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  1. #1
    Senior Member mwv6r's Avatar
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    Default What are female ISTPs like in a relationship?

    I find female ISTPs intriguing and am curious about how they tend to act / what they tend to value / how they are perceived in a relationship. So female ISTPs (or people who have dated them), what types do you usually go for, are you more attracted to thinkers or feelers, do you like to be in charge, what are common positives / negatives you tend to encounter in relationships, etc, etc, etc.

  2. #2
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    I find female ISTPs intriguing and am curious about how they tend to act
    I'm very reserved and quiet around people I don't know. People mistake me for being shy but I'm definitely not shy. I usually just don't care or feel the need to interact. I'm a minimalist. No one can make me do something I don't want to do. The words "strong" "tough" and "intense" are words used to describe me many times by people who don't know me that well. The words "sweet" "independent" and "distinctly individual" are from people who do know me well.

    what they tend to value
    I value honesty, efficiency, freedom and independence. My friendships are my lifeline to the world. So they are very valued and I am willing to take great strides to maintain and support them.

    how they are perceived in a relationship.


    So female ISTPs what types do you usually go for, are you more attracted to thinkers or feelers, do you like to be in charge, what are common positives / negatives you tend to encounter in relationships, etc, etc, etc.
    I've been with both and I definitely prefer a T in relationships. They aren't offended or made insecure by my bluntness. They even play off it. I love that. It's necessary that I can say what I think the way I want to say it and not have to translate it to be more palatable to the listener.

    I don't like to be in charge yet I will not be controlled. I like my relationships to be egalitarian. Each person has a strength that is used to compliment the others weakness and each recognizes this and celebrates it in the other. That's a beautiful thing.
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  3. #3
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    I'm very reserved and quiet around people I don't know. People mistake me for being shy but I'm definitely not shy. I usually just don't care or feel the need to interact. I'm a minimalist. No one can make me do something I don't want to do. The words "strong" "tough" and "intense" are words used to describe me many times by people who don't know me that well. The words "sweet" "independent" and "distinctly individual" are from people who do know me well.

    what they tend to value
    I value honesty, efficiency, freedom and independence. My friendships are my lifeline to the world. So they are very valued and I am willing to take great strides to maintain and support them.

    how they are perceived in a relationship.


    So female ISTPs what types do you usually go for, are you more attracted to thinkers or feelers, do you like to be in charge, what are common positives / negatives you tend to encounter in relationships, etc, etc, etc.
    I've been with both and I definitely prefer a T in relationships. They aren't offended or made insecure by my bluntness. They even play off it. I love that. It's necessary that I can say what I think the way I want to say it and not have to translate it to be more palatable to the listener.

    I don't like to be in charge yet I will not be controlled. I like my relationships to be egalitarian. Each person has a strength that is used to compliment the others weakness and each recognizes this and celebrates it in the other. That's a beautiful thing.
    I gotta say I agree with what MDP2525 has to say. I started writing up a response and it was almost all a rewrite of what is already there.

    I definitely value my friendships, but I'm not sure I'm good at maintaining them. I guess it depends on the scenario. I try to keep them happy and be there for them, but at the same time I get bored with people and sometimes they change for the worse. Most of the time I think I get bored with people and move on.

    Another thing I really appreciate is feedback. Positive feedback is usually easy enough to give and receive. I'm really looking for a little bit of negative feedback if there is any. Someone has to tell the emperor he's not wearing any clothes. How can I make myself better? How can we be better friends? What about me bothers you? I'm not going to randomly pick up on signals or hints. I don't play that game with people and I certainly shouldn't be expected to play along with others just 'cause they play it. I guess that ties in with honesty.

    I've also dated both and lemme tell ya, T ftw.
    I 65.63% E 34.38%
    S 68.75% N 31.25%
    T 87.1% F 12.9%
    P 66.67% J 33.33%

  4. #4
    Widdles in your cream.
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    I find female ISTPs intriguing and am curious about how they tend to act

    Quiet, contained, and assertive. I wouldn't say she's shy at all, from detached observation or from what I've known of her. She's polite to strangers, but otherwise treats everyone equally. The IXFX types flock around her like moths to a flame, basking in her "aura of self-confidence" and sing her praises from a safe distance. We haven't been going out for that long - nearly three months - but I can't help but wonder what it is they find so amazing about her. She doesn't do anything; maybe it's just the way she carries herself. I dunno. She jokes about it "boosting her already inflated ego", but it makes her a little uncomfortable, I think.

    what they tend to value

    Space, space and more space. Shared interests are also a bonus. A partner who isn't sensitive so they can use your ego as a scratching post. Kidding. But if you don't like being teased, then you may have a bit of trouble. Luckily I'm the one who pwns her at banter:

    ISTP: Well send [Housemate] my condolences
    ISTP says: Your mom broke him
    INTP says: Is that so?
    ISTP says: Broke him like a bronco
    ISTP says: Yeeeehaw
    INTP says: she couldn't be with him last night
    INTP says: Because I was.
    ISTP says: Spoil sport......WHAT.
    ISTP says: [housemate], I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL
    INTP says: OH HE TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOU
    ISTP says: NOOOOO
    INTP says: Apparently he's been with a lot better.
    ISTP says: D:
    INTP says: I think his exact words were "barely average".
    ISTP says: DDD:
    ISTP says: DDDDDD:
    ISTP says: T.T
    INTP says: At least that's what I thought he said. He had his mouth full.
    ISTP hangs self
    ISTP says: M-m-maybe you misheard?
    INTP says: Dead people don't talk.

    This is how we usually begin a conversation. Always with the "yo mamma" jokes. Tsk. When will she learn? Never challenge an INTP to a game of banter. You will always lose.


    how they are perceived in a relationship. So female ISTPs (or people who have dated them)

    Offline, she acts like a friend. We chill out, go watch a movie or eat icecream. Which is cool. She'll have her once-in-a-blue-moon snuggly moments. But otherwise, you would think we were a couple of friends hanging out.

    When we talk online, which is a lot more common (See: IXTP need for space), well, see above. While we chat on Skype, she's sending me links that Imustclicknowomgsocool. I'm a little more affectionate, verbally:

    INTP: <3 Missed you~
    ISTP: How was your day?

    I remember within the first week of going out, she said to me through an email, "I just thought I'd let you know that I'm head over heels for you". Which made me doubt her type, if I'm honest. Either that, or I witnessed a burst of inferior Fe.

    She likes to draw. She sent me an email on Christmas morning, with an adorable picture of an echidna. A note saying, "I thought of you and doodled". She knows echidnas are my favourite animal. Sweetest thing ever.

    what types do you usually go for, are you more attracted to thinkers or feelers, do you like to be in charge, what are common positives / negatives you tend to encounter in relationships, etc, etc, etc.

    She comes across as "passively dominant", if that makes sense. There is no real power-playing in the relationship, but she likes to call the shots in terms of communication - she initiates and I respond. I like this system because that way I know for sure that she wants to spend time with me, plus I'm happy enough to do my own thing. The odd hello is enough for me, really. I have my own distractions and so does she. I think that's why it works.

    ---

    Content may not apply, as we're both young (eighteen).
    Um, yeah.

  5. #5
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
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    They're like most other sensor women: "Spend money on me or i won't feel loved."

    c'mon, tell me I'm wrong! fight me!

  6. #6
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nozflubber View Post
    They're like most other sensor women: "Spend money on me or i won't feel loved."

    c'mon, tell me I'm wrong! fight me!
    I don't expect people to spend money on me. Time? Yes. Money? Not so much. If you can find a way to have cheap awesome adventures, I'm all for it.
    I 65.63% E 34.38%
    S 68.75% N 31.25%
    T 87.1% F 12.9%
    P 66.67% J 33.33%

  7. #7
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    Another thing I really appreciate is feedback. Positive feedback is usually easy enough to give and receive. I'm really looking for a little bit of negative feedback if there is any. Someone has to tell the emperor he's not wearing any clothes. How can I make myself better? How can we be better friends? What about me bothers you? I'm not going to randomly pick up on signals or hints.
    Absolutely!

    Quote Originally Posted by Grungemouse View Post
    [B]The IXFX types flock around her like moths to a flame.
    .

    NF's in general seem to flock to us.
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  8. #8
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    Keep me updated...

    I do have a strange attraction to ISTP women...

  9. #9
    Member lilikoi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    I find female ISTPs intriguing and am curious about how they tend to act
    I'm very reserved and quiet around people I don't know. People mistake me for being shy but I'm definitely not shy. I usually just don't care or feel the need to interact. I'm a minimalist. No one can make me do something I don't want to do. The words "strong" "tough" and "intense" are words used to describe me many times by people who don't know me that well. The words "sweet" "independent" and "distinctly individual" are from people who do know me well.

    what they tend to value
    I value honesty, efficiency, freedom and independence. My friendships are my lifeline to the world. So they are very valued and I am willing to take great strides to maintain and support them.

    how they are perceived in a relationship.


    So female ISTPs what types do you usually go for, are you more attracted to thinkers or feelers, do you like to be in charge, what are common positives / negatives you tend to encounter in relationships, etc, etc, etc.
    I've been with both and I definitely prefer a T in relationships. They aren't offended or made insecure by my bluntness. They even play off it. I love that. It's necessary that I can say what I think the way I want to say it and not have to translate it to be more palatable to the listener.

    I don't like to be in charge yet I will not be controlled. I like my relationships to be egalitarian. Each person has a strength that is used to compliment the others weakness and each recognizes this and celebrates it in the other. That's a beautiful thing.
    Second everything you said. It is as though I wrote it myself.

    I don't think I could ever be in a serious relationship with an F.

    I need to be with someone that is adventurous and curious. Likes new experiences and doing outdoorsy things. Definitely NOT conservative. Otherwise I get bored.

  10. #10
    Member lilikoi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grungemouse View Post
    I find female ISTPs intriguing and am curious about how they tend to act

    Quiet, contained, and assertive. I wouldn't say she's shy at all, from detached observation or from what I've known of her. She's polite to strangers, but otherwise treats everyone equally. The IXFX types flock around her like moths to a flame, basking in her "aura of self-confidence" and sing her praises from a safe distance. We haven't been going out for that long - nearly three months - but I can't help but wonder what it is they find so amazing about her. She doesn't do anything; maybe it's just the way she carries herself. I dunno. She jokes about it "boosting her already inflated ego", but it makes her a little uncomfortable, I think.

    what they tend to value

    Space, space and more space. Shared interests are also a bonus. A partner who isn't sensitive so they can use your ego as a scratching post. Kidding. But if you don't like being teased, then you may have a bit of trouble. Luckily I'm the one who pwns her at banter:

    ISTP: Well send [Housemate] my condolences
    ISTP says: Your mom broke him
    INTP says: Is that so?
    ISTP says: Broke him like a bronco
    ISTP says: Yeeeehaw
    INTP says: she couldn't be with him last night
    INTP says: Because I was.
    ISTP says: Spoil sport......WHAT.
    ISTP says: [housemate], I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL
    INTP says: OH HE TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOU
    ISTP says: NOOOOO
    INTP says: Apparently he's been with a lot better.
    ISTP says: D:
    INTP says: I think his exact words were "barely average".
    ISTP says: DDD:
    ISTP says: DDDDDD:
    ISTP says: T.T
    INTP says: At least that's what I thought he said. He had his mouth full.
    ISTP hangs self
    ISTP says: M-m-maybe you misheard?
    INTP says: Dead people don't talk.

    This is how we usually begin a conversation. Always with the "yo mamma" jokes. Tsk. When will she learn? Never challenge an INTP to a game of banter. You will always lose.


    how they are perceived in a relationship. So female ISTPs (or people who have dated them)

    Offline, she acts like a friend. We chill out, go watch a movie or eat icecream. Which is cool. She'll have her once-in-a-blue-moon snuggly moments. But otherwise, you would think we were a couple of friends hanging out.

    When we talk online, which is a lot more common (See: IXTP need for space), well, see above. While we chat on Skype, she's sending me links that Imustclicknowomgsocool. I'm a little more affectionate, verbally:

    INTP: <3 Missed you~
    ISTP: How was your day?

    I remember within the first week of going out, she said to me through an email, "I just thought I'd let you know that I'm head over heels for you". Which made me doubt her type, if I'm honest. Either that, or I witnessed a burst of inferior Fe.

    She likes to draw. She sent me an email on Christmas morning, with an adorable picture of an echidna. A note saying, "I thought of you and doodled". She knows echidnas are my favourite animal. Sweetest thing ever.

    what types do you usually go for, are you more attracted to thinkers or feelers, do you like to be in charge, what are common positives / negatives you tend to encounter in relationships, etc, etc, etc.

    She comes across as "passively dominant", if that makes sense. There is no real power-playing in the relationship, but she likes to call the shots in terms of communication - she initiates and I respond. I like this system because that way I know for sure that she wants to spend time with me, plus I'm happy enough to do my own thing. The odd hello is enough for me, really. I have my own distractions and so does she. I think that's why it works.

    ---

    Content may not apply, as we're both young (eighteen).
    Yep, second uses partner's ego as scratching post. I never really understood WHY I needed to do this, but I definitely do.

    Also second sending links. This is how I keep in touch w/ some of my friends! W/ some we literally send each other links back and forth and that is it until we meet up in person to partake in a shared hobby.

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