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[ESTP] ESTP Detachment

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"Everything in its place"
Joined
Jun 28, 2009
Messages
507
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
753
An ESTP broke up with me - a few days later she was banned from the building I (and she until then) live in.

She still wanted to be friends, but I'm ready to simply never talk to her again. We haven't talked since she'd been kicked out. I'm not calling her. We have plenty mutual friends, so run-ins are almost unavoidable.

ESTPs, how do you react in these situations? Really - the way she broke up with me was almost INFJ. She got really weird about disrespecting me for her feelings for someone else (even though she doesn't intend to pursue that person).

I'm at the point where I'm choosing whether or not I want to talk to/see her again. Ever. So - should I erase her from my life? Does this hurt them - or do they just not give a shit? I hope it's the latter...
 

Halla74

Artisan Conquerer
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
6,898
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
An ESTP broke up with me - a few days later she was banned from the building I (and she until then) live in.

She still wanted to be friends, but I'm ready to simply never talk to her again. We haven't talked since she'd been kicked out. I'm not calling her. We have plenty mutual friends, so run-ins are almost unavoidable.

ESTPs, how do you react in these situations? Really - the way she broke up with me was almost INFJ. She got really weird about disrespecting me for her feelings for someone else (even though she doesn't intend to pursue that person).

I'm at the point where I'm choosing whether or not I want to talk to/see her again. Ever. So - should I erase her from my life? Does this hurt them - or do they just not give a shit? I hope it's the latter...


Do what you need to do for you. Don't worry about her. In such situations I look out for #1. I don't stonewall people who don't deserve it, and I don't make any extra efforts to keep shitty people in my life. It's all a case by case basis for me. To answer your question more directly, most of the time we don't care. If she has a major pscho hissy fit over you carving her out of your life, she might be an ESTJ, especially considering the breakup style. I know one who is loony like that. Good luck. -Halla
 

fill

"Everything in its place"
Joined
Jun 28, 2009
Messages
507
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
753
Good answer. Thanks. :yes:

My dilemma involves her having MY FAVORITE FUCKING BOOK and me having her DVDs. God dammit.
 

Halla74

Artisan Conquerer
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
6,898
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Good answer. Thanks. :yes:

My dilemma involves her having MY FAVORITE FUCKING BOOK and me having her DVDs. God dammit.

You're welcome, anytime. What FUCKING BOOK is it? How many of her DVDs do you have? It seems you have the upper hand with regards to collateral, unless that is one bad ass fucking book. :laugh: PM me if you like. ;)
 

Andy

Supreme High Commander
Joined
Nov 16, 2009
Messages
1,211
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Good answer. Thanks. :yes:

My dilemma involves her having MY FAVORITE FUCKING BOOK and me having her DVDs. God dammit.

Can't you arrange a hostage exchange?
 

une_autre

New member
Joined
Oct 13, 2009
Messages
114
MBTI Type
ESTP
From the picture you have drawn, it's rather difficult to say who's the bad guy here.

It doesn't seem like she pulled major stuff on you. Or you didn't say anything like this.

I don't agree with erasing people from one's life without a serious reason.

And you know, we all bleed red, regardless of the type. So yeah, she will probably give a damn. You are the one that should know better if she cared or not, though.
 

fill

"Everything in its place"
Joined
Jun 28, 2009
Messages
507
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
753
From the picture you have drawn, it's rather difficult to say who's the bad guy here.

It doesn't seem like she pulled major stuff on you. Or you didn't say anything like this.

I don't agree with erasing people from one's life without a serious reason.

And you know, we all bleed red, regardless of the type. So yeah, she will probably give a damn. You are the one that should know better if she cared or not, though.

Your perception depends on the specifics. I'm not comfortable giving them out for the entire internet to see; however, I can say that my (our) friends agree I was, for the most part, dicked over. I have absolutely no way of telling whether she cares or not without a. sitting down and talking to her for a long time or b. sitting down and talking to one of her friends for a long time. Seriously - I swear NJs and SPs can look like their life is dandy as hell when it's a train wreck deep down. We had a talk in which not much was said, but a lot was meant - and it hurt the hell out of the both of us. However, I'm not going to hope for someone's lingering pain so I can have some sort of advantage - that's stupid and unethical - I'm not interested in collecting any more data to follow the good ol' scientific method (yes I am interested, but for the good of my mental state, I'll just not). Basically, this shit hurts. A lot. The only way (so far) I've been able to get over something like this is to take a nice, long break from them. Completely. Give it six months and I'll be all up to hang out and have fun (maybe my rollercoaster in life won't be slowly creeping downhill at that point).

I'll PM you, Halla.
 
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