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  1. #1
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Default ESFP's and learning to "slow down" in life

    I have a young ESFP relative who enjoys life in the fast lane, but who makes some very bad decisions sometimes. This person enjoys life and that's great, but it's hard for me to watch as they continue to make costly mistakes (not just monetarily, but costly in time, grief, pain to others, etc.) - getting caught up with the wrong crowd and bad situations, deciding to pour lots of money into a vehicle and then deciding to cut costs by driving without insurance and then driving aggressively and causing multiple-car collisions that involve injuries to others and a complete loss of the expensive, non-insured vehicle, and doing these types of things not just once - but again and again.

    For you ESFP's, what goes on in your head when these things happen? As you mature and get older, do you learn from these lessons and become wiser or do you prefer to just live life full throttle all the time and deal with the consequences later? Does it ever reach a point where something "clicks" in your mind and you think, "I just can't do these things anymore. It's fun to drive fast and race my car and have raging underage parties until the police show up, but it's just not worth it anymore."

  2. #2
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    I know an ESFP thatīs nearing her 40īs soon and she still seems to act more on her feelings than on the consequences her actions might cause. She still has to ask her friends why people react the way they do on behalf of her reckless behavior. I asked her out a couple of times before I knew her well and she always turned me down. After a while I stopped and ignored her totally and she ran around begging for my attention but she never got any and she got so pissed off she fucked some douchebag and donīt understand why I never look at her anymore. So the attentionwhoring doesnīt go away with age either.

    Edit. She is not an average ESFP though. I think she has deep issues(histrionic personality disorder).

  3. #3
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    I have a young ESFP relative who enjoys life in the fast lane, but who makes some very bad decisions sometimes. This person enjoys life and that's great, but it's hard for me to watch as they continue to make costly mistakes (not just monetarily, but costly in time, grief, pain to others, etc.) - getting caught up with the wrong crowd and bad situations, deciding to pour lots of money into a vehicle and then deciding to cut costs by driving without insurance and then driving aggressively and causing multiple-car collisions that involve injuries to others and a complete loss of the expensive, non-insured vehicle, and doing these types of things not just once - but again and again.

    For you ESFP's, what goes on in your head when these things happen? As you mature and get older, do you learn from these lessons and become wiser or do you prefer to just live life full throttle all the time and deal with the consequences later? Does it ever reach a point where something "clicks" in your mind and you think, "I just can't do these things anymore. It's fun to drive fast and race my car and have raging underage parties until the police show up, but it's just not worth it anymore."

    Warning, freewriting ramble fest. It's hard for me to put my thoughts to words on this matter:


    I only act this way when i'm under a lot of extra stress somehow. I spose I won't get into details, but I can relate at times. Mostly nothing is going through my head when i'm like this. It's all about myself and wanting to have fun and avoiding responsibility. We don't want things like car insurance buckling us down from the things we really want to do, if that makes sense. (Well, obviously it doesn't make sense at all, but that's the idea, we're not thinking, we're just reacting however we feel we want to.) I guess it's almost like a rebellion from the harsh obligations that life demands. I don't tend to do these things constantly but only once in a while I'll just go through kind of a wreckless manic phase. I've never thought, "it's just not worth it anymore!" Because I don't usually intend to be this way to begin with. I don't really think about much in terms of the past unless there were some great consequences. So, if i'm being good and logical right now. Then, that's what I am. And if i'm being crazy and reckless right now, then, that's what I am. Perhaps that's why we as ESFP's tend to repeat our mistakes? I've been extremely lucky to not suffer some extreme consequences from everything I've done, except for the ending of a great relationship which I regret. Age and experience will mellow anyone. In my case, I still don't give those actions a great deal of thought. Simply. "Well, can't change the past! Guess i'll have to be more responsible right now."

    I don't know if this ramble helped.
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  4. #4
    Musician Forever's Avatar
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    ESFP slowing down?!! Oxymoron b

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    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    I think what the OP is describing is youth? And the bad decisions that come with that?

    I have a very close ESFP friend. She is now married. SP's are generally pretty spontaneous. I don't think that gets lost but I see us as "learning the hard way" or "beating the system"

    So, what phase is your friend in, you know? Sometimes you gotta learn the hard way. The more close calls you get the more you think about things and mature.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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