okay... this is long, I'm sorry guys.
This one statement stood out like a sore thumb. So would you purposely make someone feel inferior so they can strive to be better? Is this what works for you? Not judging, just asking as I have seen people use this tactic and it comes across exactly like you said. Like they are trying to make someone feel inferior hoping they will strive for better.
I did mean to reference "vulnerability" rather than inferiority. I still stand by this. I believe ISTPs don't may not change until what they do stops "working." In the same sense, feeling types don't change until what they are doing doesn't make them feel good about themselves or others anymore. I worded that poorly. And poki, your example was a good one. I've seen that happen but never recognized what was really going on.
Potential does not equal real.
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Only for those who have self-esteem issues.
I see "self esteem issues" as based in potential. Seeing your vulnerabilities because of your interactions with someone else triggers your potential for self esteem problems. That doesn't mean it automatically causes self esteem issues, but there are likely always other factors that determine this. You can't blame the person for feeling bad about themselves if they see bad in themselves any more than you could the other person. It is a cop-out to blame either party. Then again, I am inclined to associate blame with intention.
This is non-sensical to me. People strive to be better because they see an objective path to improve themselves in a supportive environment, not because they feel inferior. Low self-esteem does not feed ambition, only envy and resentment..or self-hatred.
I don't think personal change happens much in supportive environments, but that's just my experience. I usually see change in people associated with loss or environmental shift / stress. And you're right. I'm not saying poor self-esteem motivates people to get better (as I explained above). I think conquering it is a crucial step in self-betterment. Saying they should make the best of it is far removed from saying they are themselves a problem because they feel inferior. I think the only place we really disagree is how the person with inferiority issues should be viewed. But this is going off on a tangent.
It' s perfectly sensible. People do it all the time. My argument is that you can be understanding and supportive of another without sacrificing one's innate charisma, esp if the charisma is perceived as threatening by someone with low self-esteem. But the solution is not to dilute one's own energy but to find ways to help the other find their own energy and healthy self-esteem. To weaken oneself would only send a self-defeating message.
That makes more sense than the original post. It didn't really seem like you were saying that the "dumbing down" would be like a facade. It sounded to me like you were saying the individual who was fine with themselves would be dumber for considering change in the way they respond to the partner based on their feelings. I get you now, I think.
That's my link you stole it.
That one was good. Have you guys seen some of the other ones on there? The ENFJ female portrait is ridiculous...
EIE male and female - Wikisocion
I can't even finish it.
