Some fraternity bros and I were floating (drunk as all hell) down a spring fed river in Central Florida called ginnie springs.
Having done this many times before, I was well aware of the several opportunities to impress the ladies along the way.
One of these "opportunities" was a tree (deciduous not conifer, but I can't remember what type) hanging cock-eyed out over the river due to an eroded foundation under it's roots. This tree was about 60' tall, with cut off 2x4's nailed into the trunk to make a crude ladder.
Well, about 25' up this thing, a particularly long and level branch hung out over the crystal clear water of the spring.
It was the custom of young Florida frat boys in their prime, to climb this behemoth (while 3 sheets to the wind) and either jump or swing (with an attached rope) out of the tree and into the water, in order to impress any ladies said frat boy decided to bring along for the day's festivities.
On the day in question, this young drunk Florida frat boy brought a girl (whose name escapes him at present), and in hopes of impressing her, he decided that he would get exceedingly drunk (to show her he could hold his booze compared to the other nancy boys in attendance) and jump out of this damn tree, which would surely sway the heart of any young strumpet.
His plan proceeds flawlessly, the cooler he brought has it's own flotation device and is filled with a handle of beam, some ginger ale, and 18 miller lights.
According to frat boys, this amount of alcohol will serve 2-5 people.
His inner-tube allows him to hang his ass in the water the entire time and piss on himself in blissful anonymity.
Thus, he proceeds to get "to` up, from the flo` up".
This continues for maybe an hour while the water brings them slowly to the tree.
Our frat boy rounds a bend and catches sight of the tree about 300 yards down the way. Having been a swimmer in High School, he slips out of his tube and rockets towards the tree in a drunken flailing furry.
He arrives a minute or two (or three) later, out of breathe but blissfully happy with his display for the lady.
Climbing up the tree, he realizes that maybe it wasn't the best idea to have that third quadruple whiskey and ginger ale. None the less, he makes it to the level branch and, having good balance, he makes it to where he wants to leap from.
He thought, "I can either swing out, and maybe fly 10 feet in the air, or I could jump out and drop 25' to the water". The latter option was more dangerous, so that's the one I was going to choose.
So there he is, drunkenly wobbling on his branch, imagining how manly he must look to the girl he brought, when he decides to jump.
He doesn't think before he does this, because the human penis has no brain.
On the way down, he notices another tree, directly next to one he just leapt from, only this one had fallen in the water and was covered in algae, and was DIRECTLY UNDERNEATH HIM!!!!!
The tree was under about a foot of water where he landed, directly on his heels.
Coming to, he straddles the log (thinking he had broken his legs, and not wanting to drown) keeping his head above water.
Luckily, this Florida frat boy just had sore heels, knees, and ankles for a few days.
That was one of the craziest things I've ever done.
EDIT: hindsight is 20/20!
