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  1. #81
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LuckyNoLimits View Post
    a metaphor for ISTP love, translated from T to F for your convenience.

    still waters run deep, but people only see the debris that is floating at the top, whether it is a dirty attitude blown in from nearby people or trashy thoughts someone decided to drop in on their way by. from underneath the surface, i look up at what the water looks like at the top and I feel sad. nobody is going to want to swim in that.

    occasionally, someone will notice life below the surface and take a plunge. once they're past the debris, they start to see how things really are and swim downwards. often times this is hard for them and I have to swim up instead and for a brief moment in time, we see each other eye to eye, and my love thrives in the only place it can, an underwater sanctuary. but without fail, they all eventually run out of breath or get tired of a relationship only halfway down... i dont have the heart or the words to explain that this is their own shortcoming. they won't stay long, so it's best for their peace of mind if they can blame something else for why it didnt work.

    many times, I venture out of the water and run freely above the surface, but i dont understand why people are the way they are, and i cant help but remember all of the crap floating on top of the water and feel sad. as much as id like to stay, it's not for me. the depths from whence i came, i then return again. back to a kind of loneliness few would understand, intensely quiet and peaceful, but full of life, much like the ocean floor, to wait for the day the right one dives in, dirty scuba gear and all. until then, plenty of fish in the sea to keep me company.
    Wow, that was very touching. It could be the story of many introverts.

  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Wow, that was very touching. It could be the story of many introverts.
    I dont get this part as its really judgemental against others. This one part really killed it for me.

    i dont have the heart or the words to explain that this is their own shortcoming. they won't stay long, so it's best for their peace of mind if they can blame something else for why it didnt work.
    Im out, its been fun

  3. #83
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    And we'd talk about how different our types are and how he was ALWAYS looking for a motive or looking for my actions to mean something...and I was like "duuuude....nooooooo. srsly, nooooooo." It made me weirdly self conscious, or at least very aware of the fact that he thought everything I did meant something...so I didn't feel like I could *do* anything D:
    That's exactly my experience too. And trying to communicate you have no real motivations -all- the time almost seems to make it worse for someone who is convinced there's meaning/motivation to everything. It makes me shut down and feel a little self conscious.. which is a weird, foreign thing. It makes me question everything to the point where it's almost not enjoyable to be around. Which sucks, because when I don't feel like I'm being put under a microscope, I've had tons of fun and a huge connection with NFs.
    I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.

  4. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by StephMC View Post
    That's exactly my experience too. And trying to communicate you have no real motivations -all- the time almost seems to make it worse for someone who is convinced there's meaning/motivation to everything. It makes me shut down and feel a little self conscious.. which is a weird, foreign thing. It makes me question everything to the point where it's almost not enjoyable to be around. Which sucks, because when I don't feel like I'm being put under a microscope, I've had tons of fun and a huge connection with NFs.
    hmm... I tend to get really frustrated when the kiss principle is violated.
    Doesn't matter if it's a work scenario, or a relationship.

  5. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by StephMC View Post
    That's exactly my experience too. And trying to communicate you have no real motivations -all- the time almost seems to make it worse for someone who is convinced there's meaning/motivation to everything. It makes me shut down and feel a little self conscious.. which is a weird, foreign thing. It makes me question everything to the point where it's almost not enjoyable to be around. Which sucks, because when I don't feel like I'm being put under a microscope, I've had tons of fun and a huge connection with NFs.
    I know for me in this scenario it does cause an uncomfortableness and I fall heavily into external perception mode. Even if they try to pull motivations or assume certain things at the end of the day I see if they still accept me and enjoy my company. I leave my perception very high level and shallow to accomplish this.


    To help distinguish the difference with an ENFP and an ENFJ. an ENFP wants to know why you do things, an ENFJ wants to know what you want. Both want to provide you with what you want. NFPs want to be able to use Ne to expand that out by understanding your motivations, NFJs want to know what it is they can do by way of Se.
    Im out, its been fun

  6. #86
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    And INFPs want to pull you into our Fi web? We want to understand you to see if you are worthwhile.

  7. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    And INFPs want to pull you into our Fi web? We want to understand you to see if you are worthwhile.
    It honestly seems like an INFP will fall into Ne once they find out you are worth while and an ENFP will fall into Fi once they figure you out That may be why they say you must first judge E and I by your initial interactions/impressions of a person.
    Im out, its been fun

  8. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    Even though your experience so far has been of "crap floating on top of the water", and ISTPs' experiences in life play a big part in determining how they view things, please don't rule out the possibility that you could have different outcomes with people in the future (particularly in relationships). Life may surprise you.
    +1! Miracles DO happen!


    Quote Originally Posted by seamaid View Post
    I think this is true from my experience with my ISTP. For the past two weeks I just gave to him happily and freely without expecting anything back (instead of the usual where I'd feel disappointment/resentment), and then voila, one evening I came home to a beautiful vase of fringed red tulips (he went out of his way to find something unique), peanut butter brownies and fresh berries. Could my letting go have been the reason? I don't know. He doesn't readily explain his motivation for anything. It's just my guess.

    We made/ate dinner together in the dark with Pink Floyd in the background and ... very rare for him ... he turned up the intensity: winking, flirting, making deep eye contact, showing off his physical grace for me, things I'd thought he no longer found the need to do with us (we've been living together for a few months now). It was almost too much magnetism directed TO me for me to take, so I kiddingly told him to stop. =P

    But he's like that, I guess. Like the Time Traveler in The Time Traveler's Wife. While "he vanishes at inordinately frequent and lengthy intervals," when he decides to be present, he's totally there, and it's almost too intense when he is.

    I think I am getting to the point where I'm comfortable with how he does romance. Where I don't take it personally, or as a statement of our relationship's decline. This is the way he is -- for me, our relationship is always on the back burner... "fine-tuning", always in need of adjustment, as someone said. Or maybe like a live thing, a potted herb that needs constant care. For him, the relationship is always there but put away like a non-perishable, but when he decides to use it, he makes something AMAZING out of it. Then it's put away again and he goes back to doing other amazing things like his work.
    This is a perfect example of what I'm talking about! Just like the ENFPs worst fear is hypocrisy, the ENTJs is incompetency . . . the ISTPs is loss of personal choice/options. Being forced to action/explanation etc. makes them feel like they are drowning and they must escape FAST! They are very much like a horse. . . if you go into the paddock with a horse that doesn't know you very well, you will find yourself chasing it around for a long time, but the minute you just stop and turn your back on the horse it will walk up to you and nose you. They are curious about you, they just don't want to feel trapped by you. Ultimately, however, for an ISTP relationship to work, they have to feel they can trust you not to control them. Leave the front door wide open. They thrive with trust.

    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    hmm... I tend to get really frustrated when the kiss principle is violated.
    Doesn't matter if it's a work scenario, or a relationship.
    I makes you feel like this.

  9. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Windigo View Post
    This is a perfect example of what I'm talking about! Just like the ENFPs worst fear is hypocrisy, the ENTJs is incompetency . . . the ISTPs is loss of personal choice/options. Being forced to action/explanation etc. makes them feel like they are drowning and they must escape FAST! They are very much like a horse. . . if you go into the paddock with a horse that doesn't know you very well, you will find yourself chasing it around for a long time, but the minute you just stop and turn your back on the horse it will walk up to you and nose you. They are curious about you, they just don't want to feel trapped by you. Ultimately, however, for an ISTP relationship to work, they have to feel they can trust you not to control them. Leave the front door wide open. They thrive with trust.
    I have learned how to escape while not running.
    Im out, its been fun

  10. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    I have learned how to escape while not running.

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