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Thread: Istp + Infp =

  1. #51
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Not true.

    On a side note, the ISTP I know best is so clueless about his emo life and always wanting sympathy and advice. But there's no help for this dude. He thinks he knows it all (so why he wants advice, I never understand) and he is so black and white literal about everything. It just exhausts me to deal with him.

    He just speaks a totally different language and sometimes when I see him on caller id, I don't pick up because I just can't face dealing with him. Then I feel really bad about it.

    His favorite expression: "That's stupid!" And I wanted to ask "If I am the stupid one, why are you bothering to ask my advice?" And then he wants to debate the advice and all this and I am just like so not interested in it. You asked my advice, I listened to you and gave it, now leave me alone! Sure, you decide what to do with what I've said, take or trash it, but don't call me stupid and don't debate endlessly with me over it.

    But his heart is in the right place and he's a good guy.
    Hahahahaa, you're friends with my ISTP ex, who knew?!?!?!

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  2. #52
    Senior Member McRumi's Avatar
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    Clarification.

    Calling a person's idea stupid is not calling that person stupid.

    It's a T/F thing.

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by McRumi View Post
    Clarification.

    Calling a person's idea stupid is not calling that person stupid.

    It's a T/F thing.
    I don't care which he means, whether it is my idea or me that he thinks is stupid. I give him my time and attention and he drains me and then insults me (be it my ideas or my person).

    It is like I had better things to do with my time than go over his life story for the 100th time. What good does it all do? He won't take advice, he can't see the forest for the trees himself, he keeps knocking his head against the wall. It's painful and frustrating.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Yes. I suppose his emotion is frustration.



    We spend hours on this stuff. Believe me, I know more details than I ever wanted to know.



    One of the issues is that his wife has been diagnosed with mental and physical health issues and he wants to believe she could over come it through self discipline alone and his idea to help her is to nag her. His nagging sends her into periods of self loathing and she gets worse in her mental state. And the nagging never makes her overcome. And he says: "What can I do to get her to listen to me?"

    I say well, if you know this, then why nag her. His reaction is that he overcomes the days when he feels tired or has low motivation by pushing on and why can't she? Why because she's lazy! I say well you really can't compare her to yourself because she's sick and you're not. And he gets super frustrated and tells me I am not listening that he can overcome his off days and he knows she can too.

    He will debate the whole thing, even if shown medical articles or psychology articles. He wants to believe what he wants to believe. Which I have no problem with but just don't keep calling me and bugging me for advice on what to do!

    Then there's there's other problems that he has because of his "outside activites" and her resentment of those activities.

    Then the fact that his Mama can't let him go, even after a decade of marriage no less, and has jealous hate of his wife and his difficulty in understanding why his wife can't just turn the other cheek when she's treated hatefully by his family. He asks how to handle her, I say take care of your thing with your mother, stand up for your wife. It is like, she already has mental issues, this strife doesn't help her. His answer: "Well, when people upset me, I just turn the other cheek, why can't my wife?"

    I am like "You have all the answers already, why do you keep asking for advice?"



    Yes, that's part of it.



    He asks why I don't pick up the phone and I've explained this to him and guess what? That's stupid.
    And that wont end until 50?

    Next time he asks why you dont answer, say "I took your advice and decided to turn the other cheek to your problems, your a big boy learn to deal with it by changing" Can Fi do this? He will not say thats stupid

    It actually reminds me of my 5 year old son and the conversation I had the other day in how there are 2 sides to everything. He kept getting mad because the other kids kept getting him in trouble because they laughed when he acted goofy.

    edit: of course he will probably respond "your stupid"
    Im out, its been fun

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I don't care which he means, whether it is my idea or me that he thinks is stupid. I give him my time and attention and he drains me and then insults me (be it my ideas or my person).

    It is like I had better things to do with my time than go over his life story for the 100th time. What good does it all do? He won't take advice, he can't see the forest for the trees himself, he keeps knocking his head against the wall. It's painful and frustrating.
    This is why I am glad I can turn off the fact that I care
    Im out, its been fun

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    This is why I am glad I can turn off the fact that I care
    I am capable of using caller id.

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I am capable of using caller id.


    I am working to help my son understand how to handle these instances.

    Sounds like tertiary temptation
    "I can't possibly go along with this, because it would mar my soul. It's not 'me'. I am a good person, and in order to maintain my integrity, I need to steer clear of this. This is the responsibility of those other people: it emerges from their souls, not mine, so it's their problem."
    Im out, its been fun

  8. #58
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    ^ That's tertirary Fi, isn't it?

  9. #59
    Senior Member McRumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I don't care which he means, whether it is my idea or me that he thinks is stupid. I give him my time and attention and he drains me and then insults me (be it my ideas or my person).

    It is like I had better things to do with my time than go over his life story for the 100th time. What good does it all do? He won't take advice, he can't see the forest for the trees himself, he keeps knocking his head against the wall. It's painful and frustrating.
    Then why do it? Sounds like co-dependent relationship.

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    ^ That's tertirary Fi, isn't it?
    That sounded the best fit description, but this also seems to fit which is tertiary Ni, but the other seemed to be a better fit. I can actually see time in myself that I fit a lot of different types of tertiary functions.

    "I can't possibly go along with this, 'cuz it's all a lie. It's all a set-up by the Man. I'd just be serving his interests and not my own. I'm not gonna be suckered by all this self-serving bull. No way, man, I gotta go my own way."
    Im out, its been fun

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