness. I do know her parents are divorced and she seems to have made her friends her “family” rather than her actual family. She is also very overweight and I imagine that could have been at least sometimes difficult. She is actually very pretty and dresses and presents herself very well – but still she is very overweight, especially in a city and social milieu where people are very fashion and appearance-conscious and most people in her social circle aren’t overweight (to that extent anyway). I would definitely say she is popular, though.

    I do wonder sometimes if someone like her acknowledges sadness and the darker side of life to her closer friends (she has a huge circle of friends/acquaintances, but is definitely a bit closer to some of those than to others). It just seems like whenever we’ve spoken she’s like “everyone in this city is just so fantastic, that’s why I’m planning to stay” and “I had such a fun fun fun weekend”…etc. She also seems to sort of flirt with everyone, of both genders, as a way of winning them over.

    I think she is a nice girl but basically I am somewhat caught between finding her a bit irritating, with the non-stop happy happy happy and the flirting and so on, and being a little jealous…yes…not that most people I know perceive me as a huge pessimist, but it is certainly a part of who I am!

    This might also co-relate to the ennegram 7 “running away from pain” thing – though she seems like she might also be a 2. One or the other.

    I hope this doesn’t sound bitchy. I basically like her but I do find people like her a bit exhausting. And I am not sure whether to find them superficial, or to admire the cheerfulness against all odds.

    Given that I've posted this in the SP section, you SPs are probably just going to think I'm a bit weird and sad for having a problem with (or wondering about) someone being cheerful all the time.
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  2. #2
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    O HAI!

  3. #3
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    O HAI!
    Hm...I'm none the wiser.
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  4. #4
    it's tea time! Walking Tourist's Avatar
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    She could be a space alien, coming to destroy humans with her relentless, nonhumanlike cheerfulness.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Given that I've posted this in the SP section, you SPs are probably just going to think I'm a bit weird and sad for having a problem with (or wondering about) someone being cheerful all the time.
    I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my spout. Every time I steam up, I give a shout. Just tip me over and pour me out.

  5. #5
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Walking Tourist View Post
    She could be a space alien, coming to destroy humans with her relentless, nonhumanlike cheerfulness.
    Is that code for thinking I'm weird and sad?

    Honestly...I would forgive SPs for posting threads like "Relentlessly gloomy and emo INFJs" in the NF section.
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  6. #6
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    ESFP's get sad too at times. Everyone does. She's just having fun and having a good time. That's just what she does. It doesn't mean she doesn't have deeper feelings or experience sadness. It's just not her thing to dwell on the negative because there are good times to be had that she does not want to miss out on in the moment. Make no mistake, sulking will happen but when the time is right and it probably won't last long if something more appealing comes into her line of sight. I also seriously doubt that she looks down upon you if you are different than her. SP's are very open to people of various backgrounds and orientations. They believe variety is the spice of life and like to go with it! In the moment!

  7. #7
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    ESFP's get sad too at times. Everyone does. She's just having fun and having a good time. That's just what she does. It doesn't mean she doesn't have deeper feelings or experience sadness. It's just not her thing to dwell on the negative because there are good times to be had that she does not want to miss out on in the moment. Make no mistake, sulking will happen but when the time is right and it probably won't last long if something more appealing comes into her line of sight. I also seriously doubt that she looks down upon you if you are different than her. SP's are very open to people of various backgrounds and orientations. They believe variety is the spice of life and like to go with it! In the moment!
    Do you ever get...tired being so "up" all the time?! Or crash really hard?

    I do think that out of all the types, ESFPs may be the ones I have the hardest time understanding. But like I said, I am a bit jealous too.
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  8. #8
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Do you ever get...tired being so "up" all the time?! Or crash really hard?

    I do think that out of all the types, ESFPs may be the ones I have the hardest time understanding. But like I said, I am a bit jealous too.
    Crash hard. But I think S's don't stay down for as long because they get distracted and forget. I like listening to and hanging out with INFJ's. I love their emotional depth.

  9. #9
    it's tea time! Walking Tourist's Avatar
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    Um. No. I really don't communicate in code. It's just me watching way too much science fiction. Apparently, my thought process has been addled by all of that entertainment.
    And, by the way, I have been known to be very "emo," although rarely gloomy.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Is that code for thinking I'm weird and sad?

    Honestly...I would forgive SPs for posting threads like "Relentlessly gloomy and emo INFJs" in the NF section.
    I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my spout. Every time I steam up, I give a shout. Just tip me over and pour me out.

  10. #10
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    ESTPs are apparently rather horrifyingly cheerful most of the time as well

    I have been informed that it is an annoying trait
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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