User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 32

  1. #1
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    2,591

    Default Is it True ISFPs don't wear their hearts on their sleeves?

    Do you not show the world your deepest feelings, especially hurt?

    I broke up with my girl this week. It was for the best because I realized that we weren't going to work. She first suggested a break (whatever that means), and a few days later after thinking it out I suggested we call it off.

    A female friend suggested that she wasn't expecting me to react this way, that me suggesting to permanently break up with her was probably the last thing she wanted. It's funny because when we were at dinner (our break up dinner), she appeared to be very cool with my decision, even saying she felt the same way, and that her term break meant breaking it off for good. I don't get that feeling she meant that, but it's what she says.

    Well that was Wed. We were in the same spot this past Sunday, at the same table at a dinner for a longtime friend of mines, and he is also her sister's husband. We ended the night at the couple's house. All we said the whole time was 'Hi' and "bye, each time met with a hug. I tried to show a 'no love lost' attitude while we were group conversation, and while we were playing a game, but she didn't look at me or acknowledge me at all. Again, when we were at our break up dinner she suggested that we would still be friends (we were friends before dating) and that it would return to normal.

    My friend said he noticed that she didn't look at me either, and when I provided the winning answers to the questions she asked (we were playing a game) my friend said she didn't look happy- almost kind of disappointed that I answered them.

    The same female friend thinks that she is hurt, but isn't showing it outwardly, and I think while she's not showing it to others, her not even being able to look at me or show any kind of reaction during an otherwise fun game is proof that she is hurt, even if she doesn't admit it to me.

    Is it her Fi? I read that ISFPs are the strongest of those who are dominant Fi, and I did read that their deepest feelings aren't evident to those looking on, even others, unless they tell them.

    I want to know primarily for 2 reasons: We have common friends, and the likelihood of us being in this situation again is significant enough for me to know how to deal with her in the future, also I want to confirm with other xFPs that my feelings are correct- while she says she's 'cool' with our decision, she is hurt but just not demonstrating it it externally.

    Any help would be great.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    6,727

    Default

    I'm not very good at hiding my feelings, and I usually don't try to.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

    "I like the sigs with quotes in them from other forum members." -- Oberon

    The SP Spazz Youtube Channel

  3. #3
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    4w3 so/sx
    Posts
    4,836

    Default

    Ok, my ideal would be to always wear my heart on my sleeves, and I do normally. But I think when it comes to something like a break up, it may be a bit different.
    For myself, when I went through my break up it was difficult because I put alot of myself into the relationship. When my bf and I broke up, it was really hard to try and cope with that feeling that he doesn't really want me. Even if you both kind of agree'd to it, she may be feeling the sting of not being wanted (but this is only a guess).

    I know I tried to hid my feelings when my ex bf was around (we had the same friends too), because I didn't want him to think that I was so stuck on him or that I was clingy or anything. So I reverted to myself. It's possible that she's doing the same?

    Break ups, I think, can kind of change one's personality for a short time. Like how they react to it maybe different than how they'd normally react to other things. Or this could happen for some people and not others. I'm not really sure. All I know is that, that was the issue for myself.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  4. #4
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    2,591

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ayoitsStepho View Post
    Ok, my ideal would be to always wear my heart on my sleeves, and I do normally. But I think when it comes to something like a break up, it may be a bit different.
    For myself, when I went through my break up it was difficult because I put alot of myself into the relationship. When my bf and I broke up, it was really hard to try and cope with that feeling that he doesn't really want me. Even if you both kind of agree'd to it, she may be feeling the sting of not being wanted (but this is only a guess).

    I know I tried to hid my feelings when my ex bf was around (we had the same friends too), because I didn't want him to think that I was so stuck on him or that I was clingy or anything. So I reverted to myself. It's possible that she's doing the same?

    Break ups, I think, can kind of change one's personality for a short time. Like how they react to it maybe different than how they'd normally react to other things. Or this could happen for some people and not others. I'm not really sure. All I know is that, that was the issue for myself.
    I think that has something to do with it, but you know what? I'd rather see that out of her than act like nothing is wrong. It seems fake to me. I mean we do have feelings for one another, and we expressed those. Not that I was hurt by her avoiding my eye contact, but it's a certain level of respect for one another. It's not a big deal, but it's interesting.

  5. #5
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    Booo
    Posts
    3,005

    Default

    For me the personal is personal, I suppose I hide a lot (although I'm not sure how good I actually am at hiding it) but not really intentionally it just happens.

    I suppose she might not even know herself how she feels, letting things sink in, internal processing of feelings. Maybe?

    I consider myself pretty stoic.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

    Quinlan's Creations

  6. #6
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    4w3 so/sx
    Posts
    4,836

    Default

    ^ That's pretty possible as well.

    I'm a 4w3 so I'm a diva when it comes to this stuff. So naturally I'm gonna shout it to the mountain about how I feel.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    138

    Default

    Awwwe.. I feel so bad! I remember talking to you a few months back. I was hoping things would work out for the two of you.

    As far as wearing our heart on our sleeves: I do not. I think I may have said this before but I can appear to be an ice queen. My whole life can be crashing around me, as it is right now, but I do not show it to the world. I just can't. While I feel like I'm dying on the inside, I appear stoic to everyone. I am not being fake; I am just frozen. It takes a while to get over things, esp. lost love. I'm sure she is hurting and only cries in private or to one good friend. I don't know if she will hold a grudge; I know I usually don't. She is probably putting a shield around her and will slowly let the pain in. It's the only way to protect ourselves.

    Hugs to both of you.

  8. #8

    Default

    I almost always hide my feelings. They do come out, through other things, things I do. In that way I am pretty typically ISFP I guess.

  9. #9
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    6,727

    Default

    Is hiding feelings really typically ISFP? It doesn't seem to fit our overall description of openness.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

    "I like the sigs with quotes in them from other forum members." -- Oberon

    The SP Spazz Youtube Channel

  10. #10
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    8,263

    Default

    If I don't feel like interacting with someone I once took seriously, I barely keep eye contact. And if I'm forced to, I start joking around and just try to have a good time.

    [edit] But then, I may not be a true ISFP. I shouldn't butt in

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 10
    Last Post: 07-10-2013, 06:57 PM
  2. Is it true that?
    By Survive & Stay Free in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 02-26-2013, 08:25 PM
  3. Is it wrong for other people to express opinions on the internet...
    By phobik in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 07-17-2011, 10:17 PM
  4. [NT] Why is it so hard for Me to stop focusing on Myself?
    By The Ü™ in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 72
    Last Post: 07-15-2011, 06:06 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO