[MBTI General] Not another ENFJ-ISTP thread...

[jixmixfix]

Yeah ISTP's are getting kind of a bad rap lately due to an influx of posters having a hard time with their ISTP's but lets not get too carried away with stereotyping. They're not all bad. There are plenty of people who are in happy committed relationships with their ISTP's. They are not all alike.

PS - countrygirl, I still think you're ISFJ.

don't lie you all love us because we are harder to catch...let alone keep...

 

[alcea rosea]

Few words caught my eye as being strange:

He told me he was "still physically attracted but emotionally, not as much" and that things like this happen because he was "still into me" but made no promise that he wouldn't try to make moves on me in the future. I thought that it would be best that I say I was physically attracted, but not emotionally, as well.

I don't know how deeply ISTP's usually are emotionally attached. I don't know if emotional attachment is their primary target in life anyway. Primary F-users shouldn't expect any huge emotional things from ISTP's, whose F is burried somewhere in the persona. Just a warning for you as I happen to be married to ISTP, I know their emotional life isn't on the surface and it's even for me hard to reach that and I don't even have primary F... Emotions and ISTPs: yes, they have emotions but with usage of primar Ti - well - it seems that they are quite able to turn off the emotions and use reasoning instead. Something that is much harder (or impossible) for "F people"...

What causes an ISTP to change his values? Do ISTPs often put up facades for those who they like in order to attract them?

I don't think ISTP's would very easily change values as their values seem to be "hit to the rock". I have seen the ISTP fascades, thought.

However, I can keep these feelings in. Should I still agree to the FWB relationship? Should I even keep the friendship? What signs should I look for that he could possibly want more and is just treading slowly for now?

If he says he doesn't have feelings, I guess he won't be developing any if he decides not to. So, looks like you are only going to get hurt unless he is really going to change his mind. Only time will tell if he will, I guess.

 

[lalangela]

I guess I should have updated on the situation. Time did tell and things changed between us a month ago. To quote a message to toast:

"You know how I talked about finding that fairytale ending to this ENFJ/ISTP cycle? I think I got it.

After a night of partying, the ISTP confessed to me that he doesn't understand why he puts up this wall with people, he just does, but he doesn't want to any longer. He asked for a chance for us to try. He said that he did all of these things to get over me but none of them worked. He showed this crazy romantic side of him that I had never seen before. It was almost beautiful to hear him say that he could understand physics but not in his own mind.

I explained to him that what he did has caused me a ridiculous amount of pain. I told him that for us to be together, he can't be afraid to talk to me about his feelings. Again, I came out saying "yes" when I had gone in with my mind set on us never getting together."

It has been a month so far and things are going pretty well. I completely agree that ISTPs are able to shelf their emotions while ENFJs struggle with such feats. I've learned to unleash those emotions when it's necessary.