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  1. #201
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    ....My husband is ISTP and he just isn't like this, so it makes me wonder about the different types of ISTPs. My man is very lovey and committed, and proud to have a wife. Getting him to commit was indeed difficult and convoluted, but he is as into our relationship as any other husband, which seems in direct contrast to what I've heard 'stereotypical' ISTPs are like regarding relationships.
    I think in general when an ISTP find the person that he (or she?) wants to marry then it is a done deal. Other than that, it's a day by day process until they make that decission.

  2. #202
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    That is so bizarre. I had an ISTP guy tell me that once when i asked him what he wanted. He said, "A companion." I said, "Hah, that makes you sound like an old man--A companion?" He said, "Yeah, ya know, to travel with and just do things with." To me it sounds like a sexless roommate kinda deal, no offense.

    My husband is ISTP and he just isn't like this, so it makes me wonder about the different types of ISTPs. My man is very lovey and committed, and proud to have a wife. Getting him to commit was indeed difficult and convoluted, but he is as into our relationship as any other husband, which seems in direct contrast to what I've heard 'stereotypical' ISTPs are like regarding relationships.
    Good companions can turn into irreplaceable partners in crime.

  3. #203
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    hi lasdf23,

    i am sorry you were hurt. every experience is a lesson learned, truly. i hope you feel better soon. it really does take time to recover fully, but you will be back kicking enfj ass. istps go through unhealthy stages with relationships I feel. i know one that cheated on his gf of 3 years because he was curious or freaked out or something. i read somewhere that they hurt people to see how much they really care for them. socionics maybe. but whatever his deal was, it was in very bad taste and is unforgivable.

  4. #204
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    hi lasdf23,

    i am sorry you were hurt. every experience is a lesson learned, truly. i hope you feel better soon. it really does take time to recover fully, but you will be back kicking enfj ass. istps go through unhealthy stages with relationships I feel. i know one that cheated on his gf of 3 years because he was curious or freaked out or something. i read somewhere that they hurt people to see how much they really care for them. socionics maybe. but whatever his deal was, it was in very bad taste and is unforgivable.
    hmm... Unhealthy stages? Well I have been through quite a few relationships that held unhealthy stages for me.

    Mostly, I start feeling clostrophobic...don't know how to describe it really.

    Seems to center around a visceral repulsion in not wanting to be assimilated like the Borg. If a woman goes into Borg mode, I'm very likely to freak out and assert myself free spirit style.

    In that aspect, I've been told that "I'm hopelessly untrainable."

  5. #205
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    hmm... Unhealthy stages? Well I have been through quite a few relationships that held unhealthy stages for me.

    Mostly, I start feeling clostrophobic...don't know how to describe it really.

    Seems to center around a visceral repulsion in not wanting to be assimilated like the Borg. If a woman goes into Borg mode, I'm very likely to freak out and assert myself free spirit style.

    In that aspect, I've been told that "I'm hopelessly untrainable."

    And I can't help but to look at your avatar!

    I've always found that concept of 'trainning men' repulsive. That's what mommies are for.

  6. #206
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    That is so bizarre. I had an ISTP guy tell me that once when i asked him what he wanted. He said, "A companion." I said, "Hah, that makes you sound like an old man--A companion?" He said, "Yeah, ya know, to travel with and just do things with." To me it sounds like a sexless roommate kinda deal, no offense.
    Ha! Someone just asked me I said, "Just someone to do stuff with and hang out and have great sex with". He says, "So a relationship". I was like, "Not necessarily. Like, a companion." He's like, "That's a relationship." I didn't say anything after that because I didn't feel like talking about it further.

    I don't know why but I wouldn't define it as such. Like as long as that person is cool with me and shows me respect - they could do whatever they want as long as us two have an understanding and good rapport then the rest doesn't matter. Including exclusivity. That's not to say that that kind of dynamic wouldn't lead to exclusivity but it's not the first thing on the list to check off.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  7. #207
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    Ha! Someone just asked me I said, "Just someone to do stuff with and hang out and have great sex with". He says, "So a relationship". I was like, "Not necessarily. Like, a companion." He's like, "That's a relationship." I didn't say anything after that because I didn't feel like talking about it further.

    I don't know why but I wouldn't define it as such. Like as long as that person is cool with me and shows me respect - they could do whatever they want as long as us two have an understanding and good rapport then the rest doesn't matter. Including exclusivity. That's not to say that that kind of dynamic wouldn't lead to exclusivity but it's not the first thing on the list to check off.
    You wrote my thoughts.

    'Ditto.'
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  8. #208
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    I think every ISTP deep down insides wants to go on an adventure, travel and explore the world.

    For every adventure, you need to have a trusty sidekick. Preferably a sexy one who can keep up.

  9. #209
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    Ha! Someone just asked me I said, "Just someone to do stuff with and hang out and have great sex with". He says, "So a relationship". I was like, "Not necessarily. Like, a companion." He's like, "That's a relationship." I didn't say anything after that because I didn't feel like talking about it further.

    I don't know why but I wouldn't define it as such. Like as long as that person is cool with me and shows me respect - they could do whatever they want as long as us two have an understanding and good rapport then the rest doesn't matter. Including exclusivity. That's not to say that that kind of dynamic wouldn't lead to exclusivity but it's not the first thing on the list to check off.
    Well, damn. My ISTP & I have had arguments about this (god, isn't that stupid), where he just keeps telling me I'm wrong when I say he wants a play mate and I want a soul mate. I've even used the word "companion" before and he gets so offended like I'm calling him shallow. Why on Earth would he deny it? It usually comes up when I am talking about how we 'want what we want' and can't really change that. I guess he feels I'm being judgmental so he wants me to be wrong regardless of what I'm saying? I truly have always felt that he wants a sort of sidekick. Someone totally into him but independent enough that he was always third on their list of priorities (after his passions & his identity). Like he just wants someone to do what they want, like he does, but really close to him. I want someone to be "with me." I want our lives to be two things but coming together in places so they are revolving around the both of us together. That is not his way of looking at it. I hate that idea I get of him, like this James Bond vibe where the 'love of his life' has to have so much of her 'own thing' that she could just up and leave him at any time, because he's that way, and things have to be 'fair.' Believe it or not, to me, it seems unrealistic, because I feel like 'one foot out' or 'all in' are both a choice. He seems to claim 'all in', but that's not, in reality, the choice he's making day by day. If I'm looking at this all wrong, chime in.

    He's big on exclusivity though. He can be so jealous, but that's likely insecurity.
    ____________________________________________
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  10. #210
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    You wrote my thoughts.

    'Ditto.'
    Yeah, pretty much +1.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rainne View Post
    I think every ISTP deep down insides wants to go on an adventure, travel and explore the world.

    For every adventure, you need to have a trusty sidekick. Preferably a sexy one who can keep up.
    Sidekicks are perfect! I know the feeling, that's for sure. I like to do stuff with other people. Friends are good for this 'cause you know you'll probably still like them by the time the next adventure comes around. Significant others.....oy vey. Shit happens and you'll end up a little miserable or not doing anything at all at some point. It gets complicated.
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