[SP] SP's and Conflict

[KDude]

The recent ISTP thread reminded me of something..

My reason for being at this site was to understand my proclivity towards conflict (among other things, but that's a big aspect of it). I score IS*P a lot, but I'm wondering if tests are inadequate.

Anyways, which SP's are more comfortable with conflict?

 

[Halla74]

The recent ISTP thread reminded me of something..

My reason for being at this site was to understand my proclivity towards conflict (among other things, but that's a big aspect of it). I score IS*P a lot, but I'm wondering if tests are inadequate.

Anyways, which SP's are more comfortable with conflict?

I thrive in situations of conflict. I have never felt anxious or unable to assert myself, verball or physically. Conflict is a part of life. There are people out there (aka sociopaths) who have gotten away with using elementary school bullying techniques to manipulate and intimdate others their whole lives. I love bumping into these people. I love giving them their much needed wake-up call.

If you know what you're talking about, and you are of good moral and ethical fiber, and you feel wronged by what someone said or did, then it is appropriate for you to engage the offending individual and make the situation right. If you let other people push you around then no one will respect you. When that happens, you have two choices (1) take shit, or (2) open up a can of whoop ass.

I myself have never been able to take shit. There is one way to deal with conflict: HEAD-ON.

 

[ayoitsStepho]

I'd think that the ESTP's (possibly ISTPs too) are comfortable with conflict.
I, myself, tend to be ok with conflict but I usually kinda freak out just as well when conflict arises. I'm the one hauling it out of there.

edit: Of course, if someone brought a conflict TO me, then I can deal with it (though I can't say I'm completely in my right mind. I probably panic)

 

[KDude]

I thrive in situations of conflict. I have never felt anxious or unable to assert myself, verball or physically. Conflict is a part of life. There are people out there (aka sociopaths) who have gotten away with using elementary school bullying techniques to manipulate and intimdate others their whole lives. I love bumping into these people. I love giving them their much needed wake-up call.

If you know what you're talking about, and you are of good moral and ethical fiber, and you feel wronged by what someone said or did, then it is appropriate for you to engage the offending individual and make the situation right. If you let other people push you around then no one will respect you. When that happens, you have two choices (1) take shit, or (2) open up a can of whoop ass.

I myself have never been able to take shit. There is one way to deal with conflict: HEAD-ON.

Heh you ESTP's are so balls out hardcore though.. ;D I'm not sure I'm exactly the same. I relate to much of what you said about seeing an offense, and stopping them. I do believe in facing things head on.. But are you willing to settle with them remaining enemies? I'm never good at that. It seems like an ESTP could leave them on the floor once you're done. Even if I elevate things to conflict, I'm always trying to improve the situation afterwards in some way. "Sorry I did that, but.." "Sorry I said that, but.." I still look for some harmony and all that.

Additionally, one time I got my ass kicked severely - like big size 15 cowboy boots to the face and balls -- and I deserved it in this case -- but thing was, the whole time I was laughing. Pissed the guy off even more. I'm laughing about it now. But I wonder if that's a "ESFP/Performer" thing. Or am I just fucked up?

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

I've had many good arguments with ESTPs, always though ENTPs and ESTPs were least sensitive about the development of conflict. The introverted thinkers might not care either, but you don't seem them arguing as much. The Js don't seem to get the point of the sometimes pointless arguments that can go on and on among ExTPs.

 

[Sinmara]

When I was a child, I used to put my head down and charge into every little conflict like a raging bull. In my teenage years I got pretty quiet and withdrawn and very avoidant, but I returned to my fiesty old self when I hit my 20s.

I learned the hard way that avoiding conflict for the sake of not upsetting people only prolongs it and leaves you feeling like a doormat. Sometimes people need to be upset. Sometimes you need to fly your freak flag and proudly flip everyone the birdy without shame or apology.

Of course, there is a time and a place for everything and I've had to learn to choose my battles. Or, you know, pretend that I'm backing down but just do what I want anyway.

 

[KDude]

I've had many good arguments with ESTPs, always though ENTPs and ESTPs were least sensitive about the development of conflict. The introverted thinkers might not care either, but you don't seem them arguing as much. The Js don't seem to get the point of the sometimes pointless arguments that can go on and on among ExTPs.

No, I don't argue much. Arguments tend to be light hearted for me, and once people have made their points, I assume it's done. If anything, I try to see the humor in everyone's differences. I only get confrontational when there's a certain lack of respect for my space (and sometimes, everyone else's).

Just to add, I haven't gotten physically confrontational in like 5 or 6 years actually. So it's not a common occurrence. But there's past behavior that doesn't line up with ISFP, for sure. They sound like hippies, who at worst, are only holding grudges secretly. OTOH I tend to express my differences with people fairly quickly. And as for ISTP, that recent thread confused me. Everyone thinks they're chill. Well.. I'm not. lol.. Not all the time at least.

[edit] Btw, not sure what the differences are with socionics, but I get SEE there (ESFP).

 

[SilkRoad]

If you let other people push you around then no one will respect you. When that happens, you have two choices (1) take shit, or (2) open up a can of whoop ass.

This made me LOL. I really need to try to be just a little bit more like this.

*lets the SPs get back to it*

 

[McRumi]

ISTP are practical problem solvers with a performance drive. If there are no problems to solve, we'll create some. So creating conflict is inevitable....unless you position yourself in life so that your career and lifestyle presents you with lots of ongoing problems to solve. We also get excited when there is talk about natural disasters...not because we enjoy destruction etc, but because they bring innumerable practical problems to solve. Relationships with lots of separation built in helps...day-to-day can get monotonous and provoke the conflict-loving beast.

 

[Halla74]

Heh you ESTP's are so balls out hardcore though.. ;D

In our case the "S" stands for "Stubborn." We can't back down, it's not in our DNA.

I'm not sure I'm exactly the same. I relate to much of what you said about seeing an offense, and stopping them. I do believe in facing things head on.. But are you willing to settle with them remaining enemies?

Yeah, sure, once the fight is over I can be civil with them if they are up to it. Quick to anger, quick to forgive. That's been the case in every throw down I've been in, next time you see the guy it's over, you just nod to each other and that's that, it's over, you give each other space and common respect for having the wherewithall to go through with it, and move on.

I'm never good at that. It seems like an ESTP could leave them on the floor once you're done. Even if I elevate things to conflict, I'm always trying to improve the situation afterwards in some way. "Sorry I did that, but.." "Sorry I said that, but.." I still look for some harmony and all that.

But if it's just some random D-bag that really overstepped their boundaries, I see no need to reconcile whatsoever, they got what they asked for, and should consider it a lesson of how to improve themselves.

Additionally, one time I got my ass kicked severely - like big size 15 cowboy boots to the face and balls -- and I deserved it in this case -- but thing was, the whole time I was laughing. Pissed the guy off even more. I'm laughing about it now. But I wonder if that's a "ESFP/Performer" thing. Or am I just fucked up?

WHOA! You really screwed with that dude's mind by laughing at him while he walloped you. That takes guts, good for you! That reminds me of Daniel Craig in the James Bond movie where it starts, and he is naked, tied to a chair with the seat cut out, and this dude is swinging a huge rope with a know on it and swings it under Bond's chair, so that the rope with its big knot and all its momentum hit Bond's balls. :horor: Bond just laughed at the guy, over and over again, it was an awesome scene. I don't think you're fucked up, I think you have the capacity to forego the fear typically associated with physical pain. You knew it was coming, and you disengaged it. Rock on to you, Bro.

I learned the hard way that avoiding conflict for the sake of not upsetting people only prolongs it and leaves you feeling like a doormat. Sometimes people need to be upset. Sometimes you need to fly your freak flag and proudly flip everyone the birdy without shame or apology.

This. ^ Awesome reply.

 

[sLiPpY]

referring to KDude's story about laughing at teh' boots.

Made my dad mad as hell I'd laugh when he'd spank me. Spank harder,
laugh louder.

No more whoopin's after that.

 

[Halla74]

referring to KDude's story about laughing at teh' boots.

Made my dad mad as hell I'd laugh when he'd spank me. Spank harder,
laugh louder.

No more whoopin's after that.

You psycho!

I would have ended up in the ER if I pulled that.

 

[sLiPpY]

Well, it's not like I wasn't limpn' for a day or so...

I'd just look at him and smile.

 

[Riva]

Anyways, which SP's are more comfortable with conflict?

ISTPs.

Why?
They don't go in to a conflict like a raging bull. They wait and see all the facts and when opportunity presents itself 'Bang' they strike.

Ti - Waits and analyze
Se - Launches the attack

Ni - See's long term aspects of points presented/implied by the opponent
Fe - butters things up (When needed)

 

[Riva]

One major reason why ISTPs thrive in conflicts is because they can quickly analyze (Ti/sum up) the situation. And nothing thrives on opportunities as much as Se. (Ne creates opportunity, Se sees and improvises).

Afterward Ni sees where things are going (future) really really really fast. And they (ISTPs) will use Fe if that is what is most appropriate (or if their Ni tells them they are going to get screwed.)

 

[Hirsch63]

Conflict often baffles me, one moment things are going along smoothly and all of a sudden here is this chaotic element thrown up in front of me. If it is a physical threatening thing I answer back at once. If it is relationship oriented I will try to harness my emotions and sort it out, but I must admit that it is in this area that I will try to avoid any conflict because I am pretty sure it is my fault, or it will end up being anyway (can I get a witness?). At work I am usually at odds with any supervisor....and will often stop at nothing to assert my views once I have made a thoughtful analysis of the problem...which is almost always their fault (of course) and usually puts me way down on the list of "team player" candidates.

 

[Randomnity]

I don't like conflict and try to avoid it - though I try to avoid it by rationally arguing things and avoiding miscommunication. If it's important to me I will try to figure out a logical way of arguing my point, though sometimes it's just not worth the effort honestly. It's also easier for me to express conflicting opinions in writing or online. Arguing with people is very draining, especially in person.

edit: despite this though I'm pretty bad for pointing out flaws in people arguments, I need to be more careful with that

 

[Poki]

I drive my wife nuts because I pull back in the middle of an argument and analyze our argument and turn the argument on itself and end up argueing about the argument

 

[Poki]

You psycho!

I would have ended up in the ER if I pulled that.

My son tried that, I pulled back as I knew where it was going and changed the punishment right then and their and took something away.

It was like spank...laugh...harder...laugh....your going to bed early....cries.

next time

spank...laugh...you just lost video games...cries.

next time

you lost video games...i dont care...you just lost xyz...i dont care....20 minutes later, can I play mario, no....cries.....you shouldnt have done (whatever he did).

recently....you just lost fishworld for 2 days...ok...came back 2 days later logged into fish world and all his fish were dead....you shouldnt have done abc.

 

[une_autre]

Well, conflict.

I am not afraid to speak for myself and I am feisty enough. Most of the time I should keep my mouth shut.
Anyway, obviously I had huge problems with my parents whenever we had conflicts because I would not stand being punished if I had done nothing wrong (apparently, only in my opinion). With some teachers as well. When I grew up a bit, I became more cautious, but in elementary school, if I had an issue with a teacher, I would speak up. This has earned me many phone calls to my parents. I think the only reason I never had worse problems than that was the fact that I have always been an A+ student.

Of course, as I got older, learned that speaking up won't always be the smartest solution.
I avoid conflicts that only have the potential to make me burn some neurons, instead of being productive. Sometimes, I will just turn my back. I value my neurons and I avoid to waste them on useless battles.