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  1. #1
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    Default ESTP Detachment

    An ESTP broke up with me - a few days later she was banned from the building I (and she until then) live in.

    She still wanted to be friends, but I'm ready to simply never talk to her again. We haven't talked since she'd been kicked out. I'm not calling her. We have plenty mutual friends, so run-ins are almost unavoidable.

    ESTPs, how do you react in these situations? Really - the way she broke up with me was almost INFJ. She got really weird about disrespecting me for her feelings for someone else (even though she doesn't intend to pursue that person).

    I'm at the point where I'm choosing whether or not I want to talk to/see her again. Ever. So - should I erase her from my life? Does this hurt them - or do they just not give a shit? I hope it's the latter...
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
    enneagram - 7/5/3

  2. #2
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fill View Post
    An ESTP broke up with me - a few days later she was banned from the building I (and she until then) live in.

    She still wanted to be friends, but I'm ready to simply never talk to her again. We haven't talked since she'd been kicked out. I'm not calling her. We have plenty mutual friends, so run-ins are almost unavoidable.

    ESTPs, how do you react in these situations? Really - the way she broke up with me was almost INFJ. She got really weird about disrespecting me for her feelings for someone else (even though she doesn't intend to pursue that person).

    I'm at the point where I'm choosing whether or not I want to talk to/see her again. Ever. So - should I erase her from my life? Does this hurt them - or do they just not give a shit? I hope it's the latter...

    Do what you need to do for you. Don't worry about her. In such situations I look out for #1. I don't stonewall people who don't deserve it, and I don't make any extra efforts to keep shitty people in my life. It's all a case by case basis for me. To answer your question more directly, most of the time we don't care. If she has a major pscho hissy fit over you carving her out of your life, she might be an ESTJ, especially considering the breakup style. I know one who is loony like that. Good luck. -Halla
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  3. #3
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    Good answer. Thanks.

    My dilemma involves her having MY FAVORITE FUCKING BOOK and me having her DVDs. God dammit.
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
    enneagram - 7/5/3

  4. #4
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fill View Post
    Good answer. Thanks.

    My dilemma involves her having MY FAVORITE FUCKING BOOK and me having her DVDs. God dammit.
    You're welcome, anytime. What FUCKING BOOK is it? How many of her DVDs do you have? It seems you have the upper hand with regards to collateral, unless that is one bad ass fucking book. PM me if you like.
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  5. #5
    Supreme High Commander Andy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fill View Post
    Good answer. Thanks.

    My dilemma involves her having MY FAVORITE FUCKING BOOK and me having her DVDs. God dammit.
    Can't you arrange a hostage exchange?

  6. #6
    Senior Member une_autre's Avatar
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    From the picture you have drawn, it's rather difficult to say who's the bad guy here.

    It doesn't seem like she pulled major stuff on you. Or you didn't say anything like this.

    I don't agree with erasing people from one's life without a serious reason.

    And you know, we all bleed red, regardless of the type. So yeah, she will probably give a damn. You are the one that should know better if she cared or not, though.

  7. #7
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by une_autre View Post
    From the picture you have drawn, it's rather difficult to say who's the bad guy here.

    It doesn't seem like she pulled major stuff on you. Or you didn't say anything like this.

    I don't agree with erasing people from one's life without a serious reason.

    And you know, we all bleed red, regardless of the type. So yeah, she will probably give a damn. You are the one that should know better if she cared or not, though.
    Your perception depends on the specifics. I'm not comfortable giving them out for the entire internet to see; however, I can say that my (our) friends agree I was, for the most part, dicked over. I have absolutely no way of telling whether she cares or not without a. sitting down and talking to her for a long time or b. sitting down and talking to one of her friends for a long time. Seriously - I swear NJs and SPs can look like their life is dandy as hell when it's a train wreck deep down. We had a talk in which not much was said, but a lot was meant - and it hurt the hell out of the both of us. However, I'm not going to hope for someone's lingering pain so I can have some sort of advantage - that's stupid and unethical - I'm not interested in collecting any more data to follow the good ol' scientific method (yes I am interested, but for the good of my mental state, I'll just not). Basically, this shit hurts. A lot. The only way (so far) I've been able to get over something like this is to take a nice, long break from them. Completely. Give it six months and I'll be all up to hang out and have fun (maybe my rollercoaster in life won't be slowly creeping downhill at that point).

    I'll PM you, Halla.
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
    enneagram - 7/5/3

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