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  1. #61
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    Hey, Bamboo...
    I just want to say one thing & i hope it doesn't sound assumptive or judgmental. But IME with every ISTP I know... If a girl seems "really nice" to you, she's not interested... she's friggen' ravenous.

    I have actually heard that "I don't know if she likes me... she wore makeup... keeps asking me things... talks about her SO" thing so many times & usually these girls turn out to be absolutely floored for them. You guys have a way of being so laid back but non disclosed that you make it almost impossible for someone to be "all over you" when they want to be. They throw hints as subtle as they think yours 'might' be.

    And you guys are so nonjudgmental that if you even have a doubt she might want more than friendship you are probably 'trying' not to make a judgment by discrediting what would be obvious to intuition.

    Also, I don't know how common the ISTP type is. But to me you guys are so perplexing that you seem exotic & foreign, while at the same time obviously stable & self sustained. Perfect fantasy lover "get me away from my terrible relationship" profile.
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  2. #62
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    i thought nice girls were generally a good indication for anyone? Oo or is that what you're saying?

  3. #63
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    wow this thread is still going!? i should subscribe to my own threads.

    i'll get back at comments later i have to go out for now/the night...
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  4. #64
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    i wonder if other sp women fall for istp "mystery" though. they're similar enough to understand... and umm... i don't think sp's torment themselves about what's in people's souls too much. i wouldn't if it's the other way around.
    I'm not sure if I fell for the "mystery" type or not. If he was into me (and I him) great. If not, I didn't waste my time. I do perfer some emotional distance but I also expect that my husband confide in me first if a serious situation arose. And no, I don't go peeping into his soul.

    I didn't know about MBTI when I married him. One of the reason I did marry him was because he understood my need for space and to be alone. I didn't have to explain it to him. He also accepted me for me.

  5. #65
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toast View Post
    Hey, Bamboo...
    I just want to say one thing & i hope it doesn't sound assumptive or judgmental. But IME with every ISTP I know... If a girl seems "really nice" to you, she's not interested... she's friggen' ravenous.

    I have actually heard that "I don't know if she likes me... she wore makeup... keeps asking me things... talks about her SO" thing so many times & usually these girls turn out to be absolutely floored for them. You guys have a way of being so laid back but non disclosed that you make it almost impossible for someone to be "all over you" when they want to be. They throw hints as subtle as they think yours 'might' be.

    And you guys are so nonjudgmental that if you even have a doubt she might want more than friendship you are probably 'trying' not to make a judgment by discrediting what would be obvious to intuition.

    Also, I don't know how common the ISTP type is. But to me you guys are so perplexing that you seem exotic & foreign, while at the same time obviously stable & self sustained. Perfect fantasy lover "get me away from my terrible relationship" profile.
    Addressing the bolded (for now):

    The thing is, what seems obvious to intuition isn't always the truth. I described this in another post: you find what you look for.

    I can see a lady telling me her husband is out of town, and I can say "she's trifling" or I can say "she's letting me know she needs help around the house." Having the experiences I have had, and having the focus on these experiences I have, it's natural that I'm going to assume the first option, due to my pre-occupation with the subject. But it's perfectly logical that it's the second option, and if I shift my view point to "where can i find good business opportunities" or "who are the type of clients who need my assistance most" than all of a sudden my intuition is cluing me into a whole nother' set of details.



    Enough for now, more later.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  6. #66
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    Addressing the bolded (for now):

    The thing is, what seems obvious to intuition isn't always the truth. I described this in another post: you find what you look for.

    I can see a lady telling me her husband is out of town, and I can say "she's trifling" or I can say "she's letting me know she needs help around the house." Having the experiences I have had, and having the focus on these experiences I have, it's natural that I'm going to assume the first option, due to my pre-occupation with the subject. But it's perfectly logical that it's the second option, and if I shift my view point to "where can i find good business opportunities" or "who are the type of clients who need my assistance most" than all of a sudden my intuition is cluing me into a whole nother' set of details.



    Enough for now, more later.
    I think you have it right. Some women use men as girlfriends not meaning it to be a sexual overture. Just using a shoulder to vent so to speak. Nothing wrong with having a decent conversation with the opposite sex. However, if she is bad mouthing her SO, that to me, is a red flag.

    I am curious to what advice your handyman book gives.

  7. #67
    Senior Member LeafAndSky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by countrygirl View Post
    I am curious to what advice your handyman book gives.
    [Has sudden vision of 'So You Want To Be A Handyman' book sales skyrocketing as frustrated, socially awkward young NT males discover a previously unconsidered career. Am omitting remark about needing to read the power tool manual.]

  8. #68
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    I'll reply to everything via mega post.

    Originals edited for space and content.

    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    ... I think the best thing you can do is avoid compromising situations as much as possible (eg alone together), and change the subject if topics become personal. You may feel like a bit of a jerk doing it, but if she really only wanted someone to unwind to she would more than likely have found a close female friend for the purpose.

    Playing dumb could also shield you from a lot of this stuff. Just pretend you are completely missing all hints and flirtation.
    Yeah, that's basically how I play it. When in doubt, I'm not going to just "hang out" alone. And yeah, it does seem wrong sometimes to just say "oh, yeah, that sucks....well how bout those red socks?" but I'm keeping myself out of trouble. Sometimes if I get a vibe I just ignore it.

    It's a lot easier to do if you're not attracted to the person. Luckily, I've found reasons not to be interested - concentrated focus on the turn-offs and weird stuff helps.

    Ha, I feel like I may well be advising an ISTP to act even more like an ISTP, and therefore making the situation worse. Acting overtly sensitive, caring, considerate, warm and empathetic will probably drive this kind of woman away faster than anything else.
    hahaha. y'know, I actually considered that maybe some of these girls are just fishing for a compliment, and because I don't give it to them, they just keep pushing harder. maybe if I just give them a freebie on occasion ("you look nice today") things would be less heated.

    of course, that could blow up in my face pretty easily.

    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    hah.. good theory. to an extent.

    i wonder if other sp women fall for istp "mystery" though. they're similar enough to understand... and umm... i don't think sp's torment themselves about what's in people's souls too much. i wouldn't if it's the other way around.
    Some of these girls are sp, other's nf.

    no sj's, occaisional single nt's FWIW.

    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    If anything, even if I dated one, I don't think I'd find it hard to leave one. It'd probably be on friendly terms. OTOH, I see so many threads where some NF's are wondering how it's all gone wrong.. Not sure if I'd do that.
    Yeah, I really can't imagine leaving on bad terms unless one party isn't just being upfront. Clingy girls who are trying to act tough come to mind.

    Quote Originally Posted by toast View Post
    Hey, Bamboo...
    I just want to say one thing & i hope it doesn't sound assumptive or judgmental. But IME with every ISTP I know... If a girl seems "really nice" to you, she's not interested... she's friggen' ravenous.

    I have actually heard that "I don't know if she likes me... she wore makeup... keeps asking me things... talks about her SO" thing so many times & usually these girls turn out to be absolutely floored for them. You guys have a way of being so laid back but non disclosed that you make it almost impossible for someone to be "all over you" when they want to be. They throw hints as subtle as they think yours 'might' be.

    And you guys are so nonjudgmental that if you even have a doubt she might want more than friendship you are probably 'trying' not to make a judgment by discrediting what would be obvious to intuition.

    Also, I don't know how common the ISTP type is. But to me you guys are so perplexing that you seem exotic & foreign, while at the same time obviously stable & self sustained. Perfect fantasy lover "get me away from my terrible relationship" profile.
    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    i thought nice girls were generally a good indication for anyone? Oo or is that what you're saying?
    I already addressed what struck me the most in first post, Kdude makes a good point in second.

    Quote Originally Posted by countrygirl View Post
    I'm not sure if I fell for the "mystery" type or not. If he was into me (and I him) great. If not, I didn't waste my time. I do perfer some emotional distance but I also expect that my husband confide in me first if a serious situation arose. And no, I don't go peeping into his soul.

    I didn't know about MBTI when I married him. One of the reason I did marry him was because he understood my need for space and to be alone. I didn't have to explain it to him. He also accepted me for me.
    aww

    Quote Originally Posted by countrygirl View Post
    I think you have it right. Some women use men as girlfriends not meaning it to be a sexual overture. Just using a shoulder to vent so to speak. Nothing wrong with having a decent conversation with the opposite sex. However, if she is bad mouthing her SO, that to me, is a red flag.

    I am curious to what advice your handyman book gives.
    Yeah, there's some bad mouthing going on. I try to avoid engaging into it, but only because of anecdotal evidence. I remain unconvinced this is a hard and fast rule, but I'll follow it just in case.

    I don't own the book. It's called How to Start a Home Based Handyman Business or something like that.

    Amazon.com: How to Start a Home-Based Handyman Business: *Turn your skills into cash *Schedule your jobs *Build word-of-mouth referrals *Manage insurance issues *Handle ... smart and safe (Home-Based Business Series) (9780762752775): Terry Meany: Boo

    I think the general jist of it was that some customers (implicitly: suburban housewives) order up handyman services for sexual reasons. Moral and ethical concerns aside, getting involved can seriously put you in deep shit, ruin your reputation, and might get you beat up/dead when husband walks in.


    One line I thought was funny was: 'besides, do you really think you're going to get around to fixing the sink following your afternoon tryst?'

    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  9. #69
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeafAndSky View Post
    [Has sudden vision of 'So You Want To Be A Handyman' book sales skyrocketing as frustrated, socially awkward young NT males discover a previously unconsidered career. Am omitting remark about needing to read the power tool manual.]
    YouTube - why men die early
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  10. #70
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    ....One line I thought was funny was: 'besides, do you really think you're going to get around to fixing the sink following your afternoon tryst?'

    Words of wisdom....

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