[ISTP] too much istp stuff I know.....

[cooliogirly1000]

but I want to know, can ISTPs forgive people easily?

How bad must an action someone has done against them be, for an ISTP to never forgive them and to never talk to them again?


no I haven't done anything to you ISTPs

 

[sLiPpY]

Depends on the scenario. If someone does something, and they tell me about it...I don't get mad.

If someone does something, and they lie to me about it...das boot!

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

We are fast becoming the INTP's of the SP Arthouse with so many threads. :O

To answer the OP:

Depends. Details?

I agree with Slippy.

We forgive easy but never forget.

 

[mcmartinez84]

I second sLiPpYs motion

 

[Walking Tourist]

I'm not an istp, but, yes, I agree. I don't like lies. If you lie, that's it. Bye bye.:steam:

 

[McRumi]

ISTPs are egalitarians so trust is sine qua non. Deception and manipulation are no-nos. The good news is that ISTPs are always open to forgiveness, but not unless the offending party fesses up and restores equilibrium. Why? Because worrying about someone you can't trust takes up too much valuable energy ...best to put them in the deep freeze til honesty thaws their hearts and the equilibrium is restored.

Only Js are prone to absolute shut outs (religious extremists are all Js) ...Ps are always
open to redemption....after confession.

 

[Amargith]

..and showing remorse.

 

[LEGERdeMAIN]

An offense that is lied about is much worse. I agree with the slippy.

 

[McRumi]

..and showing remorse.

LOL.

for the ISTP, showing remorse takes up too much time.

 

[Amargith]

LOL.

for the ISTP, showing remorse takes up too much time.

Oh I won't wait around for it..but it's essential to get me to trust you again. I can be friendly without though, but that's got it's limits

If someone hasn't learned from their mistakes by realizing they made one in the first place and fessing up to it, showing that they realize it was wrong.... I mean, what's a confession without remorse? It's the acknowledgement that they did something. That doesn't mean that they acknowledge that action to be therefore also somethign that should not be repeated because it caused harm to someone. Some people may confess something, promising never to do it again, without actually showing remorse. That's fine, but without that acceptance of guilt, it means they're more likely to do it again, as they did not see it as something to be avoid, just something they agreed would not do around the other person again. And that's fine, I have several 'agreements' like this, where someone pointed out that my behavior bothers them. I'll try to work around it, make sure it doesn't bother them agian, but I'll refuse to share their belief that what I did was 'wrong'.

When that is the case with another person, and I'm the one offended, I tend to try and understand where they come from, why they don't see it as a mistake and work around it. But I won't trust them again around that issue. Though I may very well do so on other matters

HOw does it work for ISTPs then?

 

[McRumi]

HOw does it work for ISTPs then?

ISTPs normally don't show emotion...we actually have to fake it to make it easier for those we love...which doesn't mean the emotion isn't real, it's just introverted. So waiting for signs of remorse are futile.

What you can look for is behavior...do they continue to do the same thing or is there a real change of behavior?

ISTPs look for this as well..after all...all that really matters is what you do, not what you say. For ISTPs talk is not only cheap, it's worthless...unless its funny, then it's priceless.

Unfortunately, ISTPs are not very sympathetic in front of jurors...they just don't show their emotions. And they are impatient to get on with life.

 

[Amargith]

It's odd that.. I find that actions are often misinterpreted as the execution of said actions tends to be off sometimes. But the intention is what matters to me. I guess it's normal that for you it would be action that counts. But do you ever realize that maybe others, who aren't as good as you to be in the moment, to be the action, can therefore be falsely judged, because the execution of their intent wasn't done the way it should've been?

 

[mcmartinez84]

It's odd that.. I find that actions are often misinterpreted as the execution of said actions tends to be off sometimes. But the intention is what matters to me. I guess it's normal that for you it would be action that counts. But do you ever realize that maybe others, who aren't as good as you to be in the moment, to be the action, can therefore be falsely judged, because the execution of their intent wasn't done the way it should've been?

Basicall if I'm doing it, I mean it. Take it or leave it most of the time. I pretty much agree with what McRumi said in the last post. That's just how we go about it. I realize that some people want that verbal confirmation and (believe me!) I try with the people I care about. But words are just words, imo. You can say anything...but can you do it? Do you mean it enough to really do it? Now show me.

 

[McRumi]

It's odd that.. I find that actions are often misinterpreted as the execution of said actions tends to be off sometimes. But the intention is what matters to me. I guess it's normal that for you it would be action that counts. But do you ever realize that maybe others, who aren't as good as you to be in the moment, to be the action, can therefore be falsely judged, because the execution of their intent wasn't done the way it should've been?

Of course. Life isn't perfect.

 

[Poki]

ISTPs normally don't show emotion...we actually have to fake it to make it easier for those we love...which doesn't mean the emotion isn't real, it's just introverted. So waiting for signs of remorse are futile.

What you can look for is behavior...do they continue to do the same thing or is there a real change of behavior?

ISTPs look for this as well..after all...all that really matters is what you do, not what you say. For ISTPs talk is not only cheap, it's worthless...unless its funny, then it's priceless.
Unfortunately, ISTPs are not very sympathetic in front of jurors...they just don't show their emotions. And they are impatient to get on with life.

You sound just like my wife in regards to ther bolded part. Are you sure your not LSI?

Oh I won't wait around for it..but it's essential to get me to trust you again. I can be friendly without though, but that's got it's limits

If someone hasn't learned from their mistakes by realizing they made one in the first place and fessing up to it, showing that they realize it was wrong.... I mean, what's a confession without remorse? It's the acknowledgement that they did something. That doesn't mean that they acknowledge that action to be therefore also somethign that should not be repeated because it caused harm to someone. Some people may confess something, promising never to do it again, without actually showing remorse. That's fine, but without that acceptance of guilt, it means they're more likely to do it again, as they did not see it as something to be avoid, just something they agreed would not do around the other person again. And that's fine, I have several 'agreements' like this, where someone pointed out that my behavior bothers them. I'll try to work around it, make sure it doesn't bother them agian, but I'll refuse to share their belief that what I did was 'wrong'.

When that is the case with another person, and I'm the one offended, I tend to try and understand where they come from, why they don't see it as a mistake and work around it. But I won't trust them again around that issue. Though I may very well do so on other matters

How does it work for ISTPs then?

I agree with this and when things hit the extreme go so far as to change what I believe to work around it. For an ISTP I change things logically instead of feelings. This is what it takes to keep me healthy in situations.

In regard to my limit. Purposely screw me over and its done, you will wish you never met me or be glad something is keeping me from returning the favor. Think ESTP revenge driven by a tremendous amount of thought and logic. Everything else I agree with Amar and I am a pretty flexible person.

 

[Poki]

I agree with this and when things hit the extreme go so far as to change what I believe to work around it. For an ISTP I change things logically instead of feelings. This is what it takes to keep me healthy in situations.

ok, the way a SLI brain works.

thoughts "change things internally logically"
thought pops up "mom(NFP) makes my son think"
another thought pops up "NFPs are good at guiding people"
final conclusion "NFP duality is because they can logically undue what the ISTp(SLI) does to themselves"

 

[countrygirl]

It's odd that.. I find that actions are often misinterpreted as the execution of said actions tends to be off sometimes. But the intention is what matters to me. I guess it's normal that for you it would be action that counts. But do you ever realize that maybe others, who aren't as good as you to be in the moment, to be the action, can therefore be falsely judged, because the execution of their intent wasn't done the way it should've been?

I agree that intention is what matters but that comes from the heart and the easiest way to judge a person's heart is through their actions. Hense talk is cheap.

 

[Poki]

I agree that intention is what matters but that comes from the heart and the easiest way to judge a person's heart is through their actions. Hense talk is cheap.

Talk before action is cheap, talk after action can show intention.

 

[McRumi]

Talk before action is cheap, talk after action can show intention.

Talk/Action. It's all relative. The ISTP watches for patterns over a very long time. Which is why sometimes an ISTP can suddenly break off a long relationship seemingly out of nowhere...it's the final act after years of observing and small but pointed warnings. Conversely, soeone may foind out that an ISTP has liked them -a lot!-for many years and the person has no clue whatsoever.

Which is why living non-judgmentally is always the best course. Assume the best unless you have rock-solid proof otherwise. THAT is the ISTP MO at it s best. We don't expect anyone else to understand it. Nor is their understanding necessary...only our own integrity.

Life isn't fair. We know that. Nada problema.

 

[Poki]

Talk/Action. It's all relative. The ISTP watches for patterns over a very long time. Which is why sometimes an ISTP can suddenly break off a long relationship seemingly out of nowhere...it's the final act after years of observing and small but pointed warnings. Conversely, soeone may foind out that an ISTP has liked them -a lot!-for many years and the person has no clue whatsoever.

Which is why living non-judgmentally is always the best course. Assume the best unless you have rock-solid proof otherwise. THAT is the ISTP MO at it s best. We don't expect anyone else to understand it. Nor is their understanding necessary...only our own integrity.

Life isn't fair. We know that. Nada problema.

We have obviously had to deal with much different problems in life. I grew up with my dual for 18 years, then have been with my conflicting pair for 11 or 12 years. I agree 100% an ISTP can suddenly break off a long term relationship seemingly out of no where, but you seem to miss the other side of the spectrum about intentions. This is the little twist that people put on actions and why they do them. This is what I believe drives the ENFP to ask themselves "why"(not always an external why), this is what drives the ENFJ into self-deception. This is what ISTPs look at without asking why. We first analyze the functional or objective side regardless of intention, then we will get to the intentions later. But honestly if the functional or objective side works then nada problema. Live and let live.

My motto would be more along the lines of "you cant argue with what works"