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Thread: SP's and Change

  1. #21
    brainheart
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    I too get bored with everything. It's like my whole life requires rearranging, regularly, on every level. What makes that difficult is that I have been married for the last eleven years and I have two kids. A few years back I had a bit of a nervous breakdown, I think due to my desperate desire for change. (It had been so long!) So I moved out, separated from my husband. Then, and only then, did I realize how much it sucked not to have him around and how much I relied on him.

    But I definitely still get my Gauguin fantasies of just splitting, but now that I've had the life experience of it, I know that isn't the proper solution.

    I think we SPs need our external surroundings to change in some way in order to feel stimulated/ inspired/ excited. It's kind of like how I haven't really exercised much in the last few years (although I used to religiously) because I feel like I've exhausted all of the possibilities in my surrounding area. It can be painful to walk or run the same route more than a couple of times. It's like I can sit in my house and visualize the whole route before I even step outside so what's the point?

    There is little that makes me happier than wandering around and exploring a new city, provided that it's an interesting one.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Willfrey's Avatar
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    Since 02' I've lived in eight different places, about to move to my ninth. I'm very good at throwing out useless crap I don't use so its very easy to move, I can fit everything I own in the back of a longbed pickup and inside my car. I'm like a nomad.

    I've worked three (four if you count my brief part-timing) jobs since I graudated high school. Ever job I've had I left because I was offered something better, never fired.

    As for relationships, I've been in a couple but most ended rather quickly. I am in one now going on a month, we'll see what happens
    ...Then I ducked my head and the lights went out, and two guns blazed in the dark;
    And a woman screamed, and the lights went up, and two men lay stiff and stark...

  3. #23
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    what is it about a place that bores you? Is that the only thing you enjoy doing? What are you looking for, because you are doing alot of searching externally.

    I can say the same thing about myself. Doing alot of searching internally.

    There I go with the digging
    Im out, its been fun

  4. #24
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    what is it about a place that bores you? Is that the only thing you enjoy doing? What are you looking for, because you are doing alot of searching externally.

    I can say the same thing about myself. Doing alot of searching internally.

    There I go with the digging
    No, I do tons of searching internally as well. If anything, I think new external stimuli distracts me from the internal, so I feel better and more energized. It brings me out to the physical world, which is nice. But if the physical world no longer offers something new, I return to the internal, my guess is the Fi/Ni place.

  5. #25
    brainheart
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    I should add that new external stimuli can be something as simple as learning how to play a new song on the guitar or reading a new book or seeing a new band or checking out a new exhibit at a museum, as well. It doesn't require a major life change, necessarily.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    No, I do tons of searching internally as well. If anything, I think new external stimuli distracts me from the internal, so I feel better and more energized. It brings me out to the physical world, which is nice. But if the physical world no longer offers something new, I return to the internal, my guess is the Fi/Ni place.
    From my perspective a new external environment would give you something new internally to adjust to avoiding other internal issues.

    In my caes it would be changing who I am internally to avoid facing external issues.

    Basically you need to change your internal environment in order to slow down and I need to change my external environment.

    Digging really sucks. You are trying to find perfection but reverting to changing what you are good at changing.
    Im out, its been fun

  7. #27
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    Digging really sucks. You are trying to find perfection but reverting to changing what you are good at changing.
    Way too true.

  8. #28
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    I match this pretty good. I agree with what is said about suddenly realizing people are closer to me then I wanted. Can you elaborate on this? With me its something I can see and with me I act dumb to avoid leading them on anymore. I have seen smiles that to me scream "I love you"(not infatuation, but love) and I play dumb. Other times someone will say something to me and I start to think about what they say and realize how much I feel about them that I missed because I do live in the moment.
    So I have this tendency to live day-to-day, going with whatever anybody/anything throws at me, and not really thinking about what I do or don't want from them. It's a very subconscious thing, it seems like. But every once in a while, there will be a trigger that sets it off... Like if someone happens to overstep a boundary of mine that I forgot about. Then all of a sudden I'm fully conscious of what I do/don't want and ... well... do something about. Which usually entails me changing a relationship and my day-to-day boundaries with that person. It's a very strange thing. Because while I -am- aware of how close a person is getting to me and/or if their feelings are developing for me, it really isn't until some forgotten (but really important) boundary is compromised that I do anything about it. Until then, I just go with it... and "play dumb," similarly to what you do. :P
    I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by StephMC939 View Post
    So I have this tendency to live day-to-day, going with whatever anybody/anything throws at me, and not really thinking about what I do or don't want from them. It's a very subconscious thing, it seems like. But every once in a while, there will be a trigger that sets it off... Like if someone happens to overstep a boundary of mine that I forgot about. Then all of a sudden I'm fully conscious of what I do/don't want and ... well... do something about. Which usually entails me changing a relationship and my day-to-day boundaries with that person. It's a very strange thing. Because while I -am- aware of how close a person is getting to me and/or if their feelings are developing for me, it really isn't until some forgotten (but really important) boundary is compromised that I do anything about it. Until then, I just go with it... and "play dumb," similarly to what you do. :P
    Im out, its been fun

  10. #30
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    I like internal consistancy for that gives me security unless it some personal imperfection, ever striving for perfection. In a way, I detest my perfectionist ideals because I tend to focus on the negative and beat myself up for being human.

    Externally, I enjoy new things but I do need a base to work from such as my house so that when I am over stimulated from my enivornment, I can get some down time, recharge and process my experiences.

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