but here's another ENFJ-ISTP thread.
I'll try to make the story short and sweet although as an ENFJ, I'm tempted to start from the beginning and agonize over every event.
An ISTP and I were going to pursue a relationship. Suddenly, he changed his mind and broke it off, citing that he still liked me, "nothing had changed," and not being able to give "the time and attention that I relationship required."
One night, about two months in of maintaining a platonic friendship (minus one drunken hook up), the ISTP and I were in a room alone for ten minutes. Call me naive, but I wasn't thinking much of us being alone together. He kissed me and was completely confused when I pushed him off and told him that there was no way since he had refused me two months before. To this, he answered, "what if I changed my mind?" And I stormed out of the room, hearing his last words "then don't come back." He ignored me for the next few days until I showed up to his room, demanding to talk about the situation. (Do ISTPs change their minds like this?)
He told me he was "still physically attracted but emotionally, not as much" and that things like this happen because he was "still into me" but made no promise that he wouldn't try to make moves on me in the future. I thought that it would be best that I say I was physically attracted, but not emotionally, as well. I was hoping that he would stick to his first decision and say we should just remain friends. Instead, he suggested we "try having a physical relationship and see where it goes from there." At first, I didn't agree but gave in after he brought up how "my ENFJ personality would never allow me to keep things strictly physical." I hate challenges.
I was content with the FWB situation, nothing had happened yet, until he drunkenly hooked up with one of his close friend's ex-girlfriends at a party that our mutual friends were at. Drunkenly having sex was something the ISTP thought was one of the worst possible things to happen while drunk. He had to have known that he wasn't only going to hurt me but all of his friends by doing such a thing. What causes an ISTP to change his values? Do ISTPs often put up facades for those who they like in order to attract them?
So this is where the situation stands now. He regrets the drunken hook up and will never mention it again although I'm sure it'll be a joke among our friends for some time. Despite this, I still feel strongly for the ISTP. He's changed a lot during these past few months, taking on many qualities I don't approve of, but I can't help but hope the old him is somewhere in there.
However, I can keep these feelings in. Should I still agree to the FWB relationship? Should I even keep the friendship? What signs should I look for that he could possibly want more and is just treading slowly for now?