I'm posting on the forum for the first time here, but I've been following the threads quite frequently. I had a question to ask you ISTPs on this forum, hopefully you can help me out.
I'm currently stuck in a "friends with benefits" relationship with an ISTP. We met half a year ago, started off as casual friends through a circle of common friends (we're college students). That lasted for about 4 months or so before he made a move on me, and we have been hooking up ever since. We are VERY physically attracted to each other, and (being a girl and a typical ENFJ), I started to develop some feelings for him. After a long month of feeling guilty and torturing myself psychologically for getting into such a messy situation, I finally dumped my feelings onto him, to which he responded he doesn't want a relationship right now.
He insists that this is "not just a friends with benefits thing," and that I am not "replaceable by some random person." But because of his previous relationships (he just got out of a heartbreaking one just around the time we met), he needs the casualness right now. Just recently after I confessed my feelings to him, he acknowledged the emotional strain on my part and agreed that we needed to stop doing this and start working on the actual "friends" part, as our friendship had been mostly through the mutual circle of friends up until this point.
He's definitely opening up to me more, but every time temptation takes over and in the heat of the moment we hook up again. We respect each other and have friendly conversations during the day, and at night, the sex is intimate and very fun and intense. One time when I teased him during, he even blurted out that he would "take this seriously" (though I don't know how much trust I can put into his words when he was desperate for some).
I still have some feelings for him, but the situation doesn't hurt me as much as it did before because we are more open to each other as friends and lost much of the awkwardness and confusion that used to surround us before. But on the other hand, I can't help but search for signs that he may have developed some feelings towards me too.
I want to know how easy it is for ISTPs to maintain a completely unemotional friends with benefits relationship. Also, what are the signs that he may be developing some feelings for me, and the signs that it's a completely casual thing?