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  1. #1

    Default commitment phobe ISTPs

    In personalitypages, the following is mentioned about ISTPs.

    ISTPs take their commitments on a day-by-day basis. Even if they say "I do", it usually means "I do for now". They do not like to make lifelong commitments, although they may very well be involved in lifelong relationships which they have taken one day at a time.


    So how is that some ISTPs end up married, and how long does it take for them to get there...years?

  2. #2
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    Seems like there are a lot of ISTP's that marry young, say by the age of 21.

    I've personally known three or four, and seems valid in reference to previous threads here.

    One comes to mind that broke up with his wife about six times through the years, they'd
    started dating in High School.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Heinel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    One comes to mind that broke up with his wife about six times through the years, they'd
    started dating in High School.
    That sounds exciting.
    Check out my blog: http://OrnateRitual.com

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    Senior Member McRumi's Avatar
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    There are two layers: ISTPs are very committed emotionally over the long term...very very loyal...but not committed in the short term, in the day-to-day, hour-to-hour practical living thing. They live both "in the moment," and thus prone to freeze out those who disappoint, and yet are so generous, egalitarian and open-minded that their emotional commitments are life-long. Hard to explain.

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    What McRumi said rings very true to me.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Clonester's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McRumi View Post
    There are two layers: ISTPs are very committed emotionally over the long term...very very loyal...but not committed in the short term, in the day-to-day, hour-to-hour practical living thing. They live both "in the moment," and thus prone to freeze out those who disappoint, and yet are so generous, egalitarian and open-minded that their emotional commitments are life-long. Hard to explain.

    That makes a lot of sense.
    ENFP Male: E-74% N-95% F-58% P-84% 3w2
    "I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely." -Kim Basinger

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    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    It would depend if he wanted and valued marriage and children. I also feel that it is important to recognize and accept their needs for freedom and independance. If they have this within a relationship, then they will not feel 'trapped' and will commit wholeheartedly in a long term relationship.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Heinel View Post
    That sounds exciting.
    The kicker is it didn't occur to the ISTP to let his parents know he was the one breaking up each time. So they held a low opinion of the future wife, until his mom made a point after the engagement.

    And he was like?

    ok mom, no it was me breaking up, she didn't dump me.

  9. #9
    Senior Member McRumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    The kicker is it didn't occur to the ISTP to let his parents know he was the one breaking up each time. So they held a low opinion of the future wife, until his mom made a point after the engagement.

    And he was like?

    ok mom, no it was me breaking up, she didn't dump me.
    She still blames her.

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    Quote Originally Posted by McRumi View Post
    She still blames her.
    Yes!

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