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Thread: Istp + Infp =

  1. #1
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    Default Istp + Infp =

    ? Is this coupling do-able?

    Our temperaments seem similar, the absolute reserve-ness, the intense emotions that we have hidden away, our quiet and laid-back demeanor, our sarcasm and darkish sense of humor. I think we sort of complement each other. A huge difference is that I need to plan and go after what I want and be very certain of what I want while he likes to just 'go with the flow' and see what happens. That sort of thinking always drives me crazy. He is actually more expressively affectionate than I am. He initiated a lot of the gooey stuff. But, I held deeper feelings though I don't express them.

    Not that it will stop me from trying, but I like to ... plan and be prepared. Anyone tried this?

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    Senior Member Heinel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    ? Is this coupling do-able?

    Our temperaments seem similar, the absolute reserve-ness, the intense emotions that we have hidden away, our quiet and laid-back demeanor, our sarcasm and darkish sense of humor. I think we sort of complement each other. A huge difference is that I need to plan and go after what I want and be very certain of what I want while he likes to just 'go with the flow' and see what happens. That sort of thinking always drives me crazy. He is actually more expressively affectionate than I am. He initiated a lot of the gooey stuff. But, I held deeper feelings though I don't express them.

    Not that it will stop me from trying, but I like to ... plan and be prepared. Anyone tried this?
    If you can get to the point where that "drives me crazy" bit can become "balances me out" then it should be safe sailing.
    Check out my blog: http://OrnateRitual.com

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    ? Is this coupling do-able?

    Our temperaments seem similar, the absolute reserve-ness, the intense emotions that we have hidden away, our quiet and laid-back demeanor, our sarcasm and darkish sense of humor. I think we sort of complement each other. A huge difference is that I need to plan and go after what I want and be very certain of what I want while he likes to just 'go with the flow' and see what happens. That sort of thinking always drives me crazy. He is actually more expressively affectionate than I am. He initiated a lot of the gooey stuff. But, I held deeper feelings though I don't express them.

    Not that it will stop me from trying, but I like to ... plan and be prepared. Anyone tried this?
    Does he respect your "planning" and allow you to do it because you want to? I personally dont mind planning to much. The only times it seems to cause issues for me is when it drains the fun and causes something that should be fun to be stressful. If you can manage fun and planning at the same time, then I dont think any ISTPs would have any issues with this. I personally dont usually have enough goals to create a need to plan. I usually rely on others to plan and just "go with their flow". One good thing is that I will not stress over a plan gone bad so you dont have to worry about me turning it back on you. Thats probably the best part about people who "go with the flow" we have no problems improvising, changing plans, detouring, etc.

    I generally dont care to know all the intricate details of a plan, I already know I will end up forgetting them. I just need to know what my part is along the way. To me that is go with the flow, which is what I like, but I would never force it on others. I have had to force this on my wife though and the result has been much better vacations on both sides. I still let her plan, but now she makes sure our schedule is not so tight that she stresses out. I am a busy body and enjoy being in a hurry as long as things remain enjoyable and emotions dont ruin things.

    Almost all of the INFPs I know in real life have always been to quiet for me to really get to know on a much deeper level. I have always enjoyed their company though.
    Im out, its been fun

  4. #4
    Just a statistic rhinosaur's Avatar
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    It's doable. Problem area will probably be that ISTPs aren't exactly known for expressing their emotions and want to be left alone most of the time, which the INFP is prone to interpreting as rejection.

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    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Was with an ISTP for almost a decade, on and off.

    Anything is possible.

    But, that being said...

    I don't really see this pairing be anywhere near ideal.

    :/
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

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    ♪♫♪♫♪♫ luminous beam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    ? Is this coupling do-able?

    Our temperaments seem similar, the absolute reserve-ness, the intense emotions that we have hidden away, our quiet and laid-back demeanor, our sarcasm and darkish sense of humor. I think we sort of complement each other. A huge difference is that I need to plan and go after what I want and be very certain of what I want while he likes to just 'go with the flow' and see what happens. That sort of thinking always drives me crazy. He is actually more expressively affectionate than I am. He initiated a lot of the gooey stuff. But, I held deeper feelings though I don't express them.

    Not that it will stop me from trying, but I like to ... plan and be prepared. Anyone tried this?
    i can see the INFP/ISTP match working if both couples are mature, not just in age, but in temperament. So when the ISTP has managed to work with his Fe and the INFP with their Te. Otherwise, i compare the experience to that of premature ejaculation lol Neither one really gets much out of it.


  7. #7
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by luminous beam View Post
    Otherwise, i compare the experience to that of premature ejaculation lol Neither one really gets much out of it.
    LOL!!!

    So incredibly funny, and TRUE!!!

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  8. #8
    Widdles in your cream.
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    ISFP/INTP relationships aren't said to be a very ideal relationship, with the poor communication and complete absence of shared functions. ISTP/INFP has the same problem. If we're going purely by type and excluding every other factor, I'd say the outlook isn't great. Technically, they're type opposites, but not exactly in the complementary style that an STP/NFJ relationship would have.
    Um, yeah.

  9. #9
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    ? Is this coupling do-able?
    Look at him as a man, not an ISTP. Go by what you know. What he does, what he says, what he's interested in, how he communicates.

    MBTT is great, but when it comes to romantic relationships, most especially a budding romance, it will only get in the way. It's inductive and can be misleading.

    Alright, now let me see what you've got here..

    Our temperaments seem similar, the absolute reserve-ness, the intense emotions that we have hidden away, our quiet and laid-back demeanor, our sarcasm and darkish sense of humor. I think we sort of complement each other. A huge difference is that I need to plan and go after what I want and be very certain of what I want while he likes to just 'go with the flow' and see what happens. That sort of thinking always drives me crazy. He is actually more expressively affectionate than I am. He initiated a lot of the gooey stuff. But, I held deeper feelings though I don't express them.
    So.

    You:
    -Reserved.
    -Depth of feeling.
    -Focused on security.

    Him:
    -Expressive
    -Affectionate
    -Spontaneous

    For this to work, he will need to demonstrate that he is not at risk of jeopardising the security you value (For example, if it's financial, he couldn't up and quit his job if the two of you had a mortgage to pay.) You may possibly end up needing to be more demonstrative of your affection, if that proves to be a problem.

  10. #10
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I definitely see the appeal...good choice

    Can't say I've tested it out though...so can't help ya, sorry
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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