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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by yupyupyup View Post
    have you ever considered that all istps arent exactly the same? maybe he thinks talking about his gf is too private.
    We're definately not all the same, as with any other type. Social economic opportunities, etc. among other elements make us all unique, yet similar enough to recognize each other.

    So the guy's got a girlfriend, and text you and etc. Tells you he's afraid she'll cheat on him. Tell's you he's having dreams about you in the shower.

    Sounds like an obvious opportunity to me, if you're interested. I'd say go for it!

  2. #32
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    haha im guessing you're just telling me what i wanna hear now. ill get back to you in a couple years and fill u in :P especially if he turned out to be a psychopath.

  3. #33
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    Successfully guessing what a woman wants to hear!?! You got to be kidding me!!! j/k

    Interesting scenario you'd forwarded. Playing with fire can be fun, especially when one is young. I doubt the guys a psychopath. Perhaps its' just a growth stage? Who knows?

  4. #34
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yupyupyup View Post
    have you ever considered that all istps arent exactly the same? maybe he thinks talking about his gf is too private.
    We're definitely similar but not all the same.

    Here's my thing. If he thinks that talking about his gf is too private then flirting with you isn't too forward?

    When I have issues that I need to confide in I go to a trusted source who knows me well. He may not be this way. Who knows. But common sense tells me he is riding the lines of appropriate communications with you (I say "appropriate" while cringing) and I sense that he is completely happy with where things are and will only divulge enough to keep you playing along.

    The dream in the shower comment? That contains sexual connotations.

    The fear of the gf cheating? Have you asked why he thinks so? Does he avoid this question? If he does then I call bullshit on him. He's using it as a line to either get you to feel sorry for him or get you to give him some entitlement in your mind for him to continue his flirtation.

    Question for you: Does he ever say anything nice about his gf? Or is it only negative or neutral?
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  5. #35
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    I know his concern about his gf was genuine, because that's the only time he's every mentioned her and the reason he brought it up is he kept having dreams about it and i usually interpret his dreams. i told him he had nothing to worry about.

    otherwise he's never mentioned his gf and like i said avoids the topic of her entirely where he'll end the conversation if i mention her at all.

  6. #36
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    ^
    Granted the following isn't much of an improvement over silence.

    But...That's just puke!

  7. #37
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yupyupyup View Post
    I know his concern about his gf was genuine, because that's the only time he's every mentioned her and the reason he brought it up is he kept having dreams about it and i usually interpret his dreams. i told him he had nothing to worry about.

    otherwise he's never mentioned his gf and like i said avoids the topic of her entirely where he'll end the conversation if i mention her at all.
    From Wikipedia...

    Denial of fact
    In this form of denial, someone avoids a fact by lying. This lying can take the form of an outright falsehood (commission), leaving out certain details to tailor a story (omission), or by falsely agreeing to something (assent, also referred to as "yessing" behavior).
    He's completely avoiding the topic. He's leaving out details.

    Can it be anymore clear?
    I 65.63% E 34.38%
    S 68.75% N 31.25%
    T 87.1% F 12.9%
    P 66.67% J 33.33%

  8. #38
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    You know your situation better than anyone. Trust your gut. We are all just guessing. I wish you the best of luck. You're an INTP? You know shit. You know your own truth. Let him prove it. (the only true test of an ISTP...look for actions!) Otherwise and politely...F him.

    I can only speak for me but when I want something or someone I go for it. Most of the time I don't care what I want. Get it? When an ISTP wants something they go for it wholeheartedly. But it takes time and experience before he/she knows such a thing. That's not an insult. Just a fact. I don't think ISTP's can function in relationships without vast experience (in their 30's, 40's etc). It sucks but I don't see young ISTP's doing well with interpersonal relationships. I would say they are inept at it.
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  9. #39
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    Yeah I know he's obviously avoiding talking about his girlfriend.. i was just responding MDP2525's question.

    But yeah I know in my gut if he wanted it bad this really woudn't have been prolonged over 2 years lol. I'm just hoping he'll have an epiphany or something later in life. Thank you ALL for your input.

  10. #40
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    The way he's treating you appears to be Narcissism. He most likely has a few to several girls who he texts and has a vague hot & cold relationship with. They are used, as are you, as acquaintances he gets attention or distraction from. Doesn't indicate NPD directly, as that is full on sociopath. From what you described it sounds more like he is not looking for Narcissistic supply as much as fighting boredom & having a kind of freedom from his gf through talking to girls like you. There is a thin border there, as far as how it can effect you though.

    I am going to disagree with everybody here though. I'm probably going to get shit for this, but I think a young ISTP shows similarities with Narcissistic behavior & can definitely be confused with it. It is not about Narcissistic supply, however, as in attention for identity... so I am not saying young ISTPs are Narcissistic, by any means. I sincerely thought the ISTP I am close to had NPD. So did his family. He was extremely insecure though, and had been abused, so there were other factors with him, but I have seen much milder forms of the type of behavior yupyupyup is finding so confusing in the other ISTPs I know (when they were younger). They have similarities to NPD behavior in that they kept several acquaintances who give them freedom from close interpersonal relationships & options when it comes to activity & fighting boredom. This, plus a lack of innate empathy, can appear to be narcissistic. (Not to mention the detachment from emotions with the exception of aggressive outbursts when provoked to anger. You guys can bite like hell when you're pissed, and it often appears to be the only emotion expressed vividly.)

    I'm not saying either that this guy isn't narcissistic, but they usually rush intimacy for attention over relationships with distance (such as texting), so it seems unlikely. My ISTP did something very similar to what yupyupyup is describing (though I won't go into detail because I know he'd be very unhappy with that). It wasn't narcissistic. He truly thought the girls he was texting didn't give any more care about him than he did about them.

    I'd tell him you like him & put him on the spot. But don't let him mess you around if he even implies anything along the lines of liking you but not being able to leave his gf.
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

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