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  1. #11
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    More threads like these please.

  2. #12
    Senior Member ilovereeses's Avatar
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    Thank you so much, MafiaAngel. I've found myself smitten by an ESFP and I was worried that it'd be one of those relationships that start out passionate, then die out. I don't want that at all! From what you wrote though, it seems to always be exciting! (Which is good in a way, cuz I don't like being bored). Only difference is that my ESFP has bi-polar disorder...
    eNFP 9w8 sx/sp

    ~Don't ignore the truth, it will set you free.

    ~10% of life is what happens to you, 90% of life is how you deal with it.

  3. #13
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    Thanks for the feedback on your relationship! So it has been 5 months since I posted that and I have to say that I don't think things are going to work out.. It has been about 9 months now.

    He is the sweetest most open and friendly guy ever but we just don't have similar life dreams. I really wish we did because he is so loving. He is all about the here and now though and fun with friends as a top priority leave no room for real long term goals except have a family and be with friends. I have more N dreams about traveling internationally and helping the world.. I don't think my viewpoint on life is any better, just too different from his. Yes, I want a great family and friends, but I need adventure at the same time and a sense of contribution to the world.

    I think maybe it could have worked if we had met later in life.. I am 26 and he is 28. I think I just need to explore the world more and find my place. I am still willing to wait for someone a little deeper and analytic about life. I just hope I don't have to compromise the loving and kindhearted nature that comes from an ESFP.

    There are some really annoying problems though.. He has to be the center of attention.. He will do ridiculous belly flips into the water. Actually he is known for them. INstead of kissing me on new years at 12am he did one into the freezing pool to impress his friends. Did it later that month too into the ocean at 32 degrees and got really sick. I told him it was dumb and he was embarassing me but he did it anyways. There were clients of his there and it was just so dumb to do in the winter. He doesn't know how to be professional.. it's all about fun.

    He also stretches the truth for stories all the time. I always says whatever story he is telling, divide the numeric part of it by 3. This is almost always a correct ratio.

    Also, he is so sensitive! If he's been drinking, he will not slow with the PDA. The other night I was like look, I know you love me but we don't have to kiss every minute in public. I don't mind some but he just does it too much. He was so offended.. This is just one of many many examples.

    There are a few other things that are hard to articulate but I just don't think we are compatible long term. Although he is not right for me, I think any other girl would be lucky to have him if they can put up with his need for attention in public from everyone..

    PS you are right about the sex.. esfps make you feel so comfortable and it is the best
    What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.

  4. #14
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    Ohhh..... I have plenty to say on this subject. Let me start with the conclusion. ENFP/ESFP starts out very passionately. But is usually destined for failure.

    I loved my ESFP sooooo much. He was kind and warm and outgoing. I loved all these things about him. When I was around him I was able to shut off my head and live in my body. We didn't site around and talk about things. We did them. I learned to hike and sail and play the drums. (And, the sex was fantabulous.)

    But after a while, I noticed that we were speaking different languages. I spoke in abstract. He spoke in concrete. For example, once we were walking around an historic neighborhood when he pointed to a house and said, "That's a pretty house." I responded by telling him it was a Queen Anne style house and discussion historic preservation. Later he said to me, "When I say to you 'that's a pretty house' I want you to respond by saying 'Yeah, I think it's pretty, too.' " My analysis bugged him. And his lack of analysis bugged me.

    So it was intense... and my strong N preference was very balanced when I was with him. This was a wonderful experience for me. But, I don't think there was any hope of it ever working.
    "why don't you just say it's pretty?" what a buzzkill.

    ... i might have made the same surface-level observation as him at first, not sure..i think i'm grounded (or maybe just balanced), but there's always a well of unstated ideas/directions i do see under the surface. i definitely don't get corrective if someone speaks like you did...i would have wanted more. then you would have cracked me like an egg, and my Ne would kick in. and then, Se again, because women like that are HOT.

    anyways, i'm kind of a conversation stopper with hardcore Ti oriented analysis. not much else.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    I have more N dreams about traveling internationally and helping the world.. I don't think my viewpoint on life is any better, just too different from his. Yes, I want a great family and friends, but I need adventure at the same time and a sense of contribution to the world.
    Classic NF-SP conflict. I know, I felt exactly the same way with the istp. Future couples, be aware.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Damir View Post
    p.s. i couldnt read what you posted,because im lazy
    Hehehe, you sounds like me, I never have too much patience to read long posts (although I write epic novels when I comment on forums with multiple chapters that make "Paradise Lost" look like just a couple of sentences). Is this a P thing?

    P.S. I'm a male ENFP, and I love to listen (especially emotions and gossip), just can't work with reading (without a biiiiiiiggggg cup of coffeee :pornstar.

  7. #17
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceRobin View Post
    I posted something similar in the NF private forum so I could get solely ENFP opinions but I'd like to get some ESFP opinions as well.

    I'm fairly new to the site so forgive me if this has been posted before and I'm not following proper thread etiquette so to day.

    So I'm an ENFP female dating an ESFP male. Have any of you ESFPs ever had a long term relationship with an ENFP? If so, what were the pros and cons? I have been with my ESFP for 5 or so months now. He was super quick to drop the L-bomb. Are you all so open or do you easily fall in love? I am really digging the openness though and the constant confirmations. Anyways, things are getting pretty serious but I'm not sure how our N and S will conflict as everyone says they will... What are your experiences?

    Also we're both P's and I can't stand the ESFPs chaos around the house. I'm unorganized and work on it but he is straight up unaware of his dirty surroundings and doesn't seem to care. Also, as ESFPs grow up, do they calm down on the partying? He's 28 right now. I know he likes to spend time with his friends a lot now, but as an older working adult, how long can you really keep this up? Do friends maintain top priority or does family/kids take over after marriage? Sorry if this seems offensive in any manner. Really not intending it to be. Thanks!
    I've never dated an ENFP, but can speak for living with myself, haha. And also speak to N-S relationships. I'm quick to fall for people, but not to drop the L-bomb. (I've always waited for the other person, but that could just be a female thing.) I've always found myself easy to live with, in part because I have very little schedule or routine. I just do what seems right next. This doesn't usually seem to get in the way- BECAUSE I am conscious of what other's think of me and want a happy home. SO, I do try to follow people's idosyncrosies and habits and avoid doing things that are going to cause conflict. This has only been a problem when I found the other person extremely nitpicky or impossible to follow all of their rules and demands. NFP's have never been nitpicky in my experience. Lived with a lot of people, including an INFP aunt, INFP roommate, and ENFP friend. All seemed really easy to get along with for me.

    You may be able to just tell him in a non-conflicting way things you expect to be done around the house, and as long as it's not a big long list, he'll probably follow it. On the other hand, i'm naturally pretty clean, not a total mess. In my own experience, mature ESFP's will calm down after marriage and kids, but still maintain that level of fun- just in a different way. Drinking and boozing and partying to all hours of the night will turn to impromtu days off from school to go ice skating. Still there should never be a dull moment. If I'm alone, I'm okay, but if I'm around someone, or someones, I tend to try to keep the fun and happy going.

    The only thing that sounds like a red flag with this guy is that house thing. I've never met an S to openly say, "Just say that the house is pretty", If an N goes off on one of their strange topics. If he does that all the time, it could be a problem. I've never had an issue in N relationships because while I default on Se, I never mind a good conversation. If I have nothing to add to the conversation, I just act interested and let them talk. I don't know if he's the same way.

    Otherwise, sounds good so far!
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

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  8. #18
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    They're fun, until they hate you. Then they're fucking hell.

  9. #19
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tawanda View Post
    They're fun, until they hate you. Then they're fucking hell.
    haha. oh man, so true.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  10. #20
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    What is with ESFPs and disorders?

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