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  1. #41
    Senior Member McRumi's Avatar
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    Oh, that feels good, then!

  2. #42
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    ENFJ and an ISTP?

    The one I dated was very enjoyable going out and doing stuff. Broad range of topics we'd talk about, that's what made it attractive I think for both of us.

    Then we get the not so bright idea to try and live together. If I described that time frame as a living hell, that would be putting it mildly.

    It's like exact opposites repel when sharing an enclosed space.

    Got to the point where I'd get up early in the morning, just to sit out on the porch and enjoy a cup of coffee while listening to the birds chirp, or the neighbors dog take it's morning crap in the yard.

    And dammit, she'd notice I was up and about...even though I'd carefully tip-toed out.

    So there I was wanting quiet and space, and on the opposite end of the spectrum...there she was wanting to spend some time with me. I never told her it irritated me that she didn't sleep in.

    And gosh dammit, it was every day.

    Then there were the evenings when she wanted me to sit on the sofa and watch one of her "Women in Peril" movies with her on ABC's "Women in Peril" Cable TV Channel. In less than twenty minutes I'd be up and about doing something else, and she'd pout.

    I hope things go better...for these two, I really liked my ENFJ and cared about her, might even have married her if she'd been willing to live somewhere else.

  3. #43
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    ^That was hilarious.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  4. #44
    Senior Member McRumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    ENFJ and an ISTP?

    The ENFJ person I spoke of previously came to my house to use it as a place to escape from her family and to write (she is a published author) ...after 10 minutes, she packed up and left. The vibe in my house is so strongly introverted that I think it drove her mad.

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by McRumi View Post
    The ENFJ person I spoke of previously came to my house to use it as a place to escape from her family and to write (she is a published author) ...after 10 minutes, she packed up and left. The vibe in my house is so strongly introverted that I think it drove her mad.
    hmm...example 2 of the Case Thesis

    "It's like exact opposites repel when sharing an enclosed space."

    So ISTP's are to ENFJ's as Garlic is to Vampires

  6. #46
    Senior Member McRumi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    hmm...example 2 of the Case Thesis

    "It's like exact opposites repel when sharing an enclosed space."

    So ISTP's are to ENFJ's as Garlic is to Vampires
    Probably more like ENFJs are to ISTPs as garlic is to vampires, and ISTPs are to ENFPs as silver bullets are to vampires. ENFJs merely annoy ISTPs or put them to sleep. but ISTPs can be devastating to an ENFJ.

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by McRumi View Post
    Probably more like ENFJs are to ISTPs as garlic is to vampires, and ISTPs are to ENFPs as silver bullets are to vampires. ENFJs merely annoy ISTPs or put them to sleep. but ISTPs can be devastating to an ENFJ.
    Devastating, uh yeh that's putting it mildly.


  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    It really means the world to me when someone is willing to work with me on something, meeting half-way and whatnot.
    For some reason this really stumps me and means the world to me also. I guess I just never expect anyone to work with me in regards to my stuff.

    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    If he's with you he is aware. I dated an ENFJ for two years. You guys are good at making yourselves known.

    This is where it gets tricky. You want reassurance. We aren't so good at that. I would even go so far as telling someone that "everything will be fine" and "It'll work out" feels like we are playing ourselves out of tune.

    We can't tell you what's going to happen in the future. We can't make those "reassurances" because they are akin to small promises that he has no control over fulfilling.

    Why look to him for faith? You either trust his feelings for you or you don't. For all the N in the world - guess what - you don't know what's going to happen with you guys. He knows this. He wants you to enjoy today with him

    If today is enjoyable and the next day is and then the next day is...see the pattern?

    I realize that you are the one who is doing most of the adapting in this relationship. That shows your desire to understand him and connect to him but it's incredibly stressful.

    Not only does the squeaky wheel get the oil; it gets to oil itself. No doubt this is tiring.


    You pretty much nailed it on the head. With an ISTP its more of a balance over time, not based on right now.

    Quote Originally Posted by McRumi View Post
    Probably more like ENFJs are to ISTPs as garlic is to vampires, and ISTPs are to ENFPs as silver bullets are to vampires. ENFJs merely annoy ISTPs or put them to sleep. but ISTPs can be devastating to an ENFJ.
    Isnt this true for just about any T type with an F type?
    Im out, its been fun

  9. #49
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    For some reason this really stumps me and means the world to me also. I guess I just never expect anyone to work with me in regards to my stuff.
    I love to think that people will, but I never expect them to either. I guess I assume they won't care or they're too busy/lazy/whatever or that their stance is just *that* much superior to mine. It's definitely a breath of fresh air when someone does. I really can't tell you how meaningful it is.

    toast, we need more people like you on this planet
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  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I wholeheartedly agree with that, Poki. Is it the stress that makes her then 'abuse' Fe instead of use it properly? Perhaps that's a question for Fe-doms out there to answer.

    It's a good example though. You use Se to find stuff and spot things more easily, where as she does not. However, instead of respecting the fact that you help her out, she seems more frustrated that she cannot do it alone, resulting in redirected aggression. Right?
    I dont know it feels more like it is truly blame not redirected agression from within.

    I see what your saying though as we butt heads big time in regards to things like this. If someone screws something up to many times I change what I do and take away that responsibility and do it on my own instead of having it cause an issue between me and that person. If this happens enough I will end up doing everything on my own. What ends up happening 99% of the time is we allow others to do what they are good at for us and we handle the rest.

    I sometimes wonder if what I do is really noticed, the only other thought is that I do it smoothly to the point where its not noticed which is what seems like happens. I will go out of my way to make things not obvious, its part of how I see how people respond to things. Then NFPs get this desire to know whats going on, they always have to know why:steam:
    Im out, its been fun

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