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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by toast View Post
    ^ wish I was an ENTJ...
    No! Embrace who you are! My best friend is an amazing ENFJ lady who's a wonderful mix of passion, confusion, fear and persistence and strength. You have amazing gifts of encouraging and nurturing people. You have a desire to see the world changed for better. You are warm and funny and accepting. My friend is married to an ISTJ who is very patient with her mood swings and helps her remain focused. They have been married for 2-1/2 years and are currently teaching overseas. They make a wonderful couple. Wait for the person who thinks you're so amazing that he can't stay away from you.

    At the risk of sounding old fashioned I learned that sex is a good way of confusing things in the beginning of a relationship. When I was younger I thought sex should be part of the deal but it always left me feeling progressively lonelier and unloveable when they ultimately moved on (usually after 3 months).

    For personal reasons I decided to wait until marriage and be up front with the potential men on the first date. A lot of guys got angry and never called me again. I shrugged them off much easier without all the emotional baggage that sex inevitably throws into the mix.

    When I told the ISTP the same thing he visibly relaxed. Not what I was expecting. But now that the pressure was off him we were able to take it one day at a time without a lot of drama and as things progressed I think he really enjoyed testing my resolve.

    You can blast my opinion if you want, but I think that most guys deep down inside like to know that a girl who is strong enough to hold them at bay for 6 months or whatever is one they can trust not to hook up with a neighbor after they are married. I think guys actually like the security although many may not admit it in public.

    So I would caution all "ye fair and tender ladies, (to) take warning how you court your men . . ." Leave sex for after you know you genuinely like and respect the guy as a person without all the endorphins making it confusing.

    Quote Originally Posted by countrygirl View Post
    One of the reasons why I love my ISTP husband.
    Agreed. There is no better gift in the world than being truly accepted for who you are. The intimacy and passion that blossoms in such a relationship is a rare gift indeed.

  2. #22
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Windigo View Post
    No! Embrace who you are! My best friend is an amazing ENFJ lady who's a wonderful mix of passion, confusion, fear and persistence and strength. You have amazing gifts of encouraging and nurturing people. You have a desire to see the world changed for better. You are warm and funny and accepting. My friend is married to an ISTJ who is very patient with her mood swings and helps her remain focused. They have been married for 2-1/2 years and are currently teaching overseas. They make a wonderful couple. Wait for the person who thinks you're so amazing that he can't stay away from you.
    I dig that 'make him wait' idea.
    I'm just whining 'cause I have an ISTP, and I want to be with him in every way but I just can't handle it. Just thinking about him makes me not want to be myself. I feel like all the things I don't like about being an ENFJ only surface (and all at once) when I'm too involved with him. I've been trying like you wouldn't believe to get away from him & regenerate. We are young & I don't plan on losing him as a friend so who knows, maybe we'll grow into something that works. Its terribly frustrating though because I am extremely impatient & I consistently wish I had what it takes to be happy with him now. I really, really like ISTPs. :steam:
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  3. #23
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    Patience comes through pain. Ah the sad truth of it. Unfortunately it goes against our grain and we can only learn it when we get burned one too many times for grasping for the prize before we are ready.

    You need a quest. Something bigger than yourself. This may sound crazy, but when I decided to avoid my ISTP I prayed and asked for something to take my mind off him. The next week I was invited to be a back up singer in a band. It was fun and I got to hang around fun and exciting people and I only thought about my ISTP when I was feeling lonely at night. I had almost completely forgotten him when we ran into each other at a part a year later.

    I'm not saying that you will end up with this particular ISTP, but if you develop some ISTP interests (skydiving, bass fishing, motorcycle racing to name a few) you may meet a more mature ISTP who captures your heart. Just remember that you must learn NOT to push them in ANY way. They are the immovable object. You must be the irresistible force! LOL

  4. #24
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Windigo View Post
    Just remember that you must learn NOT to push them in ANY way. They are the immovable object. You must be the irresistible force! LOL
    How do the heck do you manage that?! haha.
    I have no idea how to be anything different. I would describe myself already as the irresistible force. I have such a complex about pushing people directly, but I influence, I coerce, I find loopholes that make it "their decision." Its just a natural thing, and I have trouble identifying where to change it because its never based on making people more like 'me', but rather more like I feel they should be to be happier or more successful. Sometimes its as simple as just getting closer to them if they do it, which happens without me being aware of it, & seems natural and perfectly fine. I don't like when I realize I'm influencing or trying to influence someone. So it stays subconscious usually. Its very hard to know how not to push when all I see is the future. I've tried just trying to make the other person be happy 'in the moment' & it usually collapses because it just seems to meaningless.

    I really think it may be hopeless because I can't separate from my feelings enough to back away, stay away but stay close enough for him to meet me halfway when he's ready. I'm sort of in the middle of doing this right now & its not working. I feel like its all redeeming to everyone BUT the ISTP, because everyone else sees that I'm not trying to push, I'm just concerned. He doesn't care whether or not I'm concerned. He could give a crap why I'm doing it as long as I'm pushing. And I don't know how to say: "I'm concerned"... I do it through pushing maybe.
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  5. #25
    Senior Member Willfrey's Avatar
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    ISTP's are like typology's Rubix Cube. You can't figure us out, yet still you can't keep yer hands off us
    ...Then I ducked my head and the lights went out, and two guns blazed in the dark;
    And a woman screamed, and the lights went up, and two men lay stiff and stark...

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willfrey View Post
    ISTP's are like typology's Rubix Cube. You can't figure us out, yet still you can't keep yer hands off us
    shh! they might figure out the solution matrix.

  7. #27
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post


    shh! they might figure out the solution matrix.
    Too friggen true, ridiculously so.
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  8. #28
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    The amount of posts dealing with ISTP's jerking around these poor people still amazes me. Even though just about every post is about something I've been through. I'm not proud of it either, by the way. We really are some unruly sons of bitches aren't we.

  9. #29
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benny View Post
    The amount of posts dealing with ISTP's jerking around these poor people still amazes me. Even though just about every post is about something I've been through. I'm not proud of it either, by the way. We really are some unruly sons of bitches aren't we.
    ISTPs are not for the emotionally needy.

  10. #30
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    ^ True. Though their 'emotionally un-neediness' can make someone more needy by proximity, not necessarily through fault of their own. Its not as simple as 'steer clear if you're high maintenance.'
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

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