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  1. #11
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    You need to determine whether she's an ENFJ before you make any decisions.
    hahahaha! Right on! I like that.
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Oops. Happens all of the time. It's one of the most common reasons backpackers request search and rescue evacuations. At least you didn't do something ridiculously difficult to do accidentally, like sprain an ankle or forget a critical piece of gear.

    It's ok though. Everyone makes mistakes when they're first learning to backpack.
    Embarrassing accidents like these will gradually diminish as you gain more experience, so hang in there!

    Happy hiking!
    Gosh JAVO, you're so right! I'm so glad those embarrassing moments are behind me! LOL

    Just be careful man, as my ISTP can tell you those accidental groping sessions can leave you with a lifetime of hell to pay for, so take it nice and easy. NO committments until you are absolutely sure you can live with her forever.

    As me sainted ol mum once said, "If the thought of spending every morning for the next 65 years looking at her progressively aging face sends shivers down your spine--run!!! If you think >sigh< 65 years isn't EVEN enough time. . . then it looks good.

  3. #13
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by perfectgirl View Post
    Um, I don't think JAVO is the OP. I'm confused. Anyway, correct me if I'm wrong, but is an ENTJ man(you?) with an ISTP girl(your girl?), qualified to give advice to an ISTP man (the OP)? Are any of us really qualified?? I'm thinking hell no! As for the advice you gave about looking at her face for 65, well lol and more lol!!! Heck, dang, heck,... REALLY, who actually thinks that ding dang far in advance?? not even the most skilled INFP can do that!!! as if!!! I'm thinking if you can, then I want to be ENTJ! I'm not an ENTJ, so I for damn sure don't think that far in advance when I'm dating someone. Pretty boy, fine face, sexy, I don't care, you're not looking any better if your clingy, pushy, talky, freaky (hmm.. welllll freaky maybe ) ... the scary thought of commitment will trump all that + 65 years. So, with that said I don't think you (ENTJ) fully understands this unpredicatable dating/hiking/kissing situation. Some of you types are clingy you know. If you'd just gives us some space, we might could see past today... 65.. oooh that's a toughie.
    Windigo is female and is perfectly entitled to give advice about ISTP guys... She was married to one.

    Windigo is pretty effiminate anyway. I'm not sure how you thought she was a guy.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  4. #14
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Windigo is female and is perfectly entitled to give advice about ISTP guys... She was married to one.

    Windigo is pretty effiminate anyway. I'm not sure how you thought she was a guy.
    +1

  5. #15
    Senior Member man's Avatar
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    Ok, I decided to ask her out thanks for the advice!!!!!

    Why are we talking about marriage?????
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by perfectgirl View Post



    lol, I don't know, I understood you very well to be talking about the present moment... and I tried to set the record straight and stop the ENTJ that took this thread way off course to 65 years into the future; surprisingly, the ISFP's jumped on the ENTJ bandwagon. Anyway, It's all good. I have your back and I understood what you meant. To the ISFP's and the ENTJ: I apologize if I offended you, I have good intentions and prefer to keep things real. Recommending that an ISTP try to imagine himself married to this woman 65-years from now as basis of determining whether to ask her out on another date, is not keeping it real, it's confusing and comedic. Here's the recommendation I'm referring to...



    IMHO, I'll acknowedgle that this may be excellent advice for some other personality types.
    No offense taken perfectgirl as an ENTJ it is really hard for me to get offended. I appreciate you validating the remark nonetheless.

    Quote Originally Posted by man View Post

    I dunno I haven't given dating her much thought until now though I suppose she's been into me for months, I dunno if I want commitment, but maybe it wouldn't be too bad??????????????
    Man, I wasn't talking marriage, but you are the one who wasn't sure if you if you wanted "COMMITMENT" to which I say the above advice is good stuff ESPECIALLY because ISTPs tend to take things SO one day at a time that they end up in sticky situations that NEVER go away. (In other words they find themselves committed whether they want to be or not.)

    My ISTP thought he'd give this girl who'd been hounding him a date. He ended up "accidentally groping her" and has put up with 17 years of dealing with a certifiably crazy ex-wife (married for just 6 months--but they share a daughter of whom he now has full custody). Not only has this been hard for him personally, but it pretty much was the death sentence for any girl who came along after the ex and was frightened by her constant threats. I can't tell you how many times he's said, "I can't believe how I was so close to NOT going on that date with her."

    He wasn't thinking 65 years into the future either . . . but it's a decision that will haunt him for the next 65 years (or as long as their daughter lives to get married, have children, ect.).

    In light of this situation, I was warning Man NOT to make any commitments UNTIL 65 years seems like not enough time to get to know this intriguing person (which obviously wasn't true since he didn't even think about dating her for months after the "accidental kissing session".)

    I do sometimes forget that as an ENTJ I am VERY careful about whom I fall in love with. That's not to say that I haven't been completely romantically swept off my feet 4 times in my life, two of which resulted in marriage. (My first husband was killed in an automobile accident.)

    I know that when it is love (which is the only reason you should be talking about making a commitment to someone) then eternity seems much too short a time for you to get to know this person. Everyday you spend with them seems magical, even the ones that are difficult.

    If you are not feeling this way, then although, it is okay to date, I WOULD NOT make ANY sort of commitment and I would make it perfectly clear to this person up front, recognizing that they will interpret it any way they wish to, but at least you are being up front and honest.

    So, I think, since I have now completely over analyzed the situation . . . Slippy's advice is the best!

    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    mk...I say relax and enjoy the ride! Just don't feed her, or let her know where you live.
    PS Thank you BlackCat and countrygirl for your kind words and understanding.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    What a good post. ^^^

    Quote Originally Posted by Windigo View Post
    ...

    In light of this situation, I was warning Man NOT to make any commitments UNTIL 65 years seems like not enough time to get to know this intriguing person (which obviously wasn't true since he didn't even think about dating her for months after the "accidental kissing session".)

    I do sometimes forget that as an ENTJ I am VERY careful about whom I fall in love with. That's not to say that I haven't been completely romantically swept off my feet 4 times in my life, two of which resulted in marriage. (My first husband was killed in an automobile accident.)

    I know that when it is love (which is the only reason you should be talking about making a commitment to someone) then eternity seems much too short a time for you to get to know this person. Everyday you spend with them seems magical, even the ones that are difficult.

    If you are not feeling this way, then although, it is okay to date, I WOULD NOT make ANY sort of commitment and I would make it perfectly clear to this person up front, recognizing that they will interpret it any way they wish to, but at least you are being up front and honest.
    All around solid reference guide and advice.

    And regarding "being upfront" and "recognizing that they will interpret it any way they wish to." Yeesh, that's the truth. I've made the stupid mistake of thinking that being upfront and forthright would guard me from entanglements.

    Not the case. I have gone to the point of "ruining the mood" and essentially producing a clear oral contract* that 'I'm NOT looking for a commitment and this would just be for fun and I'm not willing to do this if you expect more than that'. Even so, I've still gotten into situations where the other party expected more from me (which wouldn't be so bad, at least for me, in itself) and gave me problems until I had to drive it home to back off.


    So the point I'm making, and what I would add to all this is: learn to identify the ones who are really looking for more than you are, even if they don't know it themselves. It's good for both of you not to get caught up in something that isn't so ideal.




    *yes, i've taken a class in business law, it was great. maybe I'll marry a lawyer <---comment ripe for snarky remarks and jokes
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  8. #18
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    oy vey, istps and commitment. :rolli:

    This should be their mantra...

    "you don't know what you got, till it's gone"

    By the time they make up their mind, they run a major risk of losing the girl they've always been in love with but were too scared to commit to before ABSOLUTELY KNOWING, WITH CERTAINTY, that she is, or WAS the one.

    :sad:
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

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  9. #19
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    there's the rub.

    "chance"
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  10. #20
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    there's the rub.

    "chance"
    Yep.

    And, they're so critical and analytical regarding love, that it becomes...

    exhausting.

    But, they eventually come around.

    But, and this is a big BUT, when they do eventually come around, will you still be around?!?

    Maybe, maybe not...
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

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