I want to sort of bogart this post for a bit and ask a question for the ISTPs (without making another
ISTP post)... I hope you don't mind.
If an ISTP says they are "in love" w you, what does that even mean?
I'm pretty sure he's just regurgitating what I've said... because several of the times we've had those "I'm upset with us" fights, I've mentioned my irritation with us having no romance, excitement or "honeymoon phase" because I fell hard and he took his sweet time learning to value me. It was never a deal breaker or anything, just a frustration I wanted him to understand (to explain my disappointment/reaction to certain things). I see it as a difference between us in that he's way too guarded & in control to fall like me, so I'd say: "I know you love me, but I'm in love
." Then I'd explain what that meant to me: that i was smitten & dreamy & hopeful & frankly: adore him. That it's a separate feeling from loving him, its an excitement. I'd say I'm sure he doesn't feel those things. When I'd say something like that, he'd tell me I was wrong & that he knows he's "in love." But when I ask him what he means by it, he describes love. He says things like: "comfort, trust, deep emotional connection."
It doesn't get to me much anymore, so this isn't really a problem I'm looking for advice to or anything. But it does bother me that I have no idea what he means when he says it. What feeling he's describing. He insists he is "in love", but how is he defining it? I mean, don't you guys think that sort of thing is hogwash anyway? Seems like "in love" shouldn't even be in an ISTP vocabulary, and I've never really thought about it as a relative term.