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  1. #91
    Senior Member McRumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    They dont mix well, but when used in the right way can make for some pretty interesting results
    I have a looooooooooooooooong acquaintance with an INFJ. When they aren't saving the world (or thinking they are), they can be quite swell.


  2. #92
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    istp =
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    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  3. #93
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I agree that she's a big girl, etc, but relationships are not all that cut and dried. I have seen situations where a girl has a crush on a guy and he knows it and makes it clear verbally that he isn't interested in anything serious while all the time playing the girl like a violin -- non-verbally or with mixed verbal signals stringing her along and giving her hope. Yes, the girl is stupid for allowing herself to be played but it is, IMO, selfish and unkind to knowingly do this to someone and I fear that that is what could be happening in this situation.
    I can see both sides. But only because he actually said it's "not just a friends with benefits thing". Which does sound like a line...
    I still believe the onus is on her though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Charles Isaac View Post
    You must think I was calling you "the she devil".
    I assumed you were talking about me. And I didn't find it insulting.


    All this discussion is ultimately pointless though. Because, despite all the excellent insight here, OP manages to somehow convince herself:
    Quote Originally Posted by lasdf23 View Post
    The fact that he took notice of my vulnerability and took active measures to break it off (though he's broken it once, he seems committed to it) really assured me that he does in fact respects me and is not just toying around with me.
    Despite
    Even the last time we hooked up (after we decided that we should work on being friends and NOT hook up), he was the one to make the move. I kept telling him no, you're not gonna get it, and tried to push him away, but he had to be insistent..for 3 hours until I finally gave in :-(

    This is why I don't like giving advice to NFs.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  4. #94
    Member Chuckums's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McRumi View Post
    I have a looooooooooooooooong acquaintance with an INFJ. When they aren't saving the world (or thinking they are), they can be quite swell.

    The craziest thing I ever did was marry an INFJ! 18 years and counting.

    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    istp =
    Wife always says I'm "deranged"

  5. #95
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    I can see both sides. But only because he actually said it's "not just a friends with benefits thing". Which does sound like a line...
    I still believe the onus is on her though.


    I assumed you were talking about me. And I didn't find it insulting.


    All this discussion is ultimately pointless though. Because, despite all the excellent insight here, OP manages to somehow convince herself:
    Despite
    This is why I don't like giving advice to NFs.
    We are pathetic in matters of the heart. This is the only realm I wish I had a T switch.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  6. #96
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    I can see both sides. But only because he actually said it's "not just a friends with benefits thing". Which does sound like a line...
    I still believe the onus is on her though.

    All this discussion is ultimately pointless though. Because, despite all the excellent insight here, OP manages to somehow convince herself:
    Despite
    This is why I don't like giving advice to NFs.
    The onus is definitely on her, but it's sort of like taking candy from a baby.

    I wish it was only NFs that were like this. Maybe it's F women in general, I don't know. It's very painful and frustrating to watch.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  7. #97
    ..... Intricate Mystic's Avatar
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    In reading through this very interesting discussion, I just would like to point out a bit of a paradox concerning ISTPs. When an ISTP says they "don't want a relationship right now", that might very well be the case, or alternatively, it might be a response to feeling pressured about the relationship at that moment, or even that they have feelings for the person but haven't realized it yet. They take longer than other types to realize they have feelings for someone (as has been pointed out many times on the forum). This is the area that is such a challenge for NF's to deal with. I guess all you can do is go by their actions and forget about what they say, because actions speak louder than words for them. If their actions tell you that they have feelings for you, than you just have to be patient. Love is patient, love is kind.... that's the way to deal with them, I have found (married to one ). Here is a for the ISTPs reading this. I love you guys.

  8. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    In reading through this very interesting discussion, I just would like to point out a bit of a paradox concerning ISTPs. When an ISTP says they "don't want a relationship right now", that might very well be the case, or alternatively, it might be a response to feeling pressured about the relationship at that moment, or even that they have feelings for the person but haven't realized it yet. They take longer than other types to realize they have feelings for someone (as has been pointed out many times on the forum). This is the area that is such a challenge for NF's to deal with. I guess all you can do is go by their actions and forget about what they say, because actions speak louder than words for them. If their actions tell you that they have feelings for you, than you just have to be patient. Love is patient, love is kind.... that's the way to deal with them, I have found (married to one ). Here is a for the ISTPs reading this. I love you guys.
    Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
    Im out, its been fun

  9. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post


    All this discussion is ultimately pointless though. Because, despite all the excellent insight here, OP manages to somehow convince herself:
    Despite
    This is why I don't like giving advice to NFs.
    Well, yes true. We always hope/believe for the best in people. If somebody we care about said one good thing but acted the other way, we tend to believe that he intended the good thing he said but couldn't resist the urge to act the other way. And we FORGIVE HIM! (though won't forget). duh stupid me :-( but to us it's ultimately the intention that counts.

    Like I said many times, right now I'm at a peaceful place as long as I'm assured that he didn't mean to toy around with me and that he does in fact like me (however little that feeling may be). Yes, I will stop sleeping with him. And yes, I would be incredibly disappointed and offended if he tried to convince me to sleep with him again without entering into a solid relationship. But until he makes the same mistake for the 3rd time (which will be the next time) I need to learn to set this matter aside and go on with my usual life. That's something I can actively do to keep this situation under control.

  10. #100
    Senior Member McRumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intricate Mystic View Post
    In reading through this very interesting discussion, I just would like to point out a bit of a paradox concerning ISTPs. When an ISTP says they "don't want a relationship right now", that might very well be the case, or alternatively, it might be a response to feeling pressured about the relationship at that moment, or even that they have feelings for the person but haven't realized it yet. They take longer than other types to realize they have feelings for someone (as has been pointed out many times on the forum). This is the area that is such a challenge for NF's to deal with. I guess all you can do is go by their actions and forget about what they say, because actions speak louder than words for them. If their actions tell you that they have feelings for you, than you just have to be patient. Love is patient, love is kind.... that's the way to deal with them, I have found (married to one ). Here is a for the ISTPs reading this. I love you guys.

    Yes indeedy.

    You know an ISTP likes you when they start doing stuff for you.

    Now here's the weird part...if an ISTP is REALLY into you, we usually freeze....we want to focus all our senses on you so not a thing escapes our attention. It' s very counter-intuitive behavior in terms of relationships. I remember dating someone years ago and all I did was sit and stare when we'd go out to eat. Freaked the other person out...but we ended being together for 3 years.

    If an ISTP sits next to you and says nothing but is otherwise ok, it usually means they like you a lot.

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