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Thread: Istp + Infp =

  1. #61
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by McRumi View Post
    Then why do it? Sounds like co-dependent relationship.
    Well, if you read what I wrote, I don't now. But there's a lot of pressure on me to keep up contact with this person from my husband and this person doesn't have many other emo support systems and his situation is oppressive. Life is never all black and white.

    But it just got too frustrating. One of their issues is a lack of money for the wife's medications but he won't check into other avenues of getting access to those medications. Like drug companies have programs for people with lower income but it takes a lot of paperwork and he says he has no patience for it and she needs to be the one who fills it out and yet when she's off her meds, she can't handle most things in daily life, it's just not reasonable to expect she could organize and file that stuff (she's the ISFJ there but when sick she's a mess) and he says well she just needs to learn to handle them then! So mote it be, he says it and it happens I guess.

    So this is when I lost all patience with him.

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Well, if you read what I wrote, I don't now. But there's a lot of pressure on me to keep up contact with this person from my husband and this person doesn't have many other emo support systems and his situation is oppressive. Life is never all black and white.

    But it just got too frustrating. One of their issues is a lack of money for the wife's medications but he won't check into other avenues of getting access to those medications. Like drug companies have programs for people with lower income but it takes a lot of paperwork and he says he has no patience for it and she needs to be the one who fills it out and yet when she's off her meds, she can't handle most things in daily life and he says well she just needs to learn to handle them then! So mote it be, he says it and it happens I guess.

    So this is when I lost all patience with him.
    Do you know an ENFJ that could step in? This is where that dominant Fe would come in handy in rectifying the problems directly with the wife and taking it upon herself(ENFJ taking responsibility) to see what can be done to reach these other avenues. This is when ENFJs really shine in getting crap done. They are awesome mediators when it comes to dealing with a person and systems like this.

    edit: sorry, derailed trying to solve problem. You cant hold type against me
    Im out, its been fun

  3. #63
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    It's not a romance relationship. It's a family relationship. I don't really consider 30 to be all that young and he's the one who wants the emo support. He's self destructive and gets himself into mess after mess with his wife and wants to spend hours venting and asking "what should I do now?" then after we spend all this time talking about his issues then he wants to deeply debate my suggestions and I am like WTF, either you take my advice or don't, it is up to you, but don't solicit advice and then turn around and use to attack me...God it is so draining and frustrating.
    I agree that said person seems unhealthy. However. I don't know the details and can't comment on this ISTP further. I can give you my perspective on asking advice and then challenging the answers.

    I do this when I don't feel understood. It's not challenging but more correcting the person's perception of the issue they're giving advice on. I like for someone giving me advice to give it considering who I am as a person rather than from their own experience. But that could just be my preference.

    EDIT: I just read the above post. He sounds overwhelmed. Lots of paperwork/red tape is my idea of hell. I don't know where to start! :eek: Perhaps, giving him the first step would be beneficial. Don't just tell him what to do but give him the specific solid information in which to do it with. When people tell me to call someplace to get something done. I procrastinate. But if someone hands me the phone number I'll call right away. *shrug* I don't know. It might help. Once the initial step is taken the rest of them fall into place.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    EDIT: I just read the above post. He sounds overwhelmed. Lots of paperwork/red tape is my idea of hell. I don't know where to start! :eek: Perhaps, giving him the first step would be beneficial. Don't just tell him what to do but give him the specific solid information in which to do it with. When people tell me to call someplace to get something done. I procrastinate. But if someone hands me the phone number I'll call right away. *shrug* I don't know. It might help. Once the initial step is taken the rest of them fall into place.
    Tried this, repeatedly. Anyway, I don't want to turn this thread into something it isn't supposed to be.

  5. #65
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    It was worth a shot. Moving on...

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    He (istp) is intelligent and can speak with authority and passion about several subjects....

    Key in on these topics. They are the latch to the window to open us up.
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  6. #66
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    I seem to be having problems this time around. It seems I am in hyper-sensitive/hyper-thinker mode. It used to be very natural between us.

  7. #67
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    My emo would be satisfied with a lap to lay my head on and regular sex. Someone willing to help me make crazy ideas come true would help, though.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  8. #68
    Senior Member McRumi's Avatar
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    well, to sum up: ISTP+INFP=not so great.

    your mileage may vary.

  9. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    I seem to be having problems this time around. It seems I am in hyper-sensitive/hyper-thinker mode. It used to be very natural between us.
    How much do you talk to him about this mode you are in? If you do how does he respond? Are you possibly in Fi-Ne mode? Try him out see if he can keep up In an INFP/ISTP one is gonna have to be an E Try to figure out which areas each other is more comfortable in being in E mode and take that role on.
    Im out, its been fun

  10. #70
    Senior Member seamaid's Avatar
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    I'm in a relationship with an ISTP and it's still going strong after 9 months. That's not a lot of time, of course, but we've successfully been through road trips, big holidays, both birthdays, a serious injury-accident, meet-the-mom (his), and (temporary) cohabitation together. So it feels like we've packed in a lot of experience with each other.

    It's a bit like whitewater rafting, and every time *I* thought we couldn't make it, we did, and were rewarded with a gorgeous, tranquil vista. I think the INFP tends to do all the worrying about the relationship whenever she encounters the tiniest flaw, whereas the ISTP remains cheerful and optimistic, which is wonderful because it helps stabilize the rocky moments.

    Communication is our weak point (and yes, he has to be the extrovert a lot of times), but problems are always quickly solved. We're both patient, flexible and open to letting the other person grow at his own pace, which is essential to each other's happiness. I find that (after a state of trust is reached - might take months) it's a very conflict-free relationship, 99% of the time. What conflict there is, is usually due to my paranoia/insecurity/imagination, or his weak Fe (and he's not beyond acting out on insecurity himself). More importantly, we believe these are things we can work on improving because the relationship is totally worth the effort.

    So why is it worth it? I could type a million words on this. There is a lot to the INFP that just works with a mature and patient ISTP. It's better if the INFP is mature too. And truly, if there's anything that's not quite there, it's not a big deal... it's always open to improvement and fine-tuning (this is a central philosophy of ours), and it's entirely of our own free will... no pressure to change. It is more important to just be there for each other. What I often find hard to realize is that just being me is enough for him.

    He loves to impress by performance, show off his quick wit, share his knowledge and his world, parade his good looks, and I love to admire, learn, and feel close to him. We both enjoy giving, albeit in different ways. When it comes to emotional stroking or romance, he's terribly efficient (or deficient), but it doesn't take a lot to keep me happy. Just knowing he's got a melty heart deep inside (which peeks out at certain moments) is generally F enough for me. Basically, he knows he's got an amazing girlfriend in me, and I know I've got an amazing boyfriend in him. It's inconceivable right now to imagine we'd give up on something that's so comfy and happy. The future looks long, bright and exciting for us, so long as we both strive toward our personal ideas of awesomeness (which tend to agree) and not let things get stagnant.

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