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Thread: ISFPs/ENFPs

  1. #1
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Default ISFPs/ENFPs

    Does this combination actually work?



    What are the pluses/minuses?



    Can you advise on the care/feeding/nurturing of a hypothetical ISFP who might be attending a hypothetical christmas party as a hypothetical ENFP's potential hypothetical date?

  2. #2
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    Well I dated an ENFP...it didn't work out.
    It was such a shallow relationship that I couldn't handle it.
    But trust me, its not because he's an ENFP, its because he had problems of his own.
    But his personality and mine didn't seem to mesh well either.
    He was very charming...but it was all very empty to me. He never listened to what I had to say and he'd spend all his free time with friends and never think to hang out with me. I was never invited to parties that he went to or anything. I felt like I put more effort into the relationship than he cared to and it didn't make me feel special. I just felt used.

    But I do say that he was the life of the party and he was fun when around other people.
    But alone he was different. And not in a good way.

    As I'm sure I had my own crap I carried into the relationship as well.
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  3. #3
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    It worked great for about a year!

    THEN IT ALL CAME CRASHING DOWN
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  4. #4
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    My ex was an ISFP and we were together almost 4 years. Would've been much longer if it hadn't been for circumstance. We were best friends and the relationship was very good overall. My jealousy was a downside, and he lied to me a few times, which really pissed me off. Our immaturity was our ultimate downfall though. We were too young to be as involved as we were, but neither of us had any regrets about being together. We had lots of fun together, lots of romance, understanding, etc..There was almost a brother-sister component, but we were both highly attracted to each other. He was also sentimental about some things and very family oriented. He took care of his younger family members without any complaints, which I really respected about him. His younger siblings looked up to him.

    He always told me he loved my energy, all the crazy ideas I had, my loyalty to him(I was kinda like his groupie). It worked for us. Very easy relationship overall.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member bighairything's Avatar
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    I think it can potentially be a very good combination. Or at least I hope so as I'm currently four months into a relationship with an ISFP. Actually, until couple of days ago I had her typed as an almost dead cert INFP and hadn't even considered ISFP, then I read a comment on here about ISFPs and it hit me like an epiphany.

    The upsides: sensual fun in bed, and a strong emotional bond. She's warm, laid back, and just has something very soothing about her.

    The downsides (from the ENFPs perspective): she doesn't verbally communicate so easily, which is something we've had to work on. Doing so has been very rewarding, but you've still got to make the effort.

    On a related note, I've felt I've had to be the one to "take charge" of the relationship, initiating all the key moments. It's been an interesting learning process, so I'm not complaining, but it's not something that comes naturally, and there have been times when I've slightly resented effectively having to be the J in the relationship.

  6. #6

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    just got out of a relationship with an ENFP. things were very good at first, but went downhill mostly because of me. I couldn't communicate my feelings to her that well and it annoyed her a lot and it ended up as just us loving each other so much but stressing each other out even more.

    I read somewhere that this kind of relationship is kind of moth and flame (drawn towards flame, gets burned, drawn towards it again) and I think that's extremely accurate. things would always be good and slowly, inevitably get worse and then there'd be an argument and lots of crying and breakup would be near but then we'd forgive each other and everything would be good again. then it repeats!

    I dunno if it's gonna be different for all of you, but I can easily say I learned a lot from her and had a lot of really great times with her.

    I love ENFPs

  7. #7
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    I agree with warm, I learned alot from dating my ENFP. He had the greatest impact on my life I think. Some times...I just didn't feel like I could keep up with him and his popularity with sooooo many girls. :steam:
    It was cool to know that he liked me, and not all of them...but there were always girls flirting with him and he'd flirt back [he said he wasn't flirting...just being friendly].
    I was the most intimate with him as well. He amazed me so. I'd never felt so strongly EVER! I know I wasn't in love, but I felt strongly for him.
    But he never approached conflicts and I always had to. Alot of times I had to wear the pants and thats not how I feel it should be.
    He was wonderful about meeting my physical needs. He was very gentle and very loving in action towards me. We both could do that wonderfully....but he just never listened to me. I think I ended up annoying him because he stopped all of a sudden wanting to be with me and spent all his time for a whole month with friends and never with me. I approached him, but he blew it off. I should've broken up with him...but instead he broke up with me and the excuse was "I feel that God is telling me to break off the relationship."
    That was a sucker punch to gut...

    But really, ENFPs are wonderful to be around. They're just so fun and charming, but if you don't have one thats mature in his thinking then its not going to work.
    Not to mention, he also had ADD. Oh boy....
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  8. #8
    Senior Member seamaid's Avatar
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    One of my best friends is ISFP and she recently broke up with her ENFP ex of 7 years. It looked like they were a great match in many ways (the mutual romanticism and love of exciting activities and humanities), but in the end they didn't work out because their goals were different.

    He wanted to go to a far off foreign country and do humanitarian work and she wanted to live in a big city and be an artist. And she said she got fed up with his whining, although I think it was because he felt he wasn't where he was supposed to be.

    But if your aspirations match up, I think this is usually a very rewarding relationship.

    Oh, and my ISFP friend also felt she had to wear the pants in their relationship. It had a mommy-child feel to it and she was bugged by that...

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