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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    Is hiding feelings really typically ISFP? It doesn't seem to fit our overall description of openness.
    Fi doms can be *extremely* opaque and controlled when they wish to be. Much of this is situational, of course. In his prime, Björn Borg was dubbed the "Ice Borg;" fellow ISFP Roger Federer is much the same today. If you read Joyce Carol Oates' wonderful pieces on the young INFP Mike Tyson, they reveal the same contrast between the "game face" and the manchild beneath:

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    As with the young, pre-champion Dempsey, there is an unsettling air about Tyson, with his impassive death's-head face, his unwavering stare, and his refusal to glamorize himself in the ring—no robe, no socks, only the signature black trunks and shoes—that the violence he unleashes against his opponents is somehow just; that some hurt, some wound, some insult in his past, personal or ancestral, will be redressed in the ring; some mysterious imbalance righted. The single-mindedness of his ring style works to suggest that his grievance has the force of a natural catastrophe. That old trope, "the wrath of God," comes to mind.

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    Is hiding feelings really typically ISFP? It doesn't seem to fit our overall description of openness.
    I think it is. I think the openness of an ISFP is more the live and let live variety. Most descriptions talk about ISFP keeping their feelings under wraps. And that seems right to me.

  3. #13
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I think it is. I think the openness of an ISFP is more the live and let live variety. Most descriptions talk about ISFP keeping their feelings under wraps. And that seems right to me.
    Hmmm..see, to me, it just seems part of the same thing. I don't make an effort to hide stuff. I think the only people that don't know my feelings are those who just never bothered to know them. I mean, I don't go around advertising my feelings to people except those that are close to me, but I don't hide them either.

    Maybe some people view "heart on your sleeve" as being loud and in-your-face with feelings. If that's the definition, then I don't fit it. But all you have to do is look at my face, it's very expressive, and betrays what I'm feeling fairly obviously if you look at it I think.
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  4. #14
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I think it is. I think the openness of an ISFP is more the live and let live variety. Most descriptions talk about ISFP keeping their feelings under wraps. And that seems right to me.
    Sometimes being accepting and open of things especially from other people means to keep our feelings and opinions under wraps.

  5. #15
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    Is hiding feelings really typically ISFP? It doesn't seem to fit our overall description of openness.
    I agree. Maybe this just depends on the individual ISFP.

    I'm sorry to hear about your break up, IZthe411. I was hoping you two could work things out eventually. Perhaps she reacted that way because she had sensed things weren't working out and had been mentally preparing herself for a break up for a while now. I've heard many people say they do that.

  6. #16
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julie1962 View Post
    Awwwe.. I feel so bad! I remember talking to you a few months back. I was hoping things would work out for the two of you.

    As far as wearing our heart on our sleeves: I do not. I think I may have said this before but I can appear to be an ice queen. My whole life can be crashing around me, as it is right now, but I do not show it to the world. I just can't. While I feel like I'm dying on the inside, I appear stoic to everyone. I am not being fake; I am just frozen. It takes a while to get over things, esp. lost love. I'm sure she is hurting and only cries in private or to one good friend. I don't know if she will hold a grudge; I know I usually don't. She is probably putting a shield around her and will slowly let the pain in. It's the only way to protect ourselves.

    Hugs to both of you.
    Thanks....It was what I thought was an amicable break. Maybe she is hurting inside- She hides it well.

    I'm sure time will heal it all.

  7. #17
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I agree. Maybe this just depends on the individual ISFP.

    I'm sorry to hear about your break up, IZthe411. I was hoping you two could work things out eventually. Perhaps she reacted that way because she had sensed things weren't working out and had been mentally preparing herself for a break up for a while now. I've heard many people say they do that.
    Well we talked about not going on if things continued to be at a standstill- kind of like "if 2 months from now we haven't made any progress- let's split up". She agreed, but she actually shed tears when I suggested that. After thinking about it overnight she suggested that we take a break. I told her we don't need a break. I don't get that. If we are trying to make a life together, how is taking a break from that going to help us? Maybe that conversation helped her suggest a break the next time, that ended up us being done for good.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    I think that has something to do with it, but you know what? I'd rather see that out of her than act like nothing is wrong. It seems fake to me. I mean we do have feelings for one another, and we expressed those. Not that I was hurt by her avoiding my eye contact, but it's a certain level of respect for one another. It's not a big deal, but it's interesting.
    Maybe she was hiding eye contact so you didnt see any feelings.
    Im out, its been fun

  9. #19
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    Well we talked about not going on if things continued to be at a standstill- kind of like "if 2 months from now we haven't made any progress- let's split up". She agreed, but she actually shed tears when I suggested that. After thinking about it overnight she suggested that we take a break. I told her we don't need a break. I don't get that. If we are trying to make a life together, how is taking a break from that going to help us? Maybe that conversation helped her suggest a break the next time, that ended up us being done for good.
    Oh my. A "if 2 months from now we haven't made any progress - let's split up" conversation sounds horrible! You basically set a date to break up with her then. No wonder she broke up the next day. She probably was thinking, "Why wait?" That's torture dragging it out like that.

    When you're trying to work things out, you're not supposed to talk about breaking up in the future. That's just doomsday talk.

  10. #20
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Oh my. A "if 2 months from now we haven't made any progress - let's split up" conversation sounds horrible! You basically set a date to break up with her then. No wonder she broke up the next day. She probably was thinking, "Why wait?" That's torture dragging it out like that.

    When you're trying to work things out, you're not supposed to talk about breaking up in the future. That's just doomsday talk.

    Yeah I didn't mean it in that way, though. Bad move on my part I know.

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