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Thread: Istp + Infp =

  1. #11
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    ... a temptation should the opportunity arise and enough interests are held in common.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    ? Is this coupling do-able?

    Our temperaments seem similar, the absolute reserve-ness, the intense emotions that we have hidden away, our quiet and laid-back demeanor, our sarcasm and darkish sense of humor. I think we sort of complement each other. A huge difference is that I need to plan and go after what I want and be very certain of what I want while he likes to just 'go with the flow' and see what happens. That sort of thinking always drives me crazy. He is actually more expressively affectionate than I am. He initiated a lot of the gooey stuff. But, I held deeper feelings though I don't express them.

    Not that it will stop me from trying, but I like to ... plan and be prepared. Anyone tried this?
    Some ISTPs are very good in bed. Aside from that possible attraction, this is one of the more predictably bad pairings...

  3. #13
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    The planning/preparation vs. his "going with the flow" thing sounds like you're describing a conflict between a J type and a P type.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  4. #14
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    The situation is often:

    _ISTPs find INFPs sweet but boring (like ISFJs elsewhere)

    _INFPs find ISTP smart and attractive but harsh and jerky

    There's usually mutual tolerance and respect between the two, both find the other person very likeable and interesting, but there's rarely passion and real love.

    That does'nt seem really ideal.

    But it can have some exceptions:

    Famous INFP/ISTP couple:
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

    Chaotic Neutral

    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  5. #15
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    We already gave it a go but he wasn't 'ready' the first time and that didn't go well, though there wasn't a lack of passion, so I decided to give it another chance after he apologized(s), because it is what I want and no use denying what I want. I have become quite a live big kind of person instead of obsessively introspective. I generally talk a lot about analytical stuff. That is a problem. It is very strange, he talks more than I do, and he talks about very personal experiences and feelings/thoughts. Types who usually don't do that do that with me very often; makes me uncomfortable, all the mush.

    @ Beauty & the Beast

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    The planning/preparation vs. his "going with the flow" thing sounds like you're describing a conflict between a J type and a P type.
    This is where Se and Ne see different things. Planning and preparation isnt a J thing. Following it to a fault is a J thing.

    One NFP I have interacted with was a very heavy planner, but the plans were not set in stone, but were pushed for very hard. It always seemed to flex and bend with life as opposed to life flexing and bending for the plan.

    To me the difference between J/P has to do with default behaviour as opposed to some detail. We can all act like someone else, but we will always eventually fall into our default behaviour. For me my P comes out with an NFP plan when they flex and bend to life, I flex and bend with them.

    The biggest hurdle I can see is that INFP and ISTP are very reserved and would struggle with not becoming stagnant because of lack of interaction. This is what I notice IRL where as a more active person keeps us more on our toes and constantly interacting. A combination of Se and Ti and in the moment allows me to follow where ever Ne decides it wants to go. Detach from my logic and see things from what they present like figuring out their logic to understand where they are coming from and seeing if it makes sense or not. Not really forcing my logic on them(atleast try not to), but take on their logic and keep it seperate from my own internal judgements. At some point I may decide to take on their logic as my own and then decide to either accept it as my own or discard it as my judgement but still allow it to be their judgement and still understand it.
    Im out, its been fun

  7. #17
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    Look at him as a man, not an ISTP. Go by what you know. What he does, what he says, what he's interested in, how he communicates.

    MBTT is great, but when it comes to romantic relationships, most especially a budding romance, it will only get in the way. It's inductive and can be misleading.
    +1

    Just think about how you feel when you're around him (good and bad days) and whether you have common interests and more importantly, outlooks on life. If he or you is constantly saying things and the other is thinking then maybe it will be difficult to work long term. I'm mentioning that specifically because I tend to do that when most of the infps in my life say stuff.

    MBTI may be valuable for predicting the areas where you may have conflicts, though I wouldn't use it as a predictor of the relationship itself.
    -end of thread-

  8. #18
    Senior Member McRumi's Avatar
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    My neighbor is an INFP. Fantastic neighbor...we get along just fine. But live with??? Nooooo!
    WAY too emotive/touchy-feely/wishy-washy/clingy.

    ISTPs need someone who looks good (external sensing) but also plenty smart (internal thinking). it's just tough finding someone who's both physically attractive, smart and yet very low maintenance.

    ESTJs are great...as long as you keep them in check.

  9. #19
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McRumi View Post
    ESTJs are great...as long as you keep them in check.


    To the OP. Has he always been this "gooey" and emotionally expressive? Or was this after the first go around?
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  10. #20
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    From the beginning, he was the 'spill my guts' one and extremely affectionate.

    My neighbor is an INFP. Fantastic neighbor...we get along just fine. But live with??? Nooooo!
    WAY too emotive/touchy-feely/wishy-washy/clingy.


    He did tell me once that I am clingy.

    ISTPs need someone who looks good (external sensing) but also plenty smart (internal thinking). it's just tough finding someone who's both physically attractive, smart and yet very low maintenance.

    Well, I am all of those things. Isn't he lucky...

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