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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    ^I guess I'm back to appreciating that, but it's not like I want to be single. I'm coming off a disappointing situation as we speak. And when I say "disappointing", I mean I cared and tried. Sometimes I DO want the dynamic of a relationship to change, and will subtly push for it. I might not be someone who confesses things blatantly, but I do look for other ways to see if someone is really worth getting involved with.. and if I find that they're not, I'm a little bummed out about that.
    Being ISTP is a funny thing. Retrospectively, I know guys that had their potential life partner settled early, such as myself... Then others it took longer for, or life happened etc.

    Just saying I self-identify with what you said about your own experience.

    Seems so odd on this forum sometimes. Me, and the few ISTP's I've recognized as knowing in life...often express feeling so different from everybody else. As, I'm sure all of us do?

    But dammit, when we come across others in a space such as this...there seems to be an in-SYNC of communication I don't often recognize other types as having...????

    Maybe they do, and I just don't get them? lol

    mk...I put my typing fingers away for a while, please forgive post, post, post. When I saw this topic earlier today, it made me very uncomfortable. However, the discomfort was just within myself. Maybe difference between who I am, and what other folks might accept? Hell I don't know.

  2. #52
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    oh, dude...

    I ended up dating a stripper for a short while. I met her in a bookstore of all places.

    Really smart, intelligent, bright beautiful chick...but we kind of hit a decorum taboo...when she uh, made a move by literally getting under the table in a family style seafood resturant. When I asked her about life initially she said that she was in "customer service." lol

    referring to your comment on strip clubs.
    heh yeah.. it's odd how that works out, isn't it?

  3. #53
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StephMC View Post
    I have a tendency to get involved with someone, develop a friends with benefits type of thing, make sure they are FULLY aware I don't want a relationship and....it ends up being a relationship anyways. Except I refuse to admit they're my boyfriend and still won't -officially- commit. I'm not sure why. Or... I am... I just don't feel like going into an analysis right this moment. But long story short, my life is busy and hectic enough, and not admitting to being in a relationship is an easier escape -if- I need one for whatever reason. It's all in my head, because I always end up calling the thing off like I would a normal relationship anyways. Just to give you an idea, it took a year of talking to my last boyfriend every day + moving in with him for me to finally admit he was my boyfriend. Although it didn't but a few months more after that. :rolli:

    my istp bff says, "It's not unemotional at all. It's actually more emotional than my normal relationships because there isn't stability or certainty so I'm always left wondering... Imagining... Stressing. And I'm always the last person to know that I'm in a relationship.

    Speaking of my non relationship, analyze this:

    He used to text me back and forth, ping ponging every minute or so. NOW (including right this second), he texts me, I text back within a few minutes, and then he takes 20 minutes to reply. When he started it!!!!!"

    haaaahaha. istps-why put yourself through such agony? seems like unnecessary stress. is it that you want to see if the consistency of the other person is there without the label? or is it to avoid boredom and routine?

  4. #54
    Senior Member McRumi's Avatar
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    We live in the moment. So sometimes we text non-stop, sometimes not for days.

    We eat stress for breakfast when we are working/performing. But stress in relationships is completely different because it is emotional stress. Also inefficient. MOst intimate human relationships require a consistent maintenance...and that is exactly what we are not wired for.

    We are like the big cats in the savanna: we are constantly scanning our surroundings for the big kill (crisis), put all our energies into it, and then retreat.

    Intense energy/rest/intense energy/rest.

  5. #55
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I am thinking you guys have a strong genetic compatibility that makes you hard to resist to one another when within smelling distance. Add this to the personality/physical attraction plus the behavioral reinforcement of memories of previous good sex . . . I'm betting you're going to keep doing each other at every convenient opportunity and it could go on for 3+ years easily and still not be a relationship. He could even meet somebody within that time frame that he does want a relationship with and drop you like a hot potato (or keep you on the side).

    If you don't want to continue the relationship as it is now, you probably need to create some physical distance until you have the other aspects of the relationship hashed out to your satisfaction.

    It could turn into something, but I'd say there's a 50+% chance that it isn't going to. The thing is, he probably won't know himself where it's going until he actually gets there -- unless he's pretty cold-hearted and manipulative and he's got things right where he wants them right now, which is also possible. That wouldn't be an ISTP thing. That would be a jerk thing and they come in all types.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #56
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    it could go on for 3+ years easily and still not be a relationship. He could even meet somebody within that time frame that he does want a relationship with and drop you like a hot potato (or keep you on the side).

    If you don't want to continue the relationship as it is now, you probably need to create some physical distance until you have the other aspects of the relationship hashed out to your satisfaction.
    Agree with this.
    It could turn into something, but I'd say there's a 50+% chance that it isn't going to. The thing is, he probably won't know himself where it's going until he actually gets there -- unless he's pretty cold-hearted and manipulative and he's got things right where he wants them right now, which is also possible. That wouldn't be an ISTP thing. That would be a jerk thing and they come in all types.
    I don't agree with your assessment. Why does not wanting to change the 'rules of engagement' make him a jerk? They've had the talk. He made himself clear. If she continues the relationship on the same terms hoping things are going to change then she only has herself to blame, no?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelinpa
    Speaking of my non relationship, analyze this:

    He used to text me back and forth, ping ponging every minute or so. NOW (including right this second), he texts me, I text back within a few minutes, and then he takes 20 minutes to reply. When he started it!!!!!"

    haaaahaha. istps-why put yourself through such agony? seems like unnecessary stress. is it that you want to see if the consistency of the other person is there without the label? or is it to avoid boredom and routine?
    You are the only one stressing/agonizing, don't you see that? NFs, why are you always obsessing over this stuff? And why do you ask questions when you don't really want the answers? I don't know how many posts I've read along similar lines. If you are the kind of person who needs a lot of reassurance and stability and emotional support, you shouldn't be in a relationship with an ITP. You won't get what you need and you'll annoy the hell out of them.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  7. #57
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    I don't agree with your assessment. Why does not wanting to change the 'rules of engagement' make him a jerk? They've had the talk. He made himself clear. If she continues the relationship on the same terms hoping things are going to change then she only has herself to blame, no?
    To a degree. I am inclined to believe there is responsibility on both sides, though more on her side for being stupid.

    If he knows she has feelings for him that he is unwilling or unable to reciprocate and knows she is probably going to be hurt, but is still willing to engage in the relationship so he can have a convenient piece of ass, that is, IMO, a pretty jerky thing to do. It's not unfair or dishonest, but it is unkind and selfish.

    But she is also being dishonest for continuing a relationship with ulterior motives.

    If this is the case, they'd both be a lot better off finding a more suitable partner.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #58
    Senior Member McRumi's Avatar
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    ISTPs do not drop people like hot potatoes. In fact they are likely to remain friends with whomever they've encountered in life for all their life. ISTPS are egalitarians and highly attuned to issues of fairness and justice. There's a lot of NF and NT projection going on here.

  9. #59
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McRumi View Post
    ISTPs do not drop people like hot potatoes. In fact they are likely to remain friends with whomever they've encountered in life for all their life. ISTPS are egalitarians and highly attuned to issues of fairness and justice. There's a lot of NF and NT projection going on here.
    I read it to mean he'd move on without hesitation, not that ISTPs are fickle.
    I have found them to be quite difficult to penetrate but very loyal to their friends and families.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    Complication for one party will make complication for the other.
    I know, why cant we all just get along?
    Im out, its been fun

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