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  1. #1
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Smile Help cheering up an ESTP?

    My man's best friend is an ESTP, and he's a good friend of mine as well- this man is just about the world's most stereotypical ESTP, and when he's feeling good things are on top of the world!

    Unfortunatly now, things aren't going all so well. His buisness is having some trouble at the moment and his girlfriend kicked him out because he'd lost that ZIP! in his personality that she'd fallen in love with and now he's staying in our spare room. People are commenting that "this is the most down I've ever seen F!"

    He HAS lost most of his zip... no more random jokes, not nearly as much smiling, no spring in his step... I'm just wondering how to go about setting him back on the path of good cheer? When he's feeling good things all seem to turn around- I'm just asking for some suggestions to turn things in the right way for him- he's a great guy and it's kind of sad to see him wandering around like a ghost!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  2. #2
    Senior Member une_autre's Avatar
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    I strongly suggest using logical arguments. When I am down, this really works for me - unfortunately, there are not too many people who figured this out.

    Maybe some supportive talk which has lots of valid arguments to why his life is not going to end here. Because you just can't beat reason, not for an ESTP anyway.

  3. #3
    Senior Member ColonelGadaafi's Avatar
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    Do something exciting and fun to do, an activity, that would force him to go into Se fun mode(in order to make him more receiving to the next step). And remind him that this is not the end of things, also add some positive motivation and appeal to his sense of logic.
    "Where can you flee? What road will you use to escape us? Our horses are swift, our arrows sharp, our swords like thunderbolts, our hearts as hard as the mountains, our soldiers as numerous as the sand. Fortresses will not detain us, nor arms stop us. Your prayers to God will not avail against us. We are not moved by tears nor touched by lamentations."

  4. #4
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Yeah- I was pointing out to him that he's pouting and it's not doing him any good... he agreed

    Was thinking of playing games tonight- something where he can be competitive and such...

    thanks!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  5. #5
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Take him on a raging bender. I have an ESTP friend and when he was a bit in the dumps, a bunch of us took him out, got hammered, played some insanely violent games of laser-tag, were asked to leave, then slept on a baseball field.

    Once he gets some positive energy in him, it's like a positive feedback loop and they can go into bulldozer mode and fix everything about their lives in like two seconds flat. That's what he did.



  6. #6
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    This sounds likely a juncture in his life that is his first prolonged depression. For an ESTP, that's a big deal. It's not in his nature to be down, and to not have the will to fight out of it. Such peril hit me last year. In my case it was personal matters and my job, just like his, so I am feeling a little qualified to spec this out, but must point out I am not a professional and not liable for any commentary issued here.

    I'll cut to the chase. After moping around for a couple of months, laying by the pool and watching the sky, and just barely meeting my obligations at school and work, I got pissed at myself. I went to my shrink and my M.D. and both agreed I was clinically depressed. This is the point in time when me, Mr. ESTP, was instructed by my shrink that I was "feelings retarded." He was right. Dead on. I had to "make decisions with my feelings" and that was a completely alien conceopt for me, especially when so much was on the line.

    My M.D. gave me Lexapro. I took it for 2 days and then flushed it. That shit sucks. So I thought..and I thought...and I thought...and then I figured out what it was that was upsetting me.

    THEN - the magic came when I decided on HOW I FELT ABOUT IT ALL and then DEVISED A PLAN OF ACTION for each dilemma.

    I then executed both plans of action. VOILA Depression lifted. No shit. Because I identifed the monsters in the fog that were troubling me, and then I searched them out, and then I slammed a spear through each of their necks, and I was back to my zippy, joking, happy-ass self in no time at all.

    How's that sound?
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  7. #7
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    sounds like a good plan... now it's just the question of how to get him to do that! I don't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing that he's now stuck in a house with 2 people who are each one letter off of his type now either (ENTP and ISTP) since NONE of us are the type who want to discuss feelings!

    Of course, he and I have the habit of hitting bad times at the same time, and have benefited by discussing it and that we SHOULD get off of our asses and do some plotting (though that was more minor than this) so perhaps I should try and take that approach this time...

    the ISTP has the habit of asking people to logically list their problems and brainstorms with them as to how to fix them- a helpful approach, but certainly not a pat on the back

    I think that they're planning on having a great time watching the playoffs together though- with me probably providing the food (I'm a soccer watching girl and have never gotten the hang of watching american football) so hopefully that puts him in a better mood a'la Jock to deal with things!

    thanks for the suggestions!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  8. #8
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    sounds like a good plan... now it's just the question of how to get him to do that!
    Ah ha. You've identified the problem in the MASTER PLAN. He will have to come to this realization on his own.

    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I think that they're planning on having a great time watching the playoffs together though- with me probably providing the food (I'm a soccer watching girl and have never gotten the hang of watching american football) so hopefully that puts him in a better mood a'la Jock to deal with things!
    I knew I liked you for the right reasons. I've never watched an entire (American) football game in my life. I watched a shitload of soccer. That's what happens when you're an Army brat that grows up in Germany!

    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    thanks for the suggestions!
    No problem, I'm glad to help out my ESTP Bro!

    BTW, What kind of a bitch is his girlfriend for asking him to move out because he's going through a rough time? I'd call her on the phone and tell her that her cunt smells. She sounds like a total whore. End of rant.
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  9. #9
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    BTW, What kind of a bitch is his girlfriend for asking him to move out because he's going through a rough time? I'd call her on the phone and tell her that her cunt smells. She sounds like a total whore. End of rant.
    AGREED! It's like, what the fuck, dude? Can't she just hire a friggin' clown to fuck? She was probably cheating on him on the side, too. Bitch. She seriously needs to get whipped.

    As for when I went through depression, other people had to tell me I was depressed, just like Halla. I also found my way out the exact same way he did.

    Is it universal then that depression for an ESTP involves being in a fog you don't quite understand? Cuz that's totally what it was for me. I had no idea what my feelings meant, but once I realized what they were all about, it took very little time at all for me to root it out, considering I was depressed for a few years.

    Also, a very practical solution would be to get him to take some St. John's Wort. That shit works, for real. It knocks the shit out of your depression. But get the LIQUID kind, not the pill form! The pill form ain't worth shit. It helped me a little at first but then it wore off after awhile.

    In fact if you take too much of the liquid form you seriously start tripping out. It's amazing but not great for when you're going to work.

    I took probably one and a half times the dose I should've once and on the way to work I felt like I'd found the secret to the entire universe and that with just a little more effort I could manipulate physical objects around me like the Matrix. I also started laughing a hell of a lot.

    No joke. And then one time I took too much o' that shit and I instinctively knew I had to go run it off cuz all a-sudden I had WAY too much pent-up energy. I started walking down a trail through a park and talking complete utter nonsense, only to see an old black dude like fifty yards away sitting on his porch laughing his ass off at me.

    So, only take one dropper full, and maybe less, cuz lemme tellya, I'm a tall fucker and I probably absorb that shit like it's water.

    But yeah, it makes you happy as shit, and energizes you full-force. Puts you in ESTP mode, basically. Take that shit and your life will be back on track in no time. That's all it took for me, and that's when I decided it was finally time to get my shit together and rocket up here to Seattle, which I did.

    All that happened last spring, and I moved up here last October. And I'm rockin' it like nobody's business.

    Every once in awhile we ALL need a good kick in the pants.

    Also, he needs proper sleep. When I don't get my proper rest I DO NOT act like my good ol' ESTP self. When I do, people never know what hit 'em. After I leave they all shake their heads and say, "Who WAS that shaggy-haired man, anyway?"

    But don't get TOO much sleep of course, cuz that only makes you more tired and wastes time for no good reason. I had to learn that the hard way.
    -stellar renegade
    coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
    stop it right on tiiiiime!


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  10. #10
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    *note to self... drug the ESTP*



    yeah- I fear that watching football will be his selection of something to cheer himself up this evening... which is my idea of living hell

    maybe I'll pelt him with paper airplanes... THAT tends to cheer him up!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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