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  1. #41
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    My list:
    - not clingy
    - developed communication skills - especially body and intonation
    - not overly concerned with image
    - is interested in self-improvement

    Otherwise, I lack the experience to elaborate on this in an authoritative manner.
    Hey! That sounds like me! But wait...I'm married.

  2. #42
    Senior Member seamaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by countrygirl View Post
    Sounds like me when I was in my twenties. Maybe it's because she is not interested in getting married and consequently does not think of qualities in a man regarding marriage.

    When I decided that marriage was for me, I made a list of want I wanted in a man. It was half a page.
    She definitely wants marriage, but she's more the kind of person who's realistic in the sense that she'll take whatever falls in her lap, and not wait for the "real, complete deal". So if a hot (but still very young, struggling, confused-about-what-work-he-wants-to-do) guy wants to date her, she just goes for it, even if the prospect of a stable, secure life with him looks murky and uncertain (to outsiders). That is, even if what she has is less than ideal (to outsiders), she's optimistic that maybe it'll all work out fine in the end.

    And I wonder if that sort of hope-for-the-best attitude is an SP thing. I kinda envy that lack of worrying, the fearlessness. I'm impulsive when it comes to relationships as well, but the moment a red flag shows up, my tendency is to drop the guy like a hot potato (hence I have a few one night stands behind me). I think of all the reasons why it can't work out, whereas the SPs I know seem to do the opposite.

    As to how it relates to Bamboo's predicament, I think it's great that he's starting to identify a pattern and aware enough to want to do something about it. While in the present moment, it can seem exciting to have the attention of a taken woman, and things might seem swell, one must consider the past and future too to have a more complete perspective. As other posters have pointed out, it's good to know what YOU want - that's the future, and this knowledge is often guided by the mistakes and lessons of the past to determine your actions in the present.

    Anyway, what I want to know is where are all the cute, smart, SINGLE girls in your area, Bamboo???

  3. #43
    Senior Member milkyway2's Avatar
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    ISTP seems like "the other guy" personality

    sorry

    but not to make you feel bad i know some that are in relationships!

  4. #44
    Member Chuckums's Avatar
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    O.K. So you are going to stop this behavior, but I just gotta ask-What the hell were you thinking!?!? I knew you were a crazy motherfucker, but, good God man!

    Everything I would say has pretty much been said, so all right, story time, just for anybody that thinks it's OK to be the "other guy" for whatever reason:

    My ESFP cousin that I grew up with, basically, thought he could get away with anything, including doin' some guy's wife-But my cousin was on top of the world-untouchable-so he thought.

    The husband was a somewhat successful deer hunter-so he obviously knew how to use firearms. Hell, I even remember times when I had told my cousin "An attitude won't stop a bullet" This isn't the MATRIX you know, where Neo just waves his hand and bullets stop then fall to the ground.

    To make a long story short, husband confronts my cousin with a deer gun, shoots him, then shoots him again when he hits the ground-fatally-he died-get it? Although he was able to hang on and writhe in agony on the ground and then in the ambulance for 20 or so minutes.

    So, for anybody that thinks this behavior is O.K., please, don't wait until it's too late and you have some crazed BF/husband coming at you in a murderous rage with a gun, axe, knife, sledgehammer, automobile etc. Don't heed my warning and it will not be surprising in the least if you all of a sudden stop posting-permanently.

  5. #45
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by countrygirl View Post
    Hey! That sounds like me! But wait...I'm married.
    NOT FUNNY.

    Quote Originally Posted by seamaid View Post
    She definitely wants marriage, but she's more the kind of person who's realistic in the sense that she'll take whatever falls in her lap, and not wait for the "real, complete deal". So if a hot (but still very young, struggling, confused-about-what-work-he-wants-to-do) guy wants to date her,
    *cough*

    she just goes for it, even if the prospect of a stable, secure life with him looks murky and uncertain (to outsiders). That is, even if what she has is less than ideal (to outsiders), she's optimistic that maybe it'll all work out fine in the end.

    And I wonder if that sort of hope-for-the-best attitude is an SP thing. I kinda envy that lack of worrying, the fearlessness. I'm impulsive when it comes to relationships as well, but the moment a red flag shows up, my tendency is to drop the guy like a hot potato (hence I have a few one night stands behind me). I think of all the reasons why it can't work out, whereas the SPs I know seem to do the opposite.

    As to how it relates to Bamboo's predicament, I think it's great that he's starting to identify a pattern and aware enough to want to do something about it. While in the present moment, it can seem exciting to have the attention of a taken woman, and things might seem swell, one must consider the past and future too to have a more complete perspective. As other posters have pointed out, it's good to know what YOU want - that's the future, and this knowledge is often guided by the mistakes and lessons of the past to determine your actions in the present.

    Anyway, what I want to know is where are all the cute, smart, SINGLE girls in your area, Bamboo???
    Hell if I know.

    PS it generally doesn't feel "swell" as much as it does "conflicted" or "manic".

    Quote Originally Posted by Charles Isaac View Post
    O.K. So you are going to stop this behavior, but I just gotta ask-What the hell were you thinking!?!? I knew you were a crazy motherfucker, but, good God man!

    Everything I would say has pretty much been said, so all right, story time, just for anybody that thinks it's OK to be the "other guy" for whatever reason:

    ....

    To make a long story short, husband confronts my cousin with a deer gun, shoots him, then shoots him again when he hits the ground-fatally-he died-get it? Although he was able to hang on and writhe in agony on the ground and then in the ambulance for 20 or so minutes.

    So, for anybody that thinks this behavior is O.K., please, don't wait until it's too late and you have some crazed BF/husband coming at you in a murderous rage with a gun, axe, knife, sledgehammer, automobile etc. Don't heed my warning and it will not be surprising in the least if you all of a sudden stop posting-permanently.
    Point taken.

    Remember that thread where I joked about finding a cougar?

    Careful what you wish for...
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  6. #46
    Member Chuckums's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    Remember that thread where I joked about finding a cougar?
    Ha Ha! You gave a great answer too-chain that mother down-you'd do good in the Marines!

    For the human Cougars chicks that think they've seen it all-bring fresh razors and some really slippery shave cream-If they never had that done, you'll really blow their mind!

  7. #47
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Oh goody story time!

    About a year ago, my husband and I decided to hire a contractor to finish the renovation job in our kitchen.

    As the contractor was mudding the drywall in the kitchen, a feeling of naughtiness and a teasing mood overcame me.

    So I whipped out my frying pan and cooked bacon.

  8. #48
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    Ok, for the rest of this I'm going to answer responses in order, but I see you're in the thread now slippy so I ask: why do you believe this?

    I have reason to suspect the same.

    Years of observation and antidotal experience. It seems to be a pattern that continues to be repeated over time, unless there's a focused effort to overcome the behavior. I've seen a few friends learn the hard way.

    Why? I don't know, and really don't care. It is what it is.

    Almost like a predatory solicitation for empathy, "I'm not happy, I'm available! F* me!"

  10. #50
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    Whats with SP's n' bacon?

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