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  1. #191
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    I'm sorry you got hurt.
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  2. #192
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    I don't think ISTP look for relationships, we tend to look for companionship.

    It's so awesome just having someone do the same things you like to do. Why can't we just have fun and leave it at that? It feels so awkward introducing your gf sometimes..."hey what's up...uh yeah, this is my *meek voice and scratches head*...uh...gf i guess"

  3. #193
    Senior Member seamaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rainne View Post
    I don't think ISTP look for relationships, we tend to look for companionship.

    It's so awesome just having someone do the same things you like to do. Why can't we just have fun and leave it at that? It feels so awkward introducing your gf sometimes..."hey what's up...uh yeah, this is my *meek voice and scratches head*...uh...gf i guess"
    That could be my istp boyfriend talking! Want. to. understand. I guess this is why animals and ISTPs really get along (generally). By comparison, human females want more than to just be an activity companion (which are more often than not ISTP's activities... I'm reminded of the Peruvian surfer who surfs with his pets on board). And it's not always fun & easy when what NF females *really* desire is a deep, special, personal connection most of all, one that recognizes and cherishes the unique person that she is.

  4. #194
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seamaid View Post
    what NF females *really* desire is a deep, special, personal connection most of all, one that recognizes and cherishes the unique person that she is.
    *shudders*

  5. #195
    Senior Member milkyway2's Avatar
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    ISTPs are so hard to figure out because THEY'RE SO EASY TO!

    At least with the ISTP guy friend I have. He's never hiding anything, he's very one-track minded. He dated my friend an ENFP for a while and she was always trying to guess his motives. Constantly, and didn't understand why he wouldn't come say hi to her at a concert etc. (He was watching the concert! duh) But if you just ask him what's up he will tell you. He just has nothing to hide I guess it seems like. I don't know if every ISTP guy is like this.

  6. #196
    Member Chuckums's Avatar
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    I am very disgusted by the way this unhealthy ISTP treated you, and being an ISTP, I am, strangely, embarrassed by it. With a healthy and somewhat intelligent ISTP, a keen sense of logic and justice rules the decision making process. Personally, I consider lying to a chick for sex to be a mortal sin, but ISTPs are all the poorer due to this situation and it's outcome being brought to the forefront.

    Always remember there is light at the end of the tunnel and time will heal up those wounds-things will get better.
    Quote Originally Posted by milkyway2 View Post
    ISTPs are so hard to figure out because THEY'RE SO EASY TO!

    At least with the ISTP guy friend I have. He's never hiding anything, he's very one-track minded. He dated my friend an ENFP for a while and she was always trying to guess his motives. Constantly, and didn't understand why he wouldn't come say hi to her at a concert etc. (He was watching the concert! duh) But if you just ask him what's up he will tell you. He just has nothing to hide I guess it seems like. I don't know if every ISTP guy is like this.
    Key word there is 'friend' milkyway2-he is willing to let you know him. Normally, in a face to face situation, most ISTPs are hard to truly know because they will only interact in a very superficial way with someone they do not consider an actual friend. This is a forum for the purpose of learning and understanding-words on a screen-in real life, you would probably hear none of what I just typed, unless you knew me and were a friend.

  7. #197
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    Thank you all for your support and words of encouragement. I'm gradually regaining myself, am able to listen to happier music now, feel somewhat of a motivation to work out now. Though I still haven't conquered my fear for romantic movies, breakup songs and physical/emotional intimacy, I hope those will follow slowly as summer comes.

    I still feel resentful towards him at times, but I know it's because I still somehow care for him in ways indescribable. I sent him a "hey, what's up how's everything" text for the first time in a month and a half the other day, he actually responded, to my surprise. We exchanged a few texts about how the weather is really nice outside and wishing he didn't have to do school work...and that was that. I deleted his number from my phone, so I won't have the urge to do stuff like that on a whim again. I still remember his area code, so in the future if he wants to contact me I can definitely tell it was him.

    But how characteristically ENFJ of me to hope for an ISTP to check up on how I'm doing?! Haha, guess it's my hopeful thinking kicking in. Oh well.

    :-)

  8. #198
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lasdf23 View Post
    At the time, making that decision to walk away seemed like a reasonable one. But it was the emotional aftermath that got to me. One minute I was bawling all in tears from being hurt and being lied to, another minute I was telling myself that it was just a FWB relationship, and I cannot blame him, so I should just suck it up and move on and act normal. After an especially draining month, I was finally able to nail down the source of my grief, which were my lost friendship with people around the house, and being lied to (and played by) the ISTP guy.
    I'm sorry. That sucks, even if you should have seen it coming.
    This is why FWB isn't worth it. Not for you. Painful lesson, but at least you know that now.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  9. #199
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    I read this thread for the first time. It actually played out exactly as expected. Hurt and resentment will be the likely outcome when the two parties in a relationship have different objectives.

    T maintained a friendship with you but was clearly hoping for more. You maintained a FWB arrangement with M but was clearly hoping for more.

    Sorry to see you were hurt.

  10. #200
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rainne View Post
    I don't think ISTP look for relationships, we tend to look for companionship.

    It's so awesome just having someone do the same things you like to do. Why can't we just have fun and leave it at that? It feels so awkward introducing your gf sometimes..."hey what's up...uh yeah, this is my *meek voice and scratches head*...uh...gf i guess"
    That is so bizarre. I had an ISTP guy tell me that once when i asked him what he wanted. He said, "A companion." I said, "Hah, that makes you sound like an old man--A companion?" He said, "Yeah, ya know, to travel with and just do things with." To me it sounds like a sexless roommate kinda deal, no offense.

    My husband is ISTP and he just isn't like this, so it makes me wonder about the different types of ISTPs. My man is very lovey and committed, and proud to have a wife. Getting him to commit was indeed difficult and convoluted, but he is as into our relationship as any other husband, which seems in direct contrast to what I've heard 'stereotypical' ISTPs are like regarding relationships.
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